Children of Saturn, Book I: What Have We Done
by NessieCullen9
Summary: Picks up part-way into New Moon. Edward and the Cullens left Bella in Forks, but Jasper goes back to check on her. Full of romance, suspense, and intriguing mythology, this is the first book in what will be the Children of Saturn trilogy.
1. Different

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 1: Different **

**A/N: Very short chapter, I know. Longer ones to come, I promise. Please leave a review!**

**Jasper's POV:**

"Why do you keep asking me about Bella?!" Alice snapped at me, her flash of irritation slapping me in the face. "You know Edward told me not to check up on her!"

"That didn't stop you from trying, before," I said calmly, trying to calm her down as I spoke. That only made her more irritable, though.

"Stop messing with me, Jasper!" She snapped in reproof, before continuing: "Sure, I tried checking in on Bella a couple times, but after Edward's last visit…"

"That's my point, Alice," I said. "When Edward came by, a couple weeks ago, he seemed different… Something isn't right, there, Alice. The emotions I was picking up from him made no sense. He was still sad and still grieving, but there was something else… I know you don't want to hear it, but he almost felt relieved… Like he's getting better. It hasn't even been a full three months, since we left Forks. None of us expected him to recover so quickly, after leaving Bella. Can't you understand why that makes me wonder about Bella? How she is or isn't recovering? If something in her life, now, is responsible for Edward's change in attitude? If Edward knows something about Bella that we don't…"

"Jasper, _I don't want to talk about Bella, right now_!" Alice's anger was starting to make me uncomfortable. I was starting to feel irritable, too, as I absorbed some of her emotion. I didn't want to end up lashing out at her, in response, so I abandoned my course of questioning and changed tact:

"What _do_ you want to talk about, Alice?" I asked her evenly. The change in approach worked. The emotional climate in the room shifted abruptly… To sadness, frustration, fear, and anxiety. I wasn't expecting that reaction. I waited for some kind of explanation… And, nothing. Alice just stared at me with an ambivalent expression that was somewhat unnerving.

"Alice?" I pressed. She looked down at the floor.

"I saw something, Jasper," she whispered almost inaudibly, even to my ears.

"What did you see, Alice? Why are you so upset?"

"It's about us… About you and me…" Alice's voice was still barely audible. Her emotions were much stronger: Guilt, sadness, fear, uncertainty… It made no sense.

"Alice, what is it?" I encouraged her, "Please, tell me." Alice sniffed, as though she would be crying, were that possible.

"We're going to… Break up… We're going to grow apart. It's already started, but… I can't see everything, yet. I just… I don't understand it!" Alice's earlier frustration returned with a vengeance while I gaped at her, stunned by what she was saying: "It happened right after we left Forks. My visions just went haywire! I thought something was wrong with me! I saw all of us coming back up here, to Denali. What was really strange was that I still saw Bella becoming a vampire… I _really_ don't understand that one… Then, I had a vision about you and me. I couldn't believe it was true, at first. I was waiting for whatever changed to change _back_! But, it hasn't changed!" Alice finally looked back up at me, and her expression was pained.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," she breathed. "I saw someone else… The same way I saw you, I mean… When I first saw that I would find you, and that we'd be together. It isn't just me, though! It's you, too! I saw us _both_ finding different soul mates! I guess what changed was… Our souls? I saw that we'd still be like family to each other; like brother and sister, but… For anything more than that… We aren't right for each other, anymore. Or, we won't be for much longer, anyway. The vision was in pieces. It wasn't all clear. Too many decisions still have to be made, but… It hasn't changed, Jasper. That's why I've been so upset lately. I… Don't know what to do about this..."

I was frozen. Completely dumbstruck. As a vampire, my mind was much more complex and efficient than a human's, but it still short-circuited as it tried to process Alice's words. I was aware that my mouth was slightly open, waiting for my mind to project some kind of sound through it; a growl, words, anything. Words came first:

"We'll both still stay with the family, though?" I wasn't entirely sure why that particular question came out, first. I suppose it was a sensible question, though. Alice and the rest of my family were all that kept me to this lifestyle; they were my reason for sticking with the vegetarian diet. I had to know if I was going to be able to hold onto some part of that.

"Yes," Alice said immediately. She paused for a moment and her eyes became unfocused. After a few seconds, she came back out of her vision. "Like I said, I see us becoming more like brother and sister, within our whole family. We'll go our separate ways here and there… We'll each separate from the family at different times. Those parts are a little cloudy, but I see us coming back, in the end. We'll still be part of the Cullen family."

"So, I'll…"

"Yes," Alice gave another quick response. "You'll be fine, Jasper." Of course, she knew what I was worried about. "You'll stick to the diet. You'll be okay, as far as that goes. You'll still be part of the family. You'll always have that, and it will keep you strong."

"You and me, though?" I asked slowly, still recovering from Alice's revelation. "I don't understand…"

"Nor do I, Jasper," Alice said softly. She walked over to me and took my hands in hers a little tentatively. "It's just what I saw." Alice paused for a moment, then she let out a frustrated sigh. "Things have felt a little different between us, though… Since about the time we left Forks; when I had the vision. That could be self-fulfilling prophecy, I guess, but… Maybe not. I still love you, Jasper. I really do, but it just feels…"

"Different," I sighed. I had felt the same thing, of course. For a couple months, I'd felt it… Different. There was really no other way to put it. Something was different. Something had changed, and, according to Alice, it wasn't going to change back.


	2. The Shell and the Hole

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 2: The Shell and the Hole**

**A/N: A note to the Jasper/Bella fans reading this fic. If you haven't noticed, I'm working on two big Js/B stories, right now. This one, and P.S. I Love You. Here's a reading tip: The relationship will move faster in this fic. If you prefer slower progress, see P.S. I Love You. Also, PSILY is more poignant, while this fic will have more angst and violence.**

**Jasper's POV:**

"You're going back to Forks." Alice said as I came down the stairs. It wasn't a question. She'd seen it, of course. It wasn't a question, but I still answered:

"Yes. I need a little space to think… After what you told me. And I still can't shake this feeling that one of us needs to check on Bella… I probably won't actually show myself to her. I'm not sure how she would take that, since I attacked her, the last time she saw me… I'm just going to move back into the Forks house for a while, and I'll just drop by her house at night, to see how she's doing."

"Edward won't like it." Alice said.

"He probably won't find out for a while, if at all," I said. "He visits us so infrequently, and he's too wary of seeing Bella, again, to come to Forks, himself. And, anyway, this isn't about Edward… Not much, at least. It is true that his odd behavior is part of my motivation to check on Bella, but I'm going back to Forks for my own reasons, too."

Alice stood up from where she was seated on the couch and she walked over to me. She hugged me and rested her head on my chest, sighing heavily. "I know that," she said. Something was off, though: Frustration, worry, sadness, anxiety, confusion… "Call me and tell me how she's doing, okay?" Alice added suddenly.

"Have you tried to see her, Alice?" I asked anxiously, absorbing her emotions. "Is she okay? Is something wrong?"

"I didn't see much," Alice admitted. "I just saw you climbing up to her bedroom window and… Turning around and running away." I tensed involuntarily.

"Why am I going to run?" I asked. "She won't be _physically_ hurt, will she? Will Bella be bleeding? Is that why I don't get any closer?" Alice shook her head.

"I recognized the look on your face, Jasper," she said. "You looked the way you do when you… Wish you weren't so empathetic." Oh. It had to do with my emotional sense, then.

"What makes me run, though?" I asked Alice. "I mean, are we talking about an uncomfortable amount of lust? Or fear? Worse than that? Is Bella okay?"

"You know I can't see details like that, Jasper," Alice murmured against me, still holding me in her arms. "I… I hope she's okay. Promise you'll call and tell me?"

"I promise," I said, bending down to lightly kiss the top of Alice's head. "I'm taking the eight o'clock flight, tonight… Fewer humans in the airport and on the plane. I was just heading out for a quick hunt, to prepare myself. Come with me?" Alice nodded.

"Tanya and Irina should be on their way back from seeing Laurent off, soon," she said. "I still haven't been able to see why he decided to leave, so suddenly."

"I couldn't really care less," I growled softly. Alice pulled away from me and gave me a quizzical look.

"I never liked him, either, Jasper," she said, "but what, exactly, did he ever do to you?" I let out another soft growl. The pixie did have a point.

"Nothing, I suppose," I conceded. "He's just been acting… Very withdrawn for a couple weeks, now. He's been so happy with Irina, since he came here. The change just made me suspicious, I guess. I've been wondering if he's cheating in the diet. His eyes are still red, after all. They should, at least, be dark gold, by now… We've been here for three months, and he came out here a few months before us, when he left James and Victoria… Maybe that's why he's leaving?"

"Perhaps," Alice said thoughtfully. "It's hard to believe he'd choose human blood over Irina, but he's not us, I guess… Maybe finding a mate isn't reason enough for him." I almost growled, again. Filthy nomad. If _I _could give up human blood, he could. He just didn't want to. If Alice and I were correct in our assumptions, Irina would be upset, but she would be better off, in the end. She _clearly_ wasn't Laurent's top priority. She deserved better.

"Well, let's go," Alice said after a moment. "You need to hunt." Alice took my hand and pulled me out the door even as she spoke. As we stepped out into the Alaskan twilight, I realized how different her touch felt. I still felt love coming from her, but it just wasn't the same… Her hand in mine didn't send an electric current through my arm, and her hand didn't hold onto mine quite as tightly as it once did. Her grip on me was already loosening. She was preparing to let go, knowing that we each had to find someone else to hold on to. I let slip a wistful sigh as we ran through the mountains. I would miss my Alice…

* * *

It felt strange, entering the big Forks house, alone. Everything was just as we'd left it; not a pillow was out of place. The only thing that was different was the smell. None of our scents lingered in the house, after this long. Bella's scent was also long gone from the place. Bella… It was a little after midnight. She and her father would surely be asleep. I could think of no reason to not check on her, now.

It only took me four minutes to run to Bella's house. I stopped when I was still several yards away and stared at the house warily. What Alice had warned me of, earlier, still disturbed me. A few yards closer, and I would be able to pick up on any emotions coming from the small house in front of me. Bella and Charlie were both asleep, now, though. How bad could the emotions coming from two _sleeping_ humans be? They were in a relaxed state. Why would Alice see me running away? Was Bella awake, after all? Would her emotions be stronger? And what on Earth would she be feeling…? I moved a few yards closer, and I… _Heard_ Charlie's voice. He was awake, and talking on the phone, by the sound of it. I only heard his voice, speaking without response:

"It's been three months, Renee… I can't think of anything else to try…" That was Charlie Swan? He sounded so different; weary and hopeless. What was going on? "I'm telling you, Renee, it's not like someone left her, it's like someone _died_! The first month was bad enough; the non-stop crying and barely eating… I still hear her screaming in her sleep, every night…" Was it possible for vampires to get nauseous? Charlie was talking about Bella… Not eating, screaming in her sleep… Alice's warning suddenly made more sense. "I'm not sure if this new phase is better or worse. When she was crying all the time, she was, at least, showing _some_ emotion... Now, it's like night of the living dead, around here. Dr. Gerandy had been throwing around words like 'catatonic' and 'comatose'! I swear, Renee, I don't…" This was difficult to listen to, now. It sounded like Charlie was actually _crying_! "I don't know who that girl upstairs is, Renee, but she isn't our little girl… She's just… A shell. I don't know what to do…"

There was a long pause in which I assumed Bella's mother was responding to Charlie, over the phone. I was frozen on the spot, and I was _already_ considering turning around and running away. What have we done to Bella? What did _Edward_ do to Bella? He never really gave us any details about what he'd said to her… 'A shell', Charlie called her. It was difficult to imagine Bella that way… She was always so warm, courageous, and loving. If I dared approach her bedroom window, now, what would I find inside? Did I really want to know?

"Maybe," Charlie's voice murmured in response to something Renee said, on the phone. "I'm pretty sure Bells is down for the night, so I'd better take advantage; get some sleep, you know… Yeah, sure. I'll talk to you soon, Renee. Bye." I heard Charlie hang up the phone and walk upstairs very slowly. I heard a door open slowly, then it shut again and he kept walking. Another door opened and shut, and I heard the creaking of an old bed, as he climbed in. The coast was clear for me to check on Bella… If I still wanted to.

After a moment of indecision, I realized I was acting ridiculous. I was behaving like a coward! This was _Bella_ I was dealing with! And I was just going to get close enough to get a look at her and feel her emotions! I'd fought and destroyed countless _armies _ofnewborn vampires, and here I was, considering retreating from such a simple task as checking on _one_ human girl! Such action was _not_ an option. I moved closer to the house.

Bella's familiar scent became continually stronger as I neared her window. When I was within easy jumping distance of the closed window, her emotions started seeping out to me. I had been very wrong, in expecting her emotions to be dulled by sleep. She was anything but relaxed and peaceful: Desolation, deep despair, fear, confusion… Unbearable heartache, loss, emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness… She felt so horribly… _Unloved_? No. Certainly Edward didn't tell her that he, flat out, didn't love her! He felt he had to leave Bella behind, but he wouldn't be _that_ cruel! Would he?

Bella's emotions tore viciously at my still heart as I made myself jump up to her window, so I could look inside. I almost didn't jump high enough, though it was an easy distance. Bella's emotions were so incapacitating, they physically weakened me. It was agonizing, and that was _before_ I _saw_ Bella… A shell. A beautiful, broken shell. She was curled into a fetal position on top of her bed, above the comforter. No blanket covered her petite frame at all. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her torso, as though she was trying to hold herself together. She looked even paler than I remembered her, the moonlight making her skin look as white as mine, inside the dark room. There were deep shadows under her eyes, and a couple slow tears rolled down her face even as I watched her. She shivered and a strand of her dark, messy hair fell across her furrowed brow. Her lips were dry, and she was thinner than when I last saw her… Too thin. A broken whimper escaped her parched lips and she shivered, again. That was all I could take.

I jumped back down from the window and actually _fell_. I tripped across the ground, my legs giving out under the weight of the emotions coming from Bella; crippling me, drowning me. It took a frightening amount of effort to push myself up off the ground and run away. Far away. When I got back to the house, I collapsed onto the couch. Vampires, technically, didn't get tired, but I had never felt so exhausted.

As soon as I recovered and had complete control over my own emotions, again, I was furious. What the hell did Edward _do_ to Bella? Did he know she was like this? And that was just in her _sleep_! What I heard Charlie say, though… He said she was _apathetic_, now. In her sleep, she was anything but emotionless. Was she different, while awake? I actually flinched at the thought of going near her, again, to check on her during the day, but I would have to. I needed to understand.

It was December twenty-eighth. Bella was on winter break from school, so I went back to her house at around three o'clock in the afternoon, expecting her to be there. She was there… At least, she was there _in_ _body_. Charlie was at work, so I was able to get very close; inside, in fact. When Bella was distracted, at one point, seemingly starting to cook dinner for her father, I snuck inside through a widow in the living room. If I couldn't see Bella standing in the next room… If I couldn't smell her human blood and hear her heartbeat, I might have thought she wasn't there at all. There was no emotion coming from her. In emotional agony, in sleep, and hollow when awake. She was empty and lifeless, none of her previous light in her at all. It was beyond disturbing. She, somehow, even managed to _look_ worse than when I saw her, the previous night:

She looked unstable and fragile in a way that had nothing to do with her somewhat clumsy nature. She was so thin and pale… The shadows under her eyes gave her an almost ghostly appearance, and her long, heavy hair looked _too_ heavy as it framed her blushless cheeks. She looked so tired… And empty. The only time she showed any flicker of emotion or feeling was when she would, seemingly randomly, wince in pain. Then, she would mutter something unintelligible to even my ears and resume her lifeless piddling about. It was extremely disconcerting.

At one point, while Bella continued working in the kitchen, I decided to look around the house a little. Edward and Alice had both been inside before. Carlisle had even come here, once, while Bella was recovering from James' attack. I, however, had never come anywhere near this house, before. I found myself making a quick course to Bella's bedroom… And wishing I hadn't.

I barely noticed the fact that Bella's scent was so strong, inside the room. The room was, actually, relatively tidy, but it felt as hollow as the girl downstairs was. There was a blanket thrown over what appeared to be a rocking chair, in the corner of the room. That didn't make sense to me. A CD player sat on a nightstand near Bella's bed, but I saw that it was unplugged, and I didn't see any CDs anywhere in the room. The stereo that Emmett, Rosalie, and I had given to Bella for her birthday was in a garbage bin near her closet, as was a well-read copy of _Romeo and Juliet_. That brought my eye to the small bookcase in the room: Bella had good taste in literature. There was a lot of Shakespeare, several other classics, a good assortment. Upon closer inspection, though, I noticed her scent wasn't very strong on those books. She hadn't touched them in quite some time… I couldn't understand. Not until later that evening, anyway.

I went back to my own house when Charlie got home, and I decided it was time to call Alice. I described it all to her; every detail. When I was done, she sounded as upset as I felt, if not worse, as she explained the state of Bella's bedroom to me:

"It's everything that reminds her of Edward," Alice's voce was a breath above a whisper. "Everything she did with him. She listened to all sorts of music with him, and he wrote that lullaby for her… So, she stopped listening to music… And tore the stereo out of her truck, apparently. She read all those books a lot, before, and he would read to her, or talk to her about the books… So, she stopped reading them… _Romeo and Juliet_ was one of her favorites, and she and Edward compared themselves to the characters, sometimes… The star-crossed lovers who would rather die than be apart, with such different families and lives…" That last comment struck a nerve.

"I haven't read _Romeo and Juliet_ in a while, but I don't remember Romeo mercilessly ripping Juliet's heart out," I growled softly. "And I'm _positive_ there is no point in that story in which Romeo tells Juliet he doesn't lover her. Perhaps that's why the book ended up in the trash," I added bitterly. "Bella's not a fan of the rewrite."

I was mildly surprised when Alice didn't say anything to counter my cold remark. She made no attempt to defend Edward. She didn't say anything for several seconds. Then, she almost whimpered, "What have we done?"

"I don't know," I said softly, "but I feel like I need to try to fix it."

"Should I come down there, too?" Alice asked me. I considered that for a minute.

"No," I eventually answered. "Stay up in Denali, and… Don't tell any of the others about this, yet. Just give me a little time down here, alone. I'm not, exactly, sure what I'm going to do, but…"

"You'll be fine, Jasper," Alice reassured me softly. "You'll figure something out."

"Vision?" I asked her.

"No," she laughed half-heartedly. "I just believe in you, that's all. Just keep in touch, okay?"

"Of course, Alice," I answered her.

"Are you going back to her house, tonight?" Alice asked me, then.

"I think so," I said. "I'm going to run out for another quick hunt, first, just as a precaution. Then, I probably will go back over there."

"Just be careful, Jasper," Alice warned. "After last night…"

"I know," I said. "If I can make myself get close enough, I think I'm going to try affecting her, tonight; calming her, I mean. She needs a night of actual _rest_... She needs peace."

"Edward stayed with her, you know," Alice said suddenly. "In that rocking chair, for the first few months, before she knew he was there. That's probably why it's covered up, now. Then, after that day he went to his meadow with her, he started staying in bed with her, at night. He would hold her while she slept…"

"Alice…" It took me a moment to process what she was saying. "Are you suggesting that _I_ do that?" I asked her incredulously.

"Yes and no," Alice answered slowly; thoughtfully. "You're influence on others _is_ stronger with physical contact… But, I'm not sure how Bella would respond to the cold, hard feeling… She used to like it, but… Like I said, yes and no. I can't see anything, of course, because you haven't decided what you're going to do, yet."

"Alice," I said slowly, "I don't think I… Could."

"Jasper, you just told me you were a few feet away from Bella, today, and that you went inside her room, already," Alice said with an exasperated sigh. "You _really_ need to give yourself more credit. If you do get close to her, tonight, you're not going to hurt her. I don't _need_ my visions to tell me that. I know it to be true. You'll be fine, Jasper. Just… Take care of Bella, okay?" My still heart ached at the plea in Alice's voice.

"I will," I promised her. "I need to go hunt, now. It's getting late. I should get back to Bella, soon."

"Bye, Jasper," Alice said. "Call me tomorrow."

"I will," I responded, and we both hung up.

At nine o'clock that night, I was outside Bella's window, once again, steeling myself to move even closer. Bella's emotions were devastating as she slept, just as they had been last night, and it took immense effort on my part to not succumb to the torrent. After a minute or so of standing outside, below her window, I leapt up to the window and slid it open, climbing quietly inside. I briefly debated over whether or not to close the window behind me. The fresh air would help dilute some of Bella's scent, but it might also make her too cold. I decided to shut the window. It was December, after all. The window made very little noise, but, for a moment, I thought the sound had woken Bella:

"Edward," she whimpered the name. "Don't leave me… Please… Please, come… Back…" She begged. She was sleep-talking. I remembered hearing her sleep-talk a little when Alice and I stayed with her in Phoenix. The sound hadn't been so painful to hear, in that hotel.

"Edward," Bella whimpered, again, and her arms tightened around something she was holding against her chest. Looking more closely, I recognized it as a photo album. She was gripping it so tightly; the hard edges of the book cover were making indentations in her arms. I walked over to her and carefully pried it out of her grip, careful to not touch her skin, in case the coldness of my skin should startle her awake. I opened the album and flipped quickly through the pages. I stopped when I got to an empty page bearing the caption, _Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13__th_. There had obviously, once, been a picture of Edward above that caption. A picture Bella would _not_ have discarded, herself. It had been _taken _away from her. I suppressed a growl. How could Edward be so cruel?

Bella whimpered, again. Wordlessly, this time, but I felt even more pain pour out of her than before. She tossed fitfully in her sleep and she was radiating distress. I could scarcely imagine what horrible dreams plagued her every night. Though I had yet to hear it, Charlie said she screamed in her sleep, every night. And she was already crying, as I watched her. Slow tears rolled down her pale cheeks, just as they had last night. The urge to reach out and wipe them away was almost irresistible. I started sending waves of calm to her… And she reacted violently.

Bella screamed and suddenly sat bolt upright in her bed. I dove _under_ her bed not a second too soon. Bella whimpered in pain, and I tried not to echo the sound. Her emotions were unbearable! I felt like there was a gaping, burning hole in my chest with raw, ragged edges. I would take the burn of vampire venom over this pain. It was excruciating! Loss, loneliness, worthlessness, emptiness… I was unloved, I was unwanted, I was unworthy of love, I… Had to stop this! NOW! Without thinking of Bella's reaction, I threw the full force of my power at her, drowning her in lethargy, just to make the pain stop. I heard her fall over onto the bed with a dull thud.

I was gasping for unnecessary breath as I crawled out from under the bed. Despite the amount of lethargy I was pushing into her, some of Bella's painful emotions still seeped out of her, filling the room, but it was bearable. Without thinking about what I was doing, I climbed up on _top_ of the bed. I laid down beside Bella and I pulled her blankets up to her shoulders before pulling her body closer to mine. I tried to avoid skin-on-skin contact with her, but I wrapped my arms around her and I poured peace and pleasure into her. The wrinkle in her forehead smoothed out and the expression of distress on her face slowly faded. Her own arms, wrapped around her torso, loosened their hold ever-so-slightly. Now, I knew why she held herself like that. She _was_ trying to hold herself together, in spite of that excruciatingly painful hole in her chest. That indescribable pain… And Edward had caused it. _We _had caused it.

I did not move from Bella's side for the rest of the night. I did not reign in my power for a second. Only when I heard Charlie stir, in the morning, did I let go of Bella. I sent one last tidal wave of peace into her as I climbed quickly out of her bed and out the window. I ran back to my house at my top speed, then. I grabbed the phone as soon as I was in the door, to call Alice. Not only did I have more to tell her about Bella, but I needed the contact for _my_ benefit, too. I could still feel the echo of that hole in my chest, and I desperately needed relief. I needed someone who loved me to assure me that someone, somewhere, still cared about me…


	3. Right Here

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 3: Right Here**

**A/N: _Very _short chapter, I know. It's more of a transition chapter, but a sweet one. These first three chapters have been in Jasper's POV, but the next one will be in Bella's POV. By the way, I have a bit of a soundtrack for this fic in my head, and the theme song for chapters 1-3 is "My December" by Linkin Park. **

Okay, apparently I overdid it a little. As if Charlie Swan wasn't worried enough about his daughter, I went back to check on Bella at four o'clock in the afternoon and found out that she had yet to wake up, since I spent the night with her. Perfect. First, my entire family leaves her and breaks her heart, then, I come back and put her in a coma. That really was overstating things a little, but still… I spent so little time around humans; it was easy to forget what lightweights they were when it came to my power. I definitely needed to do a little damage control.

I jumped through Bella's window, again, and threw a quick jolt of alertness and energy into her before hiding in her closet. Bella stirred and woke up. I struggled to not react defensively to the pain, again, and let her compose herself at her own pace. After a few minutes, she'd settled into her apathetic mode. She looked at the clock on her nightstand and gasped, realizing how late it was. She quickly climbed out of bed and I prepared to follow her. I already had a plan of action set: I would just let Charlie see Bella, so he wouldn't worry, and then I would hit her with lethargy, again, and make her come back to bed. Then, I would help her sleep another peaceful night… At a lower magnitude, this time.

As I expected it would, relief gushed out of Charlie, when he saw Bella. Bella moved to get something to eat, so I waited for her to finish her bowl of cereal before I started sedating her, again. I already had her eyelids drooping when Charlie decided to attempt a conversation with her:

"Angela Weber called, this morning," he told her. I remembered that girl. I never met her, but I remembered her being one of Bella's human friends.

"She did?" In spite of my power and her own apathy, Bella sounded stunned. Charlie laughed once.

"Yeah," he said. "Apparently, she hasn't given up on you, yet, kiddo."

"What did she want?" Bella asked flatly.

"She's going to see a movie in Port Angeles, tomorrow, for New Year's Eve," Charlie said. "She said she's already got one other friend coming along, but she wants you to come, too." The tone of Charlie's voice was painfully pleading. This man was practically begging his daughter to go out with her friends. His desperation made me remember the hole in Bella, again, and I winced in pain that was not my own.

"Maybe I'll give her a call, in the morning," Bella mumbled wearily. "I'm still really tired. I'll have to see how I'm feeling, tomorrow…"

"Bella, you've been asleep all day," Charlie responded incredulously. "How can you still be tired?" Bella shrugged.

"Midon't know," Bella mumbled, garbling her words together. "Maybe I'm getting sick…"

"Then, I guess you should rest," Charlie conceded dejectedly. "'Night, Bells."

""Night, Dad," Bella murmured as she walked heavily back up the stairs. I retreated back into her closet as she entered her room. Bella climbed onto her bed without pulling the covers back, stretching out on top of them and quickly falling asleep under my unrelenting influence.

I moved toward Bella slowly and sat on the edge of her bed, facing her. She did not stir. I breathed in deeply, and I ignored the burn in my throat. Freesia. I could smell it, now. I had not been able to make distinctions between the scents of humans until very recently. I had been practicing, in Denali, with Eleazar's help. Even when Bella's blood was spilled in front of me, a few months ago, she had smelled irresistibly sweet to me, but I hadn't been able to smell what the rest of my family did: Freesia… And… Was that lavender? I hadn't perfected the skill, yet, so I couldn't be sure. I drew another deep breath. My thirst flared, but I fought it down, once again. Bella smelled wonderful.

"Edward," Bella whimpered. Oh, no. Not again. I was about to increase the amount of lethargy I was pouring into her, but then…

"Jasper," Bella murmured. I froze and stared down at her in shock.

"It's… 'S not your… Not your fault…" Bella whispered. She whimpered softly and her hands balled into fists. "It's okay… Blood… Not your… Fault… Jasper…" Bella's brow furrowed and I felt the same urge to touch her that I had felt last night. I didn't touch her, but, before I could stop myself, I responded to her:

"Yes, Bella?" I prodded softly. Bella stirred, but she did not wake.

"I'm sorry," Bella said. That threw me. She spoke very clearly, but… That couldn't be right.

"For what, Bella?" I whispered to her.

"Papercut," Bella mumbled. Oh. _She_ was apologizing to _me_ for that? That wasn't good.

"That wasn't your fault," I whispered. "It was mine."

"No," Bella objected, again, very clearly. "Not… Jasper… Don't go…" Bella's voice cracked slightly on that last word, and a tear escaped her eye and rolled down her face. It was a heart-wrenching sight.

"I won't," I said to her, and I was relieved to see the faintest flicker of a smile cross her face. The expression was fleeting, though. Her brow furrowed in pain, again, seconds later:

"Edward," she whimpered, again. I sighed. I increased the amount of lethargy and serenity I was sending into her. I reached out and barely touched her shoulder with my fingertips.

"Rest, now, Bella," I whispered. "Rest, now, and feel better, tomorrow. I'm right here…"


	4. Déjà Vu

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 4: Déjà Vu**

**A/N: Sorry I have to up the rating from T to M, now. I tried writing a watered down version of this chapter, but it just didn't work right. Besides, I know some later chapters will need the M rating, too. It's only some chapters, though. This one is rated M for some language and sexual references. It's a good one, though. Please leave a review. **

**Bella's POV:**

I woke up feeling better than I had in a long time. The problem was, feeling better made me think of Edward; of how he would stay with me at night and comfort me, hold me… And the pain returned. Surprisingly, it wasn't quite as strong as usual. The edges of the hole in my chest festered and burned, but it was a little easier than usual to fight the feeling down. I forced all my feelings inward, and I closed myself off. This defense mechanism had almost become automatic, by now. I suppose that's a good thing. Not only does this fog I put myself in make everything a little less painful for me, but Charlie doesn't have to see the pain, this way… It's better this way.

I got out of bed slowly and looked around my room. For some reason, I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched… Window closed, nothing out of place… Nothing. There was no one around, but the feeling remained, just as it had yesterday. In that brief amount of time I'd been awake, yesterday, I could've sworn Charlie and I weren't the only ones in the house… But there was nothing. Maybe the problem was that I'd been cooped up in here too long. After all, I had yet to leave the house since school got out for winter break… But Angela had still called.

I turned to check the clock: It was Noon. Yes, I definitely needed to get out of the house. Why was I suddenly sleeping so much? It was surely worrying Charlie. He'd feel better if I went out with Angela, tonight. I just hoped she would still want me to come, on such short notice. Making up for as much time as I could, I ran downstairs at a dangerously fast pace, for me. It really was a miracle I didn't fall. I just shot Charlie a quick, forced smile as I grabbed the phone and dialed Angela's number.

"Hello?" I was beyond relieved when Angela's voice answered. Dealing with her parents or her brother would have been much too awkward. As it was, this was going to be awkward enough.

"Angela, it's Bella," I responded tentatively.

"Bella?" Angela sounded shocked. Thankfully, she recovered quickly. "Bella! Did you get my message? Can you come, tonight?" She sounded so excited. I felt a little guilty. I was surely not going to be very good company. I just wasn't myself, anymore… I could only hope I wouldn't disappoint Angela too much.

"Yeah, sorry I'm calling back so late," I said, "but if the invitation is still there… I'd like to come."

"Oh, that's great Bella!" Angela said, still with that enthusiasm that made me uncomfortable. "Of course the invitation is still there. We haven't had a fun night together in months. I really want to see you." She was kind enough to not mention the reason for my detachment, though I was sure she was thinking about it. Angela, at least, hadn't changed much. She was such a great friend.

"Who else is coming?" I asked her. "My dad said someone else was already coming along. Is it Jess?" I really hoped not.

"No, it's not," Angela said. "She, Mike, Tyler, and Lauren made other New Year's plans. Um… I wasn't sure if I should mention it to your dad, or not… I don't know if you noticed, but I've been dating Ben Cheney for a while, now…" Some friend I was. The last date I remember Angela going on was with Eric, to the prom.

"Oh, so _they're_ coming?" I asked Angela, shooting a surreptitious glance over my shoulder at Charlie. I wasn't sure how he'd take that detail, either.

"Oh." Angela responded, realization in her voice. "You're dad is there?"

"Mm-hm."

"Well, yeah, this night out was kind of supposed to be a… Well, a date," Angela said, her excited voice finally taking on a somewhat pleading tone. "The thing is; Ben _really_ wants to see this big action movie that's playing, now. I'm sure it's going to be one of those ridiculous, completely overdone things with lots of explosions and a terrible plot…" For the first time in months, I couldn't help but laugh a little. It was nothing impressive, really; a very soft laugh. Still, I could've sworn I heard Charlie choke at the sound, somewhere behind me.

"Calling for backup, Angela?" I asked. I heard Angela laugh, too.

"Yes," she almost whined. "I really like Ben. He and I are great for each other, but he has such _horrible_ taste in movies! You'll still come, given that information, won't you? Please, Bella, help me out, here?"

"Sure," I said. "Yeah, I'll come. What time?"

"The movie starts at six, so Ben and I will pick you up in three hours. Is that okay with you?"

"That's fine," I said. "Thanks, Angela, I'll see you soon."

"See you, Bella," Angela replied, and we both hung up. I gave Charlie a second to recover before I turned around to face him. He had mostly collected himself, by the time our eyes met, but not completely. So many emotions were clearly fighting for dominance on his face, I almost wished Jas… Someone who knew his emotions better was around to explain them to me. What was I doing? I _had_ to stop thinking about the… Them. I was finally feeling slightly better, today. If I let my mind keep wandering to them, that wasn't going to last long.

"You're going out, tonight, then?" Charlie asked in a forced casual tone.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said. "Angela will be here in a few hours, to pick me up. We're going to see a movie in Port Angeles." If Charlie didn't ask about the third person involved, I wasn't going to bring up the subject. Charlie seemed deep in thought for a moment.

"I guess Port Angeles is far enough…" He murmured. I waited for him to explain. "That bear hasn't been seen that far out. It's been a little closer to town." Bear? Oh. Now that he mentioned it, I vaguely remembered people at school talking about that.

"I heard some talk about that," I told Charlie. "People are saying that bear is as big as a horse. Is that true?" Charlie shrugged.

"Hard to know. I haven't seen it, myself," he said. "I doubt it's that big, though. People are also saying it's a black bear, and they just don't get that big. Even grizzlies don't… I'm sure whoever started that rumor was just exaggerating. The bear's size doesn't really matter, though. We just need to find a way to stop it, and keep it out of town. A few hikers have been killed… You know, Bells, there have been more deaths around here, since you got here, than there have been in… Well, I'd guess about ten years, now…"

I just nodded, not saying anything. What was I supposed to say? Well, Dad, I don't know about this bear, but, before that, it was a coven of three vampires killing those people. They tired to kill me, too. Remember what happened in Phoenix…? Right. As if he didn't _already _think I was going crazy.

"Well, I need to get ready, Dad," I said. Angela's going to be here in three hours." I started toward the stairs, but Chief Swan came to his senses, then:

"Who else is coming?" He asked. "Angela said on the phone that another of your friends is going." I sighed heavily. What was the point in lying? Charlie was in interrogation mode, now. He wasn't going to give up easily.

"Ben Cheney," I answered. Without looking, I knew by the beat of silence that my answer surprised Charlie.

"Cheney?" He asked. "Yeah, I know that kid. I didn't know you did…"

"He's Angela's boyfriend," I said over my shoulder, continuing my course upstairs.

"Oh." Charlie sounded a little relieved. Of course. As long as the boy I would be with tonight was already taken… "Well, he's a good kid, I guess. Maybe you'll have some fun tonight, huh?"

"Not likely," I murmured too quietly for Charlie to hear.

Angela and Ben waited for me in Ben's car, when they pulled up, probably trying to dodge interrogation from Charlie. I told them he was okay with Ben being with us, as soon as I was in the back seat. Angela and Ben both visibly relaxed. Angela only asked me a few harmless questions as Ben drove to Port Angeles: Did I hear it was supposed to be sunny, tomorrow? Did I get anything nice for Christmas? Things like that. She was obviously being careful not to pressure me to talk about things I didn't want to discuss. It made me a little sick to my stomach. If _Angela_ was walking on eggshells around me, I didn't want to think about what everyone else in town probably thought of me, by now. And, here, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of covering up the pain I was in. I wasn't fooling anybody.

We arrived in Port Angeles at five-forty-five. Fifteen minutes before the movie was set to start. We went inside the fairly vacant theatre and Ben bought popcorn for all three of us. By the time we found seats in the screening room, the previews were starting. Honestly, I was grateful that the movie _was _one of those superficial action movies. Minimal romance, no supernatural creatures, nothing to cause and emotional breakdown, on my part. I was able to keep my defenses up, through this. The only thing that started to bother me, after a while, was the talking going on somewhere behind me, Angela, and Ben. I really wouldn't have minded the talking so much, but the content was disgusting:

"Hey, babe, we could go make something _else_ explode, if you want," some pervert was saying to the girl with him.

"Baby, just watch the movie," she laughed back.

"Can't do that, with you sitting here," the man replied. The girl suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, and I fought not to visualize what was probably happening behind me. Ben was the one who cracked, first.

"Hey, get a room, back there," he snapped, turning to face the man behind us. Angela grabbed one of Ben's hands.

"What's the matter, kid," a different man's voice laughed. Something about his voice sounded strangely familiar. "The two little hotties you're with not giving you any?" Ben jumped to his feet, but I helped Angela pull him back down.

"Just let it go," Angela whispered to him, amid the laughter of the men behind us. "It's not worth it."

"Just try to ignore them," I said. "It's only going to get worse if you egg them on." Ben was clenching his jaw tightly, but he nodded.

"If either of you girls get too lonely, you can join us back here," the familiar voice called. The other man and the girl he was with laughed loudly.

"Let it go," Angela and I both whispered to Ben at the same time.

"Yeah, come on, the prude can share," the man with a date called. "Poor kid doesn't know what to do with two women. We do." I was almost gagging, now. We continued to ignore the comments, though, and the talk eventually died down.

It was right in the middle of the big, cliché chase scene that the movie, itself, started making me uncomfortable. The romance between the two main characters intensified. One line after another was brimming with passionate declarations of love. When the lead male character told the dark-haired beauty next to him, "You are my life, now," I jumped to my feet. I mumbled something about going to the restroom to Angela and Ben, as I sidled out of the isle.

It was on my way out of the room that I got my first good look at the men and woman sitting behind us: The woman looked like a trashy version of Rosalie, though not nearly as beautiful. The man next to her and the man whose voice sounded so familiar… Were much _too_ familiar. I ran out of the room, praying they didn't recognize me, as I did them. There were only two, instead of four, but I _definitely _knew who they were.

No one followed behind me, as I made my way to the women's bathroom. I breathed a sigh of relief, once I was inside. I walked over to the sinks and looked in the mirrors. That was when I realized I was crying. Probably from the romantic scene in the movie. I hadn't seen that coming. The hole in my chest was throbbing, and I became aware that my defensive wall was down. I felt very alert and clear, my protective mental fog absent from my mind. I tried to bring it back. I tried to shut down, again, but I couldn't. Something was stopping me. Was it the shock of seeing those men, again?

"Anyone in there?" A man's voice said, and there was a knock on the restroom door. "Janitor. Heard someone got sick in there. Anyone in there?" I listened for the sound of any other women in the room. No response.

"Yeah," I had to answer. "Just a minute."

"Only you in there, sugar?" Another man's voice called. My stomach dropped to my feet. The door started opening, and I ran into the nearest stall, locking the door behind me and stepping up onto the toilet, so my feet couldn't be seen under the door. I crouched down so my head was below the top of the stall door, just as the two voices spoke, again:

"It's been about eight or nine months, hasn't it, sugar?" The more familiar of the two voices said. "Been a long time, but I never forget a pretty face." Was it possible to leer with your voice? Apparently so.

"What you doin' here with that prude boy, baby?" The man who had pretended to be the janitor said. "He seems to like that other girl more, anyway. Or, is that the problem? Do you prefer girls, baby? Is that why you're hiding from us?"

"Jerry and Pete are gonna be sorry they missed you, sugar," came the other man's voice. If I ever get out of this and have another boyfriend, someday, calling me 'sugar' is going to be a deal-breaker. My heart was pounding so hard against my rib cage; a vampire could probably hear it from a mile away. I prayed it wasn't so audible to the human ears moving ever closer to me.

"Come on, babe, my girl's waitin' for me back there," called the other voice. "How am I supposed to tell her I prefer little brunettes? Don't make me get caught."

"Should've thought about that before you brought Maureen along, Cid," the man who liked to call me 'sugar' replied.

"How was I supposed to know we'd run into our old friend, here," Cid retorted. "Damn, Kyle, you're the one who set me up with her!" The other man, Kyle, laughed.

"She's fucking hot, man," Kyle laughed. "And easy. Doesn't play hard to get like our honey in here." Great, he was moving on to 'honey', now. Worse, he was moving closer. I could see his boots under the stall door. I tried to draw in a deep breath, preparing to scream for help, but the simple shift in my weight that caused made me lose my balance and fall from my precarious perch on the toilet.

"There she is!" The man named Cid said. He and the heavier guy, Kyle, both reached under the stall door and dragged me out.

"You okay, sugar?" Kyle asked, pulling me to my feet. "Didn't hurt yourself, did you?" He looked just as I remembered him: Dark hair, large build, and leering brown eyes. I had one arm free, so I aimed a punch at him. The other man, Cid, caught my wrist before I made contact.

"Oh, she's still feisty," Cid laughed. I recognized him as one of the two that had herded me around to Kyle, that night. He had blonde hair and had a much leaner build than Kyle. He was really tall, though. He was a few inches taller than Kyle, and he towered over me. "Hear any cars coming?" He asked Kyle with a smirk. "Don't think Maureen will put out, if I've been hit by a truck."

"Nah, that's not gonna happen, again," Kyle said, his eyes raking lasciviously over me. He brought one hand up and grabbed a fistful of my hair before adding, "Nowhere to go, this time, sugar." I opened my mouth to scream, but he crashed his lips against mine. I thrashed in his grip, trying desperately to push him off me, but he just pushed me forcibly back against the counters behind me. I felt a hand on my thigh. I couldn't tell who it belonged to. I screamed as well as I could with Kyle still kissing me, and I kicked out as hard as I could. I was clawing at Kyle's face, kicking anything I could reach, and even trying to bite the harsh lips assaulting mine, but to no avail. I thought nothing would stop these men, until a low, bass growling filled the room.

Kyle was abruptly torn away from me and thrown into one of the stalls, the door breaking right of its hinges at the impact. The blonde man, Cid, quickly met the same fate. It all happened so fast; it gave me a brief sensation of vertigo. When I came out of it, I realized with a shock who my savior was: It was Jasper. I only saw his back, but I knew it was him. He was advancing on Kyle, again, though both Kyle and Cid were unconscious. That was when it occurred to me that they were both bleeding from the head… A lot.

"Jasper!" I gasped out, my voice hoarse from my muffled screaming. "Jasper, stop! Don't do it! They're probably already dead, Jasper… Those head wounds… Jasper, please? Don't drink from them! Jasper, stop!" Where was Alice? Edward? Carlisle? I knew I would probably pay for thinking of all of them, later, but the floodgate was open, now. Jasper couldn't control himself with that much blood flowing. The smell of all of it was even making _me_ dizzy. He couldn't stop, and I couldn't stop him. Just then, though… He did.

Jasper stopped and turned around. His eyes were pitch black as he looked at me, but he looked… Controlled. He kept his eyes on mine as he took one slow step toward me, taking another when I didn't react fearfully. He didn't say anything, probably holding his breath. He did send a wave of calm into me, though, as he closed the distance between us. I didn't move, and he picked me up, swinging me into his arms and carrying me out of the women's restroom at human pace. I watched his face as he looked up and down the hall, once, before moving down the hall at vampire speed and carrying me into the men's restroom, instead. Still holding me in one arm, he grabbed one of the heavy trash cans from the corner of the room and placed it in front of the door, as a barricade. It was only when he walked farther into the room with me that I caught sight of myself in the mirrors.

"Oh, Jasper, it's okay," I gasped. "You don't have to do this. I'm bleeding. Let me clean myself up. You can put me down, Jasper. I'm fine. Please…" I was sounding more hysterical with every word I spoke. I tried to reign in my fear, knowing that only made it more difficult for vampires, like Jasper. Jasper set me down gently, but he didn't let go of me completely. I realized why, once my feet touched the ground. I winced in pain. I didn't realize I was landing any of those kicks I threw, trying to fight off those men. I couldn't remember feeling much pain at all, in the moment, but I sure did, now. Every inch of me was hurting! I'd had worse, though… Much worse.

With Jasper's help, I made my way over to one of the sinks. I turned on the water and Jasper let go of me, to grab some paper towels. My lip was bleeding, so I tended to that, first. I washed the blood away and applied pressure with one of the damp paper towels until the bleeding stopped. The top button of my blouse was gone, so I smoothed the collar down, to cover the evidence. My hair was a complete mess. I got my hands wet and tried to work my fingers through the tangles, but only a couple of them came loose. When I tugged at them harder, I flinched. My head hurt from how hard Ky… That man… Pulled my hair.

"May I help?" Jasper asked me, then. I jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. I looked at him in the mirror. "I won't hurt you, Bella," he said, responding to my reaction to his voice or promising not to make my head hurt worse, I couldn't tell. I nodded. He moved a little closer to me and I my eyes fell shut when his cold fingers touched the sore spots on my head, easing the pain. I relaxed at Jasper's touch, and I wasn't sure it was just because of his power, either. I missed the touch of these vampires I cared so dearly for. Cold and hard, but still such a comfort to me.

Jasper was very gentle as he pulled the knots out of my hair, always holding the strands he worked with near the roots, so I barely felt the tugging at all. After a minute or so, he was done. I opened my eyes and ran my own fingers through my hair, again, finding not one snag.

"You should get back to Angela and Ben," Jasper said suddenly. "They'll be worried about you. That movie should be ending, any minute now." My heart dropped right out of the hole in my chest and silently fell to the floor, only to jump back in and start hammering against my ribs as panic overwhelmed me.

"No!" I said, whirling around to face Jasper. "You can't leave me, now! No! Stay… Or we can both go… Just, please! Don't leave!" Jasper touched my shoulder and a heavy wave of calm washed through me, rendering me speechless for a moment.

"I'm not leaving, Bella," he said, his black eyes looking straight into mine. Crap, he was dazzling me. Please, no… The hole in my chest seared and Jasper flinched. "Bella!" He said, demanding my attention. "I'm not leaving. Not that way. I really need to hunt, though, and you need to get a ride home with Ben and Angela. Listen to me, Bella. It won't be long before someone finds those two men we left in there. They're dead, Bella. If your friends hear about that and don't see that you're okay, they'll suspect the worst. Go home. I'll hunt, and then I will come meet you there. I will explain everything, Bella, I promise you. Right now, you and I need to cover our tracks." I nodded. That did make sense, as long as he promised he would come back, later.

Jasper surprised me, then, by taking my hand and leading me out of the men's room, tossing the trash can he'd left in front of the door aside. I was even more surprised when he pulled me toward the concession stand. He bought a box of Junior Mints and handed them to me. "Tell Ben and Angela you were only in the restroom for a minute, before you went to get more food. If they hear anything before the three of you leave, I don't want them to suspect you were in there with those men." Jasper nearly growled those last two words. I nodded compliantly. Jasper gave my hand one light, reassuring squeeze, sending one more wave of ease and calm into me. Then, he let go, and, before I could blink, he was gone.

I made my way back into the screening room and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the woman, Maureen, still sitting there. I kept my eyes away from her as I made my way back to Angela and Ben. "Bella, where were you?" Angela whispered as I sat down. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I whispered back. "I wasn't feeling well for a minute, that's all. I think I'm just hungry. I decided to get something else to eat, but no one was working the concession stand, so I had to wait for a few minutes. Sorry." Mercifully, Angela and Ben both seemed to believe me. Just to be safe, I made a show of quickly eating the candy Jasper bought for me. The movie ended just as I finished off the box. It ended with a romantic scene, of course, but, this time, I barely noticed.

As Ben, Angela, and I left the screening room, I saw Maureen turn and head for the women's restroom. There were a couple other women in the hall, too, all heading the same direction. In an act of sheer desperation, I challenged Ben and Angela to a race back to the car. I fell twice, scraping my palms on the ground, once, but we at least made it to the car before the commotion started inside. Even as I climbed into the car, though, I could hear a woman scream, inside the theater.

"What was that?" Ben asked, exchanging a glance with Angela.

"Wasn't there a horror movie playing, too?" I asked. "Maybe someone got a little more than they bargained for…" Ben and Angela laughed.

"Good point," Ben said as he started the car and drove off. Wow. I was getting away with more lies than usual. Best to keep my mouth shut, now, and not push my luck. That was easy enough. Ben did most of the talking, going on and on about the movie. I only spoke up once more, on the ride home: When Fall Out Boy's song "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" came on the radio, I insisted on a station change.

I dodged any talk with Charlie, after Ben and Angela dropped me off, by telling him I was sick from eating too much junk food at the theater. I went up to my room and changed into my sweats, so I could make another pass downstairs to convince Charlie that I was going to bed.

"You're not going to stay up until midnight?" Charlie asked me, as I made a show of getting a glass of water. There probably _was_ a good chance that I would be up that late, but I wasn't going to tell Charlie that.

"No," I said. "I'm pretty sick to my stomach, after the movie…"

"Well, I'll probably turn in early, too," Charlie said. "Billy called and invited us over for breakfast, tomorrow. The Clearwaters are gonna be there, too. So are Sam and Emily Uley and a couple other La Push kids. It's kind of a tradition they have, there: The first meal of the New Year. They wanted us to join them, this year. Jacob, in particular, really wants to see you. Sam, too. Don't know if you remember him… He's the one who found you in the woods, that night…" I choked on my last gulp of water.

"Yeah," I coughed. "Sounds fun, Dad. Good night."

"'Night, Bells," Charlie replied as I walked upstairs.

When I got back to my room, I hesitated before climbing into bed, looking around the room. Thinking of Jasper coming, I walked over to the trash can and moved it inside my closet, hiding the evidence that I'd thrown away the stereo he, Rosalie, and Emmett had given me, for my disastrous birthday. I also pulled the blanket I'd thrown over the rocking chair off and tossed it on top of my bed. Finally, I looked at the window. It was closed, as it had been since Edward left. When he and the other Cullens were still here, though, I always kept it open, inviting any of them inside. I walked over to the window and pushed it open, letting the cool breeze from outside wash into the room. Nothing moved, outside… But Jasper had promised… Not that Edward had kept his promise… The hole in my chest ached and burned viciously. I couldn't let myself think of that.

I walked over to my bookshelf and grabbed Shakespeare's _Othello_, before settling down on my bed, to read. I opened the book to the final act, where Desdemona waits for Othello in their bed, and my eyes went to the song she sings:

_The poor soul sat by a sycamore tree,__  
Sing all a green willow.__  
Her hand on her bosom, her head on her knee,  
Sing willow, willow, willow.  
The fresh streams ran by her and murmured her moans,  
Sing willow, willow, willow.  
Her salt tears fell from her and softened the stones,  
Sing willow, willow, willow.  
Sing all a green willow must be my garland.  
Let nobody blame him, his scorn I approve  
I called my love false love, but what said he then?  
Sing willow, willow, willow.  
If I court more women, you'll couch with more men._

Edward had left me. I was nothing to him. Not that I ever completely believed I was… I could never be good enough for a creature like that. He could do so much better. Gorgeous, strong vampires like Rosalie were meant for him, not me… And only filthy men like the ones in Port Angeles would ever want me… I closed my eyes as tears fell from them, as I waited for Jasper to come. Not that I was worth the effort…


	5. Papercut

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 5: Papercut**

**A/N: I got several requests for more of Jasper's POV, and here it is. Next chapter will be in Bella's POV, though. The two POVs will alternate unevenly throughout the story. Theme song for this chapter: "I Feel Everything" by Idina Menzel. If you've never heard it, here, at least, is the end chorus:**

**"When you're furious,  
When you start to freeze,  
When you can't be touched,  
I feel everything.  
And when you despair,  
When you cannot breathe,  
When you wouldn't dare,  
I feel everything.  
When you're in ecstasy,  
But you're not with me,  
When you can't be touched,  
When you can't be loved,  
When you fall apart,  
****When you have no heart,  
I feel everything."**

**Enjoy the new chapter, and please leave a review!**

I took my time, while I hunted. I was still furious with those repulsive men… Leave it to Bella to run into the same men whom Edward once had to save her from. She was still a danger magnet… And we had left her without protection. What if I hadn't come back here? What if I hadn't followed her to Port Angeles? I was no longer thirsty, but I took down one more elk, just for the sake of attacking something. I felt no remorse for killing those men. I was only sorry Bella had to witness it. Bella... I needed to get back to her.

When I was within a few yards of Bella's house, I could hear her father snoring. As soon as I came close to Bella's window… Worthlessness, sadness, loneliness… Normal emotions for her, now, unfortunately… Hope, hopelessness, trust, betrayal, confusion… Those were new. They probably had to do with me. She wasn't sure what to make of seeing me, again, apparently... Resignation… To what?

"Of course he's not coming," I heard Bella mutter to herself. "Why did I actually let myself believe…?" And there it was: The hole was back. No… The hole was _worse_. Damn, I was an idiot for not thinking of that! The way she reacted when I told her to go back to Angela and Ben… I told her I would be back, but… Regret, desolation, despair, betrayal, loss… Loss. _I _had done that. She already lost all of us, once, and now she believed she'd lost me, again. It was a good thing I didn't really need to breathe, because I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. Bella's broken heart thrashed at my own still heart, trying to break it, too. Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice… I was _not_ unloved. Alice still loved me… Even though she said we're each going to find someone else… Alice doesn't… No, no, no…

Apathy. I was on my knees, gasping for breath. The pain was still there, but it was a little more bearable. Apathy… I knew what that meant: Bella was beyond coping. She was turning back into the empty shell… She'd come out of it for a little while, earlier, but she'd already been hurt enough to withdraw, again… What was I going to do? I didn't want to feel the excruciating hole, again… I didn't want _Bella_ to have to feel that, again, but… She _wasn't_ Bella, like this.

I shot a strong wave of lethargy in the direction of Charlie's room. Bella was going to be making a lot of noise, very shortly, and I didn't want him to wake up. I leapt up into Bella's open window and she gasped in surprise. Well, that was what it _sounded_ like, at least. I only felt minimal surprise from her. She was determined not to feel anything. She stood no chance against me, though… I moved quickly to where she sat, on the edge of her bed, and I lifted her into my arms. She screamed.

I cradled Bella against my chest and pushed every conflicting feeling and emotion I could into her, all at once: Fear and trust, love and hate, sadness and joy, giddiness and lethargy, calm and anxiety, excitement and wariness, anger and adoration… Bella screamed a couple more times and she struggled violently to break my hold on her, but her fight was lost to my strength, and her defensive apathy didn't last long, either. I gradually reined the force of my power in and Bella's screams dissolved into soft whimpers, and she stopped thrashing in my arms. I kept a steady stream of calm and ease going into her, so neither of us would have to experience the full force of her pain, but, otherwise, I let her experience her own emotions without my interference. Alarm, confusion, anger, sadness, confusion…

"I'm sorry I had to do that, Bella," I told her softly as I placed her back on her bed. She promptly turned onto her side and curled into a fetal position. "What you're doing, though… The way you keep shutting down… I've never felt anything like that, Bella. I've also never felt such terrible pain coming from one person… I wasn't sure what to do, but that apathetic stupor you keep falling into… That just can't be good for you, Bella. It can't be healthy. I just want to help you, Bella. Forgive me?" Bella was silent for a moment, but I didn't press her to speak, allowing her to collect her thoughts. I really did feel guilty for putting her through that emotional torture. I've rendered vampires helpless with less magnitude. I would not pressure her to speak to me. I would understand if she didn't forgive me.

"Everything you just mentioned feeling from me…" Bella murmured after a moment. "How long have you been here?" Still very intuitive and observant.

"I came back to Forks five days ago," I admitted to Bella. "I've come here a few times, usually at night, to check on you. Alice warned me that you would be in bad shape, but… Bella I'm so sorry for what we did to you… For whatever Edward did to you. He never told any of us, you see, and we so rarely see him, anymore… We had no idea we were leaving you like this." Bella sniffled and her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. She kept her back turned to me.

"_You_ don't see Edward, anymore?" She almost whimpered. "Not even Alice…?"

"Just as the rest of us learned ways to block our minds from him, he knows how to dodge Alice's visions," I explained. "You know her visions are dependant on decisions people make. Avoiding making conscious decisions and changing your mind often, when you do, keeps her pretty well in the dark. It's difficult to do, but not impossible."

"But, why would he leave you?" Bella whispered. Hurt, worthlessness, betrayal… "He left _me_ because he was 'tired of pretending to be human'… Because you're vampires, and you aren't supposed to get involved with weak little humans…" Bella's voice gained a little more strength as she spoke, as did her emotions. I could tell a part of her wanted to be angry at Edward… At all of us, for leaving her. The larger part of her, though, believed every word of what Edward told her and believed his harsh rejection of her was deserved. I struggled not to growl in outrage as she went on: "He said he didn't want me. He doesn't love me, and… I can't say I blame him. He's right. I'm just one fragile little human… Back when James was hunting me… You told me I _was_ worth all the trouble… But I wasn't… I'm not. Edward just took longer to see what I knew to be true, from the start. It's my own fault for letting myself hope…" I lost the struggle against my outrage. I growled and Bella jumped. She rolled onto her back and looked up at me in alarm.

"Sorry, Bella," I quickly apologized for startling her through my clenched teeth. I focused on not projecting my fury out to her as I tried to explain: "Bella, I swear, I could just about kill Edward for saying those things to you… For _doing_ that to you. What on Earth would possess him…? What was he _thinking_?"

"Jasper," Bella said softly, making me aware of the fact that I was speaking more to myself than to her.

"Sorry," I apologized again, closing my eyes and taking a moment to calm myself down. I was losing control. When I trusted myself to keep my composure, I looked directly into Bella's wide eyes and spoke again: "I have no idea what Edward was thinking, when he said those things to you, Bella. He's the mind-reader. I, however, am the empath, and I do know what he was feeling. I haven't been near enough to him in a while, but, last I checked, he _does _still love you…." That was when I remembered, though: One of my main reasons for coming back here: Edward was acting different, last I saw him. He was _feeling_ different… Surely it was by some other cause, though? He _did_ still love Bella… Didn't he…?

"I'm human, Jasper. I'm not stupid," Bella suddenly said bitingly. She was, actually, _glaring _at me, now. "You vampires are all good liars, but _I've _become used to what to look for! You aren't sure if he does still love me, _I can tell_!" Anger was definitely starting to win out, now… As was outrage. I checked myself, to make sure I wasn't projecting my own feelings onto her… I wasn't. This was all her. "Why are you doing this to me?" She almost growled. If I wasn't so worried about her, I would be impressed. I knew she had a bit of a temper, but I never knew she had _this_ in her. "You can _feel_ that I'm still not over all this! It's been _months_! Charlie thinks I'm going crazy! Angela and Ben are the only humans around here who have spoken to me at all, in _at least_ two months! Dr. Gerandy thinks I'm on the verge of a complete psychotic break! And I can't _ever_ tell anyone the truth!"

Bella's anger broke as abruptly as it had flared, and she started to cry. Her body trembled and she curled in on herself, again, holding herself together with her arms and rocking herself back and forth slightly. I slowly moved closer to her, internally flinching at the pain radiating from her. The hole was making itself known, again. If I was going to try to smooth things over with Bella, I had to check her emotions before they crippled me, too. I sat down gently beside her and touched her shoulder lightly. Bella's grip on her torso loosened slightly and she stopped rocking. She relaxed slowly. I was trying to affect her as minimally as possible, while still being effective. I'd already put her through emotional torture, once tonight, to snap her out of her apathy. I was determined to be as gentle with her as possible, now.

"Did you come here just to lie to me some more?" Bella whimpered feebly. "Why are you doing this?" She asked, again. "You don't care about me. I'm not with Edward, anymore, so you have no reason to… Why?" That last question contained a hundred questions… A hundred broken pleas. She was asking more of me than why I had returned to Forks. She was pleading with me to help her understand. My silent heart broke for her, and, this time, it did so on its own. It wasn't just an echo of her pain, anymore. It was mine _and_ hers.

"Bella, I did not come here to lie to you," I promised her, and I tentatively brought my hand from her shoulder to her face, wiping away some of the tears there. I was somewhat shocked that she allowed that. She didn't recoil from my touch, and I had never touched her in such a tender, casual way, before now. I felt her surprise at the gesture, but that was all. Her cheek felt, by no means, cool under my fingers, but not as warm as I'd imagined. The way she always used to blush… I half-expected her face to feel perpetually warmer than most humans. That was something else, too: She used to blush deep red almost every time Edward touched her like this. I sampled her emotions: Emptiness, indifference, confusion… She just didn't care that I was touching her. It meant nothing to her.

"You're almost right, though," I continued. "Honestly, the last time I was near enough to Edward to get a sense of his emotions, he was feeling… Different. That's a pat description, I know, but I really don't know how else to describe it. His emotions confused me. I wasn't trying to lie to you about it, Bella. I just realized the untruth in my own words as I was speaking them. I apologize for that, but you know the truth, now. The truth is; I don't know what he's feeling about all this, right now. I'm sure he doesn't know how terribly he hurt you, but… Bella, I only know that he _did_ still love you, when we left. A few moths ago, all he wanted to do was protect you from the dangers of associating with us… He was very, very wrong in the way he did so, though. I doubt I'll ever be able to forgive him. I doubt Alice will, either."

"Alice?" Bella prodded, her curiosity piqued in spite of herself.

"I've called her a couple times, since I came here," I said. "She wanted me to keep her posted."

"Why?" Bella asked, again. "I still don't understand…"

"Well, that part is difficult to explain, Bella," I responded honestly. "You see, shortly after we left, Alice started having visions that she and I were going to grow apart and find new mates." Bella gasped at that revelation and I automatically sent a wave of ease into her, before continuing: "She saw that we would both remain with our family, and that we would always love each other, but… It just isn't going to be enough, anymore. Something changed between us. Neither of us really understands what it is, but there it is."

"That's awful, Jasper," Bella murmured. "I'm sorry, but… How did that bring _you_ here?" I had to consider, for a second, how to answer that.

"Again, I'm not entirely sure, myself," I told her. "Between Alice's visions and Edward's strange behavior… I just felt like I needed to get away for a little while, and, for some reason, I felt worried about you. I see, now, that I had every reason to be concerned, but I didn't know that, before I decided to come back to Forks. That was when Alice was able to see some of what I would find, here. It wasn't much, but she could tell that I would find you in worse shape than any of us had expected… What an understatement that was… I'm so sorry, Bella. I doubt you'll ever know just how sorry I am…"

"This isn't still about that papercut, is it?" Bella asked suddenly. I looked into her probing, somewhat accusatory eyes, surprised.

"No, Bella… Not really," I answered her. "I _am_ very, very sorry about that, too. I will never forgive myself for losing control like that, and trying to hurt you… _You_, of all people…"

"That wasn't your fault, Jasper," Bella interjected firmly. "I'm the one who was clumsy enough to hurt _myself_, doing something as harmless as opening a birthday present. Carlisle was the only one of you who didn't have to leave the house, after that whole mess. Edward, Alice, Esme, Emmett… They all had trouble controlling themselves, too."

"_They _didn't actually attack you, though…"

"They wanted to!" Bella snapped belligerently. "Sure, the parts of them that _didn't_ want to hurt me held dominance, but at least _part_ of them wanted my blood just as much as you did! _Edward_ had already _tasted_ my blood, before then! My blood is especially potent to him! He didn't want to admit it, but I could tell how difficult it was for him to restrain himself, that day! He wasn't breathing! I can barely remember a time after that party when he _wasn't_ holding his breath, around me! _That's _part of why he doesn't want me anymore, and he's right for it!" Bella was beginning to sound hysterical, now. "What happened was _not_ you're fault, Jasper, because who in their right mind _willingly_ exposes themselves to such temptation, all the time? Who on Earth wants to put themselves through that? I'm a fragile, tasty, clumsy human, Jasper! I'm _food_, and I'm not worth it!"

"_Yes you are_!" I growled a little too fiercely. Bella recoiled slightly, though her reaction was still amazingly fearless. She was merely startled. "Bella, you are _not_ 'food'. Not to _us_. Not to our family. To us, you are a courageous, trusting, warm, loving, wonderful girl, and _Edward_ is a _fool_ for giving you up so easily. Dammit, Bella, don't you realize that what happened with James only _strengthened _our bond with you? None of us _wanted_ to leave you, Bella. Alice was absolutely devastated! She _hated_ leaving you, but we all decided that it was Edward's decision to make. We respected his wishes… And we shouldn't have. We should have respected _yours_. You wanted to stay with us. You wanted to _change_ for us, and we were wrong to deny you that... Please, Bella. We had no idea what we were really doing to you. James was merciful, compared to us… I'm so sorry, Bella."

I watched Bella closely as her wide, shocked eyes went from my face to her right hand. She stared at the prominent bite scar that would forever remind her of the vampire who so nearly took her life… And that gave me and idea.

"Bella?" I spoke tentatively, sampling Bella's emotions as I spoke. She looked back up to meet my eyes. Curiosity and confusion. "I know Edward told you Carlisle's story, and I know you heard about what happened to Esme, and you found out what happened to Alice before she knew the truth, herself, but… Did Edward ever tell you anything about me?" Surprise. "Or Rosalie?" Utter shock.

"_Rosalie_?" Bella asked incredulously. Some of her earlier biting tone returned, when she continued: "I guess I don't know about all the rest of you, Jasper, but Rosalie_ hated_ me. Or have you forgotten? _Rosalie_ wanted to let James have me. No, Edward never told me _anything _about her, and I was never all that compelled to ask." Perhaps mentioning Rosalie was an errant thought I should have considered more carefully. I had my reasons, though.

"I suppose Rosalie won't like that I told you this," I conceded, "but, believe it or not, you two do share at least one experience in common… Well… Mostly, as it were. If Edward never spoke about Rosalie with you at all, then he must not have mentioned the one time she _did_ approve of how determined he was to protect you." Bella's chocolaty brown eyes widened and I could feel her utter disbelief. I nodded.

"When Edward saved you from those four men in Port Angeles, two of whom I just had to save you from, again…" Just that easily, I was furious, again, and I had to pause for a moment, to recompose myself. "Rosalie _did_ approve of that, not that she ever would have willingly admitted it. Edward saw it in her mind, though, and I could feel it. She was glad Edward saved you from… Being raped, and possibly killed by those men… Because that is what happened to her." Just that easily, Bella's emotions went from disbelief and defensiveness to sympathy and alarm. I smiled despite myself. Bella was so incredibly compassionate, and selfless in her compassion.

"When Rosalie was your age, and still human… Well, the world was a very different place back then, Bella," I explained. "It was not unusual at all for seventeen and eighteen-year-old young women to be married and have children. Rosalie _wanted_ a family, and her remarkable beauty made her quite the candidate for what she wanted. Her parents, of course, were not unaware of that fact. Her mother, in particular, deliberately displayed Rosalie in front of the wealthiest, most influential men she could find, where they lived. One man named Royce King was the epitome of wealth and status. Rosalie was dangled before him like bait on a hook, and he did not hesitate to claim her. They were engaged shortly after they met. Once the thrill of the chase was over, though, and once every man around knew Rosalie Hale belonged to him, Royce… Grew tired of her." I let those last words drip with venom, so Bella not only heard the sarcasm, but the implication of what was to come.

"One night, shortly before their wedding date, Rosalie was walking the short distance back to her home, from the home of a friend she had been visiting, and she came across Royce and a few of his friends. They were standing in the street, drunk and making quite the spectacle of themselves, from how Rosalie tells it. When her husband-to-be called out to her, though… It would have been scandalously improper for her to ignore him. She approached him and the other three men…" I stopped when I felt the sheer horror and comprehension pouring off Bella. I skipped ahead in the story.

"Carlisle, Edward, and Esme lived around the same town, at that time. Carlisle was the town doctor, and Esme was known to be his wife, and Edward was pretending to be her brother. Carlisle was out that night and he smelled all the blood, so he went to investigate. He found Rosalie barely alive, having been left for dead by those lowlifes. She was bleeding and broken, but her heart was still beating… Carlisle took her back to his home and changed her. At the time, he not only wanted to save her life, but believed she could be for Edward what Esme was for him. That's beside the point, though, and Edward never wanted her that way, and she found Emmett, later…"

Bella was very still, and her breathing was quiet. She stared at me in wonder for a long moment, while dozens of different emotions coursed through her. I waited for her to speak. "So..." She said after a long moment, "When she found out what those men would have done to me, if Edward hadn't stopped them…" I nodded.

"Rosalie is a vain, shallow, highly judgmental person, Bella," I said. "I don't really mean to insult her, by saying that. I'm just stating a fact which even she knows to be true. She is not completely without feeling, though. She is not unable to hold compassion for others, at all. She just struggles because… She never wanted this life. She wanted _that_ life. Before Royce King and his friends hurt her, all she wanted was to marry that man and have his children. She wanted to be a wife, and a mother, and she wanted to run a home of her own. Being a vampire deprives her of some of those things she desires most. She has a husband in Emmett, but she usually has to hide the fact that they're married. In this time, they're considered by many to be too young to have such a relationship, based on their physical appearances. And having children is impossible for her. She wants so much to be human, and you wanted to give that up…"

"I must have seemed so callous to her," Bella murmured, finally understanding. "Like you said, though, in _this_ time… Things like marriage and children never really crossed my mind. The opposite. My mom raised me to believe marriage and children can wait… She and my dad married straight out of high school and had me within the same year… She always insists she doesn't _regret_ what they did, because she's happy to have me, but... No wonder Rosalie hates me so much…"

"Oh, just you wait until she finds out about all of _this_," I said, looking around Bella's bedroom before looking back down at the confused expression on her face. "What Edward did to you," I clarified, "and what those same men tried to do to you, _again_… Rosalie will be furious with _him, _Bella. Few things are as inexcusable to Rosalie as so ruthlessly breaking someone's heart. That kind of thing hits too close to home, for her…" Bella considered those words for a moment. Judging from the emotions coming from her, she was trying to decide if she liked the idea of Rosalie being so angry with Edward, or not.

"She wouldn't really hurt him, would she?" Bella asked me when her protective nature won out. I tried not to laugh incredulously. How could this girl be so forgiving? I shrugged.

"It's difficult to say," I answered honestly. "Without seeing what he did to you with her own eyes, probably not. If she were to see what I see, now, though… What I've seen over these past few days… Well, even _I_ will have trouble not tearing him to pieces, the next time I see him." Bella winced at the grim sincerity I allowed into my voice.

"Please, don't," she said. "Please don't hurt him. I… It's not his…"

"_Don't_ say it's not his fault," I warned. Saying such a thing right to my face would _not_ help her case. "You're incredible capacity to forgive is an admirable quality, Bella, but you are much too forgiving with him… He doesn't deserve it. _You_ deserve so much better…"

"Don't," Bella suddenly whimpered, and she closed her eyes as a couple fresh tears escaped from them. "That's what Edward always said… That he was a monster, and I deserved better… Just… Don't…" Some of Bella's long hair fell across her face and I couldn't help but reach over and brush it away, wiping away some of her tears in the same motion. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with a look I wouldn't have been able to understand without my empathetic sense: Confusion, wonder, surprise, sadness, curiosity, need…

"What about you?" She asked suddenly. So, her tactic was going to be to change the subject… "You asked me if Edward told me anything about you. He didn't. He was always… Wary of telling me personal things about any of you. With his power to read minds, he felt… Intrusive… Like it was a betrayal of your trust to tell me about things that should be private to you; safe in your thoughts. He talked about you the least of all, actually… And, I'm kind of wondering…"

"Yes, Bella?" I prompted her when she hesitated.

"You seem more… Controlled… Than you used to be," Bella whispered tentatively, wary of offending me, it seemed. "I mean, I always trusted you, before, but… You always kept your distance from me. And, when we were in the movie theatre… Those men were bleeding a lot… _I_ was bleeding, and it was more than just a papercut, but… Not only did you keep control, but you stayed and helped me… I guess I'm just wondering what changed so much in three months?" I nodded, completely understanding her confusion. I really did have some explaining to do. I wanted to explain everything in the right order, though.

"To understand the end, you need to understand the beginning, Bella," I began. "Back when I was changed, I was an officer in the Confederate Army, in Texas, during the Civil War..." And, with that, I began my story. I told Bella everything, including some details Edward probably wouldn't have approved of her hearing, but which seemed to interest her. I told her about Maria, about the Southern vampire wars, and the newborn armies. I told her how the Volturi, eventually, became involved. I was a little surprised that she already seemed to know a little about them, but I didn't break the course of my story to ask her about that. In general, Bella amazed me.

When I told her how much death I had on my hands, not only did she not cringe away from me, but she sat up and moved _closer_ to me, deliberately sending waves of understanding and sympathy my way. When I told her about the vampire population on the South being decimated, when the Volturi intervened, I could have been telling her about a group of puppies drowning. She felt sorry for all the lives lost! The word 'lives' being used lightly, of course. These were monsters! Killers, and she _still_ felt some compassion for them! I told her about how I met Alice; how Alice made me feel hope for the first time in almost a century, and Bella felt it, too. Hope and happiness poured out of Bella and into me, not just the other way around…

Finally, when I told Bella I wanted her to see some of the scars I'd received during that century of war, she got up and grabbed a flashlight out of her closet. When she climbed back onto her bed, she sat close to me and handed me the flashlight. I turned it on and pointed the beam of light, first, at my neck. Bella gasped when the concentrated light threw all the scars there into relief, making them visible to her human eyes. I rolled up one of my long sleeves and turned the light onto the exposed skin of my arm, and, as she looked over all the scars there, she touched her own bite scar, seemingly subconsciously. Her long, dark hair created a curtain that covered her face as she looked down at my arm, so I was feeling for her reaction with my emotional sense. Such measures proved unnecessary, though. Same old Bella; her body still betrayed her. I couldn't see her face very well, but I saw and felt a tear from her eye fall and splash across my cool skin. She reached out and brushed it away, herself, tentatively feeling the texture of the scarred skin it wetted.

"May I?" I asked, and Bella looked up to see that I was gesturing to her scarred right hand. She held it out to me readily. No fear or hesitation at all. I held her hand in one of mine, and lightly ran my other hand over the scar. It felt so different on her skin than the similar scars felt on mine. The scar, itself, was a few degrees cooler than the rest of her skin, and a little harder and smoother. The surrounding skin was warmer and softer. The scar almost felt like hybrid skin; part human, part vampire. It made me wonder… "What does it look like in the sunlight?" Bella laughed lightly. The sound was somewhat grim, but it was still nice to hear.

"I guess you never saw it, did you?" She said. "You always kept your distance, and it wasn't very sunny, that summer, after James attacked me… And, when it was sunny, I always went off to the meadow with Edward… It has a really faint glow in the sunlight. Nothing too noticeable… Not to human eyes, anyway. It's certainly not as conspicuous as your skin. It's just…" Bella sighed heavily and I looked up to see her eyes were closed. The pain which the stories about Rosalie and me had distracted her from was returning. I was instantly anxious to stop it.

"What is it, Bella?" I almost pleaded. "What's wrong?" I sent a gentle wave of ease into her, to help her collect herself. She gave me a brief, grateful smile.

"The bite…" She began. "The scar, and how it shimmers in the sunlight, how it feels cooler and harder… It's just a constant reminder of how close I came… Everything I wanted, then… If the venom had only been left to spread… It sounds stupid, but I like to think that the scar… That one small part of me made it… That one small piece of me _is_ a vampire. The rest of me… Just got left behind." Bella's pain intensified, and I felt the hole inside her ache. She thought of herself as being in pieces… One piece of her a vampire, another piece still human, and another piece was missing, altogether… That hole was inside her because she _had_ been left behind. It was too much.

"Come here, Bella?" I said, my wariness of making her uncomfortable making my words a question. I pointedly opened my arms for her and she looked at me in surprise… Which _did _turn into mild discomfort.

"You aren't going to…?" She said, and I knew she was thinking of how I'd used my power on her, earlier.

"Yes, but not like _that_," I told her. "Please, just let me try to help you, Bella? You have no idea what you're doing to me, right now. All the pain you're in… It's crippling, even to me. Believe it or not, you _have_ made a vampire collapse, before. A couple times, now, I've been here and I've felt that hole in your chest… I've felt that indescribable pain and it has, literally, pinned me to the ground. For both our sakes, Bella. Please, let me help you." That admission shocked Bella, to say the least. Then, she felt… Oh, that's just _perfect_. "Please, please don't feel guilty for how you're affecting me, Bella. I can't take that. Just let me hold you, please?"

Bella nodded slowly and crawled tentatively into my arms, resting her head uncertainly against my chest. I wrapped my arms lightly around her and focused on ridding her of her pain… On ridding _us_ of her pain, at least for a while.

"What about this, Jasper?" Bella whispered, after a moment. "I understand why controlling your thirst was so difficult for you, now, but… What changed? How can you do this with me and still be okay?"

"I always hated feeling so weak, when compared with the rest of our family," I explained, deliberately saying 'our family', instead of 'my family'. I was determined to make Bella realize how much we still cared for her. "When I attacked you, though… That was absolutely unbearable. I realized, then, that a big part of my problem had to do with the fact that I kept _excusing_ my behavior; writing it off as natural and unavoidable. And it wasn't just me… The others wrote it off as an inevitable result of my past, too… But, the truth is, there is _no_ excuse.

"I understand that you forgive what I did, Bella, and I'm eternally grateful for your understanding, but that doesn't mean I can forgive myself. After we left, I decided I was done excusing myself, and letting others excuse me. Attacking someone who meant so much to me and my family…" Oops. "_Our_ family… That was _not_ something that was excusable. Up in Denali, where all of us but Edward have been staying with some other vegetarian friends of ours, I asked everyone to help me stop, for good. Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar, and our whole family helped me push through all my shortcomings, where blood was involved, at least… Laurent was there, too, but he wasn't much help... That's beside the point.

"In these past three months, I've worked harder than ever at, not only controlling my appetite for human blood, but making myself more… Aware of it… Like the others. I never used to be able to differentiate between the scents of humans, you see, but now…" I deliberately inhaled Bella's sweet scent, deeply enough that she could feel the rise and fall of my chest, where her head laid against it. "Our entire family knew you smelled like freesia, but I can only pick up on that, now. It's strange how it worked out, really. Now that I've become more sensitive to the complexity of your scent, it smells even _more_ appealing to me, but my urge to risk harming you, just to taste it, is significantly lessened…

"That's why I can't forgive what Edward did to you, Bella," I said softly, "even if you _can_ forgive him. The thought of how close I came to hurting you _made_ me change, Bella. Almost two centuries of being tempted by human blood, and the temptation of your blood changed my life, forever. I almost killed you over a papercut, and, here, I'm holding you in my arms, trying to repair the damage _Edward_ did. I _almost_ hurt you. He _did_ hurt you, and did so _deliberately_, even if he was unconscious of how _much_ he hurt you, it _was_ deliberate. _I _came back. _He_ ran away… I can't understand how he could do that, Bella… I just can't."

Bella said nothing. She didn't move in my arms. She was, clearly, lost in thought. We stayed like that for several minutes: Me holding her and soothing her while she rested in the solace of my influence. Almost ten minutes passed before she spoke:

"Charlie and I are going down to La Push, in the morning," She said softly. "Billy Black invited us over for New Year's breakfast with some of the other Quileutes… Will you… Still be here, when I get back?" Incredible. Bella still doubted; still expected me to leave her, just as Edward had. It was, apparently, going to take a while to win back her complete trust… And I planned to remain here for that.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella," I promised her. "You know I can't go near La Push, but I'll be waiting at my house. I _will_ be there, when you get back. I'm not going to leave you, Bella. I may have spent almost a century fighting armies of newborn vampires, but knowingly hurting you, again, would take strength I just don't have in me. Now that I've felt your pain, I can't leave you alone with it, Bella. I won't." There was another long pause as I waited for some kind of response from Bella. After a minute of silence, she released a wave of trust and gratitude, and she spoke, again:

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Could you help me get to sleep? It's one-thirty in the morning, and I have to be up early, tomorrow... Today." I turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table and I saw she was right. I laughed softly.

"Of course, Bella," I said. "Would you rather I ease you into it, or put you under quickly?"

"Slowly, please," Bella answered quickly. I laughed, again. I didn't really expect her to take the second option. I started slowly increasing the amount of lethargy I was pouring into her, and I lowered us both down so we were laying side-by-side on her bed, instead of sitting up. Bella reached a hand back behind her and pulled the throw blanket that was no longer covering her rocking chair up over her body. I moved my arms outside of the blanket, so she would be warmer.

"Bella?" I whispered to her, when I almost had her asleep.

"Mmm?" She murmured.

"Do you want me to stay and keep your dreams away? I know they're horrible…" Bella tried to answer, but even I couldn't understand her garbled response, which she seemed to guess. She nodded, instead. The head movement was infinitesimal, but it was enough.

"Bella?" I whispered, again. She gave no answer, but I knew she could hear me, and she was not quite asleep, yet. "I'll do everything I can to _mak_e this New Year happier for you." A faint smile touched Bella's lips, and that was enough response for me. Not two seconds later, I had her asleep, and I held her in my arms for the rest of the night, not once tempted by her sweet-smelling blood.


	6. Revenge

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 6: Revenge**

**A/N: Theme song for this chapter: "In the End" by Linkin Park.**

**Bella's POV:**

When I woke up, I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Not that the feeling of the cold body so close to me wasn't proof enough. My dreams were vivid and realistic, but not _that_ realistic. I was still in Jasper's arms. He hadn't left. It took me a moment to realize he was the reason I woke up so easily. I could feel the energy and excitement he was pouring into me.

"Sorry," he murmured, smiling at the look of confusion on my face. "I guess I should be careful not to overdo it. Too much enthusiasm might make your father suspicious. He'll be ready to go to La Push in a few minutes, though, and he will feel better about it if you seem like you _might_ actually enjoy yourself. Honestly, I really do feel sorry for him…" Jasper frowned at me when that last part reignited my confusion. "Even if I weren't an empath, Bella, just _seeing_ what all this has done to you would be excruciating enough, and I haven't even been here for an entire week. Your father has been seeing this for months…" Oh**. **Now I understood… And I felt terrible. Jasper immediately countered those feelings with a slew of counterfeit emotions, all of them positive and relaxing.

"Sorry, Jasper," I said, pushing myself up and trying to stand up too fast, giving myself a head rush. Jasper was beside me before I could even begin to sway.

"Easy, Bella," he said, catching me in his arms and holding me steady. "It's okay…" I was surprised when I suddenly felt discomfort that did not belong to me. I twisted around in Jasper's arms and looked up at him. He looked very… Perplexed. I was about to ask him what was wrong, but he regained control over the emotions he was leaking out and he spoke first:

"Charlie's coming," he said, his dark gold eyes looking in the direction of my door, as though he were peering rightthrough it. "I need to go." My heart rate immediately accelerated and I stared at the floor, trying not to cry. One of Jasper's hands gently pulled my face back up until I met his eyes with mine. "I need to go _back to my house_," he qualified. "You know where that is, that's where I'll be, I promise." Jasper did look sincere, as he gazed down at me, but vampires were good liars. I knew that. If I let allowed myself to hope, and he didn't come back…

Jasper pulled me closer to him and he hugged me. He wasn't as gentle as usual, either. He didn't hurt me, but he held me snugly in his stone arms. I couldn't move an inch, if I tried. I didn't want to move, though. I didn't want to break his hold on me. The strength of it made it more real… Made _him_ more real; more present. That seemed to be the point.

"I'm here, Bella," He said. "I'll see you when you get back from La Push. Just…" That hesitation bothered me. I laid my hands against Jasper's stone chest and pushed. My strength was futile against him, but he relented to it, anyway. He took a step back from me and I looked up at him quizzically. He looked a little… Guilty. And that was all it took to send my heart pounding in panic, again.

"No, no, Bella, I'm not going back on my word!" Jasper instantly caught on to my assumption. "I promised you I'll stay, and I will! I only hesitated because… I don't want to sound too much like Edward, in saying this, but… Please be careful, Bella. I know you hate it when we're overprotective with you, but, especially after what happened last night, I can't help but worry about you."

"You already awake, Bells?" Charlie's voice made me jump. He sounded close. In less time than it took me to blink, Jasper was gone. Charlie knocked on my door three seconds later.

"Y-yeah, Dad," I stammered as I tried to collect myself. "I'm just getting ready to go. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Oh." Charlie sounded surprised by something. What did I do? "Um… Who were you talking to, Bells?" Holy crow! He heard me and Jasper talking?

"Singing, Dad," I spat out the first decent excuse that came to mind.

"Singing?" Now he sounded truly shocked. Maybe because I haven't even been _listening_ to music, in months? Great thinking, stupid human.

"A song from the movie, last night," I lied, again. "Got stuck in my head. Um… I need to shower, Dad." I heard Charlie walk away without another word. I should have skipped to one of his weaknesses, to begin with. Shopping for clothes, personal hygiene, boys... Usually, any one of those subjects was enough to send him running. Crying in front of him was kryptonite. Then, there was the s-word, and any topics immediately associated with it. I had yet to drop that bomb on him, and I never planned to, if I could avoid it. Too cruel to him and too embarrassing for both of us.

"Jasper?" I whispered, once I was sure Charlie was out of hearing range. Jasper stepped out of my closet, holding the remains of the car stereo I'd hidden there.

"There's nothing to feel guilty about, Bella," He said as soon as he felt my reaction to the sight. He didn't use his power to smother my feelings, though. "You were hurt, when we left. I noticed, a few days ago, that Edward stole away any mementos you had of him. The picture, the CD... It was a repulsively callous thing for him to do. What you kept or didn't keep should have been your choice. The decision is such a highly personal one, after all. Keeping reminders of your time with us hurts you, but so does losing them… I understand, Bella. Please, don't feel guilty about this. Everything about your last birthday was wrong, in so many ways."

I wasn't sure how to react to that. Jasper and I just stood there in silence for a moment that seemed to stretch on for hours. "I need to get ready," I finally whispered. "I'll see you when I get back?" Jasper nodded and leapt out my open window, taking the ruined car stereo with him. With a heavy sigh, I half-consciously grabbed some clothes from my closet and headed off to the bathroom, for a quick shower.

Charlie and I drove over to La Push separately; me in my truck and him in the police cruiser. Charlie was, technically, still on duty, today, so he needed to be able to leave at a moment's notice, without worrying about leaving me behind. Jacob was waiting in front of his house, when we pulled up.

"Hey, Bella." He said flatly, as I climbed out of my truck. I noticed right away that he was very different from how I remembered. For one thing, he was at least a whole foot taller than when I'd last seen him, a couple months ago. The muscles in his arms and chest were thick and defined, barely concealed by his too-small t-shirt. He'd chopped his hair short, and his face was much more chiseled, especially his strong jaw. The line of his jaw was particularly noticeable as he looked at me… Because he looked really angry at me, for some reason. He was almost _glaring _at me. I couldn't think of anything I'd done to him, to upset him so much… Unless he took my few months of isolation more personally than anyone else in town… No. He was almost shaking with anger. This was worse.

Trying to repair whatever damage I'd unknowingly caused to my friendship with Jacob, I tentatively walked forward and hugged his giant frame. I was startled by how hot he felt, and his reaction startled me even more. He tensed and… Did he just _growl_ at me? He began shaking even more and he pushed me away from him roughly. I started to fall, but someone caught me from behind. I looked up and recognized the same boy who had found me in the forest, three months ago. Did Charlie say his name was Sam Uley? Sam wasn't looking back at me, as he held me steady.

"Go, Jacob," He ordered in a surprisingly authoritative voice. This boy wasn't much older than me. A couple years, maybe. He was big, though. Roughly the same height as Jacob and maybe a little more muscular. He wore his hair cropped short, too, and his features were just as hard. His hands on my arms also felt hot, as he righted me. In fact, he looked angry, too. No. Not just angry… He finally looked down at me, when Jacob turned and ran off into the nearby forest, and he looked… Disgusted. _What did I do_?

"I'm not sure if you remember me, Bella," he said as he took a step back from me. "I'm Sam Uley. We met when you and your friends came to the beach, before. And I was the one who found you, that night… After the Cullens left?" I had opened my mouth to respond, but I clamped it shut at the tone of those last few words. After the Cullens left? Something about the way he said that made it sound like he was asking me… If they were still gone? For a moment, I panicked. How could he know that? Surely, he didn't. I was probably just being paranoid.

"I remember," I replied, a few seconds late. "Both times. I mean, I'd forgotten your name, but… Um… What's wrong with Jacob?" Probably not the best question to ask, but my fit of panic was making me babble like an idiot.

"He's been having some trouble with one of his friends, lately," Sam answered quickly. A little too quickly. He looked over in the direction Jacob had gone, and I instantly got the feeling that I was missing something… Something _big_. "He hasn't been talking to his old friend, Quil," I blinked when Sam continued in an even more casual tone. "There's just been some strain between them, and it's hard… He just needs to cool off. He'll be back." Cool off… That reminded me…

"Hey, are you and Jacob sick?" I asked. "I just noticed you both feel really warm… Do you two have a fever, or something?" Sam kept his face smooth, but, as if borrowing Jasper's extra sense, I could feel his sudden discomfort and… Was it alarm? Or fear? What was going on?

"Did you not see the smoke, Bella?" Sam asked after a short pause. He pointed up above the Black's house. I looked up and saw a tower of smoke that seemed to be rising from behind the house. "We have a little bonfire going, around back. Jacob and I were probably sitting a little too close, when we heard you pull up."

"Oh." Pathetic response, but that was all I could come up with, for the moment. My mouth simply refused to work right, when my head was spinning so fast. I was _definitely_ missing something. And it was probably going to make me as skittish as a rabbit on the freeway, the entire time I was here.

"Hey, Bella. Long time, no see." I turned to see Billy smiling at me. Charlie and Harry Clearwater were standing on either side of him, arguing about baseball, from the sound of it. Sam turned and jogged off, as soon as I was distracted. I frowned as I watched him run the same way as Jacob, but I walked over to Billy, trying to return his smile. He was, after all, the first person here to not look somehow revolted by my presence.

"Hi, Billy. Thanks for inviting us over," I added conventionally. I was usually pretty comfortable talking to Billy, but everything felt so awkward, now. Part of me wanted to think it was just me, reacting to all that's happened in the past two days: Those men attacking me, Jasper showing up to save me, Jacob's strange animosity… But another part of me balked at that idea. That rebellious, intuitive part of me told me Billy wasn't acting normal, either. He was making a better attempt at it than Jacob and Sam, but…

"Where did Jacob and Sam take off to?" Charlie asked Billy, looking concernedly in the direction of the forest both boys had run into. "It's not safe to be running around the forests, here, with that bear around. Another hiker turned up dead, last night, you know."

"They're probably just gathering a little more wood," Billy answered. "The fire in back is burning a little low. They'll be right back. They're tough boys, Charlie. They can fend for themselves pretty well."

"Well, I guess you're right, there," Charlie laughed. "What have you been feeding the boys around here? It seems like you can just stand and watch them grow. Your boy, Jake, shot up faster than any boy I've ever seen. Isn't he only sixteen?"

"Seventeen in a few more months," Billy laughed. "A lot of the boys around here are growing like that, though. Just wait until you see some of the others, in back. Who knows? Maybe it _is_ something in the water." Liar. He knows something…

Billy turned his chair around and Charlie pushed him along, as he led us around back. As we came around the last corner, I heard more voices: "Why don't you boys make yourselves useful and stand around the fire until the wind dies down a little," I heard Sue Clearwater saying. "You're all tall enough. Make a wall!" There was a round of laughter from many different people. When I could finally see all of them, the wind Sue was talking about tore through the little clearing, coming from behind me and making my hair whip across my face. As soon as I could see, again, I noticed three very tall boys glaring daggers at me. Great.

"I left my jacket in the truck, Dad," I said quickly, turning away from all the glares.

"You'll warm up by the fire, Bells," Charlie said brightly, oblivious to the hostility I was receiving.

"Me and open fires don't mix well, Dad," I said. "I might fall in and get burned. I'm going to get my jacket." Charlie just laughed as I turned and walked away, as did a few other people from around the fire. I doubted any of the huge boys were among them. Either way, I didn't turn back around to check. It was when I was standing next to my truck, pulling on my jacket, that I was hit by a tidal wave of déjà vu and intuition:

Standing by my truck… The van crash… The Cullens… Their hostility toward me… The people being killed, then… "Killed by some kind of animal…" Not an animal… Vampires… Nomads hunting in the area… Tricking Jacob into telling me about the Cullens… The treaty… Billy and some of the others knowing the truth about the Cullens… They knew that I knew… Sam Uley… "The Cullens don't come here…" The forest… "Have you _been_ hurt…" Jacob's hostility… The way all those other boys glared at me… "After the Cullens left…" The Quileutes know something Charlie doesn't… Vampires…

Before I registered what I was doing, I was climbing inside my truck and starting the engine. It roared to life, probably alerting everyone nearby that I was leaving, but I didn't care. I still couldn't make sense of what was happening to the boys around here, themselves. Everything else, though… This had something to do with vampires. All of it. I was sure of it. I needed to talk to Jasper. People were dying, because of what was happening, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that it had something to do with me… Again.

I couldn't believe how easily I remembered the way to the Cullens' house. After three months of struggling to bury so many painful memories in my mind, I found they hadn't even budged. Even in my own head, I fought like a weak little human. Well…At least that was the case when I was my own opponent. My mind was still undefeated by supernatural powers such as Edward's. I couldn't think about Edward, though. My mind was on Jasper. His powers could affect me, he was the only Cullen here, and he was the only one who could help me, now.

Jasper was on the front porch, when I pulled up to the house. I had expected as much. With his hearing, he could hear my truck coming from a mile away. When I started to get out of my truck, though, he suddenly sprang forward and landed in front of my door, slipping into a defensive crouch.

"Stay inside, Bella," he warned in a low growl. My heart skipped a beat.

"Is it the other vampires?" I whispered, knowing he could hear me, though I was still shut inside my truck. Jasper tensed even more.

"_Other_ vampires?" He demanded. I blinked. If he wasn't reacting like this to other vampires, what was…?

Wolves. Gigantic, horse-sized wolves. Five of them stalked forward, emerging from the trees. Four pairs of eyes were trained on Jasper. The fifth pair was on me. The second-largest of the wolves, one with russet colored fur, looked at me with such emotional eyes; I was momentarily entranced by them. In them was hurt, anger, fear, love, betrayal, friendship… And, all of a sudden, I knew:

The huge, hostile boys… Their strange growth and heat… The way they reacted to me… When they were close enough to _smell_ me… And I'd gone to La Push smelling like Jasper… They smelled a vampire on me, and vampires were killing people around here… The big, black wolf in the center had to be the 'bear' everyone was seeing... Not killing people, but trying to save them from the vampires… Because vampires, like the Cullens, were their enemies… The stories Jacob told me… Vampires _and_…

"Werewolves… Jacob!" I screamed and I tried to open my door. Jasper used one hand to effortlessly hold it shut, never taking his eyes off the advancing wolves. A warning growl rumbled in his chest. "JASPER, STOP!" I screamed. "Jacob, I know it's you!" I continued screaming, as I looked back up at the russet wolf. "Please, stop! Jasper didn't do anything! I know what's going on! PLEASE!"

The russet wolf stopped in its tracks and stared at me. The one bigger wolf, the black one, growled and looked back at him. They stared at each other for a moment. Then, the black wolf let out one sharp bark, and the whole pack of wolves stopped moving. Their eyes never left Jasper, though.

"Jasper, let me out," I said in a shaky voice. Jasper hesitated, but he straightened out of his crouch after a moment and helped me climb out of my truck. Tension was still visible in his body, though. He kept his eyes on the wolves and he held me close, as he spoke to me:

"What are you talking about, Bella?" He asked in a tight, but forced-gentle voice. I looked at the giant wolves staring at me with a human level of interest, and my confidence wavered. Jasper wrapped me in a wave of reassurance and security. He was determined to keep me safe. I looked squarely at the russet wolf.

"Jacob?" I asked. The wolf nodded its big head. A gray one let out a low growl and the black one growled back at it. Jasper's hold on me tightened and I felt the wave of calm he was beginning to project outward.

"Wait, Jasper," I told him. His dark gold eyes flickered down to me, then back up to the wolves. "You'll startle them. They probably don't know what you can do." The russet wolf whimpered. I looked up at him and I instinctively knew the whimper was a question.

"Jasper can feel and affect the emotions of others around him," I told Jacob and the other wolves. "He wants to calm you down a little, but I didn't want him to surprise you with it. He won't do anything but help you stay calm." I thought about asking him if that was okay, but I decided against that course of action. I was sure the wolves would say no, and I needed them calm. I nudged Jasper with my shoulder, signaling him to go ahead. The gray wolf growled again, but he stopped as soon Jasper's power reached him. I instantly felt relief that had nothing to do with Jasper.

"I didn't realize what was going on, until I saw you at your house," I began, looking back at the Jacob-wolf. "The hikers that have been turning up dead, these past few months… The 'bear' everyone is talking about doesn't exist, does it? They've been seeing you, haven't they?" Jacob inclined his head toward the black wolf beside him. The black wolf nodded. "But you aren't the killers?" Jacob shook his head. "You're trying to stop vampires that are killing those people?" Jacob nodded. I nodded, too.

"Jasper has only been here a few days," I said as firmly as I could manage. "And the Cullens don't feed on humans, anyway. Jasper has nothing to do with any of this. He probably doesn't even know what's going on," I said, and I looked up at Jasper. His eyes were finally on me, instead of the wolves. "Do you?" Jasper shook his head.

"I've only hunted a couple times, since I returned," he said. "And I've been staying very close, trying to keep an eye on you. I never came across any new scents…" I nodded and looked back at the wolves.

"You see," I said. I looked right into the Jacob-wolf's eyes, and I remembered his behavior, back at his house.

"Are you angry with me, because I tricked you into breaking the treaty and telling me about the Cullens?" I asked, "When you didn't know all those legends were true?" Jacob nodded. I bit my lip and felt my eyes tearing up as I realized just how much that must have hurt Jacob. "And because I stayed close to them, when I knew… When I know they're vampires?" Jacob's eyes flicked down to the arm Jasper still had around me and he whimpered. The tears in my eyes spilled over, but I also became a little angry, myself…

"Well, what about _you_?" I demanded in a stronger voice than I'd used, yet. "You're a _werewolf_? I wasn't the only one withholding, Jacob!"

"Careful, Bella," Jasper warned, and he threw out another strong wave of calm. My eyes didn't leave the russet wolf.

Jacob stared back at me with an expression I couldn't translate. Then, after a few seconds of ringing silence, the russet wolf walked slowly forward. Jacob walked in front of the other wolves and made his way around to the other side of my truck. Jasper continued to hold me fast and he watched Jacob closely. When Jacob was mostly obscured by my truck, his body started vibrating. I watched in awe as he collapsed, only to stand back up, a moment later, in human form. He didn't come back out from behind my truck, though. Was he trying to keep a barrier between him and Jasper? All the other wolves were certainly watching him fearfully.

"We all changed so fast, when we heard you leaving…" Jacob started to explain, sounding a little… Embarrassed? "Our clothes get shredded when we phase…" He let his voice trail off implicitly.

"Oh!" I gasped. It occurred to me, then, that I could only see Jacob from the chest up. He was definitely _shirt_less… For the first time in almost four months, I blushed as red as a traffic light. I saw Jacob's eyes snap up to Jasper's face, but my blush didn't seem to bother Jasper one bit. In fact, when I looked up at him, myself, he smiled at me.

"There's the Bella I remember," He said warmly. "Glad to see you're coming back."

"No thanks to you," Jacob growled. I turned back to him to see him glaring daggers at Jasper. "We're the ones who found her, you know. Your leech brother left her broken in the woods, and she still hasn't recovered! I still can't believe… What the hell is wrong with you, Bella?" Jacob suddenly turned his anger on me. "They left you! Every day, you risked your life to be near them, and they dropped you like a piece of trash, when they decided they were ready to move on with their parasite lives!"

"We did no such thing," Jasper said with amazing calm, though his voice was firm. "I understand your anger. I can _feel_ it, actually. You don't understand what really happened, though."

"By all means," Jacob said scathingly, "explain, bloodsucker."

"I assume you were all suspicious, when we brought Bella back from Phoenix in such bad condition?" Jacob gave a curt nod, in response. "That was the work of another vampire. The deaths happening around here, then, were the work of three nomads. Their names were James, Victoria, and Laurent. We ran into them, one night, when we had Bella with us. James was a tracker, a vampire with a special talent for hunting, and he chose to hunt Bella when he saw how protective of her we all were. The female, Victoria, chose to help him, while Laurent left them, in favor of trying to convert to… _Our_ lifestyle... We took Bella to Phoenix, in an effort to hide her, but James got to her anyway… We barely managed to bring her back alive. He even bit her…"

"What?" Jacob practically howled in outrage. The other wolves growled, too. I looked up at Jasper and he nodded. He helped me pull my jacket off, and I rolled up my right sleeve. I showed the scar on my hand to Jacob and the other wolves, provoking another round of growls. Jacob even started vibrating. Jasper looked directly at him and I felt the strong wave of calm he shot out.

"Stop that, leech!" Jacob snapped irritably, glowering at Jasper.

"Can you keep yourself from phasing, dog?" Jasper asked coolly.

"Yes," Jacob growled.

"Then, shall I continue?" Jasper asked in the same tone. Jacob swallowed something he was about to say and nodded, instead.

"Edward kept Bella from changing by sucking the venom back out of the wound, and Carlisle was able to tend to her other injuries," Jasper continued. "Edward… Loved Bella… And he was always concerned for her safety, as she was spending so much of her time around vampires, just to be with him. He _encouraged_ her to leave us and stay with other humans, like you… Like you _were_… After she was so nearly killed by the tracker, he decided _he_ had to be the one to end associations with her, for her safety… None of the rest of us wanted to leave Bella, though. None of the rest of us agreed with his decision, but we _respected_ it. When we left…" Jasper seemed to struggle with what he was saying, especially while speaking in this company.

"Listen to me, dog… Jacob," He finally spoke again, and his voice was dripping with unmistakable sincerity and contriteness. "I and the rest of my family had no idea of what, exactly, Edward was going to say to Bella, when we left. We had no idea what he was going to do… I only returned, alone, a few days ago. When I saw just what we'd done to Bella… When I saw the condition we'd so blindly left her in… Believe me when I say I have never seen, nor _felt_ anything so crippling. You have no idea how sorry I am… But, if you wish, I can let you feel it?" Jacob blinked, thrown by that offer.

"Fine," he said, after a moment. "There's no way we'll believe you, otherwise, leech. So, go ahead." Jasper nodded and he finally released me.

"Go sit on the stairs, Bella," Jasper told me, gesturing to front porch of his house behind us. "I want you out of range. I don't want you to feel this… Not yet. You're in no condition. I would like you to really understand, sometime, but you're hurting too much, right now. I don't want you feeling my pain on top of your own. Please." I couldn't really say no to an argument like that. I nodded and did as I was told, walking over to sit on the porch stairs. I watched as Jasper turned back to Jacob.

"Can you keep control?" Jasper asked him. "This won't be pleasant."

"For your sake, it had better not be pleasant," Jacob retorted acidly. "I'm fine, bloodsucker." Jasper nodded and, a moment later, Jacob tensed and all the wolves whimpered in unison. I almost whimpered, too, just seeing it happen. Jasper relented quickly.

"And that is the purest truth, Jacob," Jasper said in a soothing voice. I guessed that he was projecting calm, now, to help the others recover. "That is my actual, raw feeling about Bella... All of it."

Jacob looked convinced. He was no longer glowering at Jasper, and the other wolves looked distinctly less hostile, too, but… Why did Jacob look so… Hurt? Was he still feeling some of what Jasper projected to him? It was difficult to tell, but his expression did remind me…

"You never answered my question, Jacob," I said, standing up and walking back over to Jasper. He took one of my hands in his, when I reached him, and he gave it a light, reassuring squeeze. "You're upset with me, for all of this, but you didn't tell me you were a wolf, either. That seems like a bit of a double-standard, don't you think?"

"No," Jacob answered, looking me squarely in the eye. "I only changed two months ago," he said. "Even Embry didn't change until you got back from Phoenix." Jacob pointed at a caramel-colored wolf near him and the wolf lifted and dropped one paw. He was waving. I couldn't help but smile a little. "Paul and Jared only changed at about the time you moved here," Jacob continued. He pointed to the temperamental gray wolf and a chestnut brown wolf. "Sam changed when the Cullens first came back, here, a few years ago." Jacob pointed to the black wolf. That was Sam Uley. I guess that made sense. "The gene in our tribe that causes the change is only active when there are vampires around," Jacob explained. "It pretty much reacts accordingly: More vampires, more of us changing into wolves."

"But, what does that have to do with…?" I began.

"I haven't _seen_ you, since I changed, Bella," Jacob answered in a somber tone. "It would have been dangerous, anyway… We can't control out phasing as well, when we first change. The fact that I have this kind of control, now… _Especially_ this close to a vampire… That's really rare, Bella. And, even if it weren't for all that, I still_ couldn't_ have told you." Jacob looked over at the black wolf, again. Sam Uley.

"Sam is the alpha, in this pack," he said. "He… Controls it. We're forbidden, as it is, to reveal what we are to anyone outside of our immediate families. That's why I didn't believe all the stories were true, before. Then, the alpha can also make an injunction. Sam made a specific injunction for us to stay away from you, Bella. He wanted us to avoid you, because you already knew so much… I mean, technically, I already _did_ tell you… When I told you about the Cullens. I told you about vampires _and_ werewolves, but you only cared about one… Up until now, I _physically couldn't _go near you, Bella. No. It's not the same."

By this point, I was crying, again. "I'm so sorry, Jacob," I said. "I didn't know… I didn't understand. I never meant to hurt you, Jacob. You're my friend… You _were_ my best friend. I'm so sorry." Jacob and I just stared at each other for a moment, and then Jacob smiled. He smiled and he finally looked a little bit like the old Jacob I remembered.

"I still am your friend, Bella," he said. "I'm sorry, too." I smiled back at Jacob, thoroughly relieved. "After all," Jacob added, "it's not every day you find a girl who is so _completely_ okay with the fact that you change into a giant wolf." That made me laugh, outright. I had to be crazy. This _really _proved it. Everyone I cared about most, aside from my parents, was some kind of supernatural creature. Perfect.

"What about the other vampires?" Jasper asked suddenly, throwing ice water on my briefly lightened mood. "The ones hunting here, now?" Jasper and I both looked at each wolf, in turn, stopping on Jacob. His face was a hardened mask, again. He looked at the black wolf. The alpha. The wolf nodded.

"There are two," Jacob told me and Jasper. "A red-haired female and a black-haired male. The male hasn't been here very long. He came and joined the female, recently. They keep approaching at odd angles, changing their course... They run into hikers and kill them before we can help. We've chased them off a couple times, but they get away, and then they come right back. That female, in particular… She's really fast and unpredictable. If we could just figure out what she and the male are after… What?" Jacob asked anxiously, looking at me with worried eyes. That made sense. I knew I had to look deathly pale.

"It's Victoria and Laurent," I whispered. Jasper growled ferociously and I jumped.

"Damn that Laurent!" He growled. "Damn him straight to Hell! Not only did he leave Irina, but he came back _here_? He _and_ Victoria…" Jasper made Victoria's name sound like an expletive. "I knew we should have tracked her," he hissed venomously. "I knew we shouldn't have just let her go. She felt so close to James… Oh, no." A look of horrified realization came across Jasper's face and he looked down at me with wide eyes. "It's you," he said.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, already afraid and _really_ not liking where this seemed to be going. Jasper reached up and held my face tenderly in his hand. That did _not_ help the knot in my stomach.

"I didn't think about it, before, Bella," Jasper said softly, and I could feel the tension around me as Jacob and the other wolves hung on his every word. "When we first met James, Victoria, and Laurent… I could feel how strongly Victoria felt about James, but I just wrote it off as her being devoted to her coven… But, when Laurent left so easily… I should have seen it then, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Jacob suddenly snapped, the tension becoming too much for him. Jasper reluctantly looked away from my face, to look over at Jacob.

"I think James was Victoria's mate," he told Jacob.

"You mean…" Jacob began. Jasper nodded.

"You do understand," Jasper said gravely. A flash of confusion crossed Jacob's face. "I can feel what you're feeling," Jasper reminded him.

"But _I _don't understand," I said, recalling their attention. "What's going on, Jasper?" I pleaded, looking up at him. "Is… Is Victoria here for me?" Jasper nodded.

"I think so," he answered. "It goes deeper than finishing what she and James started, too, Bella. Our kind… We, generally, don't take losing our mates very well. If James was Victoria's mate, and _we_ killed James…"

"She wants revenge?" I asked. Jasper nodded, again. "And, because I'm the reason James fought you…?"

"She probably holds _all_ of us responsible, to some extent," Jasper said somberly, "but she probably intends to take it out on you… _If _she can." Jasper's earlier ferocity returned with those last three words.

"Not. Going. To. Happen." Jacob seethed, his fury also returning. The other wolves all growled in agreement. "We know what her target is, now," Jacob said. "That will help. And this male… Why did he come back? You said he wanted to try your… Diet. And what was that about someone named Irina?"

"Laurent went up to stay with a coven in Alaska, when he left James and Victoria," Jasper answered in an outraged growl. "They're close friends of ours, and the only other vegetarian vampires we know of. Irina is one of them… She and Laurent became… Close." Jacob made noise between a gag and a growl. Jasper nodded. "Apparently, Irina really doesn't mean all that much to him," Jasper hissed malevolently. "It would seem he's rejoined Victoria. He will be much easier to deal with, though. He clearly has commitment issues, and he doesn't have nearly as much motivation to harm Bella as Victoria does."

Even through all my fear, there was some awe. I remembered Jasper's story about his life, and I could _see_ it, now. I could see the soldier from the human Civil War and the southern vampire wars reemerging… And it gave me hope. My fear by no means disappeared, but it was kept in check by the fact that I had Jasper here with me. If nothing else, I had him.

"You need to go," Jasper said suddenly, snapping me out of my reverie. He was looking at Sam. That surprised me. Jasper looked down at me, feeling my reaction. "He's worried," Jasper explained. "Because you left La Push unattended?" Jasper asked Sam. The black wolf nodded once. "Go. Just focus on guarding the humans, for now," Jasper told him. "I'm going to call the rest of my family. I'll tell them they need to come back here, to help. Maybe I can even get our friends in Denali to come, too. We won't let Victoria and Laurent get away with this, anymore." Sam growled at the mention of more vampires coming, but he still nodded his big head. Then, Sam looked at Jacob.

"What about Bella?" Jacob asked, looking from Sam to Jasper. "What will you do with her, now?"

"I'll stay here, for the rest of the day," I spoke up, not liking being talked about like some helpless little baby. "Have Billy keep Charlie busy. No one else knows Jasper is back. We'll probably have to break that fact to Charlie eventually, especially if the others come back, too, but now's not the right time."

Jacob nodded in reluctant agreement and he looked Jasper squarely in the eye. "You hurt her, you burn. Got it, bloodsucker?" Jasper actually smiled at Jacob's threat.

"Bella is safe with me, mutt," he said. Jacob nodded and he started vibrating. A second later, human-Jacob was gone and the russet-colored wolf leapt out from behind my truck and ran off, along with the other four wolves. Jasper promptly swept me up into his arms and ran inside the house. He didn't put me back down until he'd locked the door behind us and activated the iron shields that came down to cover the glass wall.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked me once I was back on my feet. He took both of my hands in his and looked down into my eyes. My eyes, of course, betrayed me: I started to cry and, as everything had time to sink in, I started to shake. Victoria and Laurent were out there, again, hunting for me. Victoria was out for vengeance against me and all the Cullens. Jasper was back. I was back inside the Cullen house. Jacob was a werewolf. Jasper was going to call the rest of the Cullens back. Including Edward? Would he come? Would their friends form Alaska come? Either way, people were dying… And I was right. It all _did_ have to do with me… It was my fault.

"Bella, don't you _dare_ blame yourself for all this," Jasper growled as he felt my answer to his question, and he pulled me back into his arms, again. He carried me upstairs, pushing waves of calm, love, and caring into me as he went. It wasn't enough, though. Even with our physical contact strengthening his influence on me, it wasn't enough… Too much. My vision swam in and out, and then everything went black.


	7. Hope

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 7: Hope**

**A/N: Everyone who has left a review, favorited, and/or alerted, thank you so much for your support. It means more than you know. I, literally, do a little happy dance every time I see a new review in my inbox. :) Theme song for this chapter: "Fix You" by Coldplay.**

**Bella's POV:**

"Wait, Carlisle... I think she's coming out of it… Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Bella, open your eyes." The voice was familiar: Commanding, but kind. I knew I should listen, but I couldn't quite bring myself to open my eyes. My mind was too busy with other things to operate my body. I kept seeing images of Victoria: Her fiery hair, her wild eyes, her jerky movements… She was still hunting me. It was never going to end…

"Yes. Her breathing changed… More than anything, her emotions are sharper… They aren't all blurring together quite as much as before. Each one is becoming a little more distinct… Carlisle, her heart rate just jumped. Something is scaring her. Bella! Bella, listen to me! Open your eyes, right now!" Again, I tried. Again, I failed. Whoever was speaking to me shouldn't be near me. It was too dangerous. Victoria would hurt them, and then she would kill me…

"What was that? Carlisle, what did Esme say…? That makes sense… I'll try it. Bella, Victoria is _not_ going to hurt you. Neither will Laurent. We're going to make you safe again, Bella. You're safe. Bella, it's going to be okay. Come back, Bella. Come back to me _right now_, Bella. Wake up. Open your eyes." I was safe. I was safe? How was I safe? How was anyone I cared about safe? They weren't. And it was my fault…

"That almost worked... What else can I do?" The rich, commanding voice was sounding continually more anxious. "No. Carlisle, I already did that to her, once. I can't… If I keep putting her through emotional torture, like that, she's surely going to snap. I've made _vampires_ go mad, Carlisle! She's human! She's so… Breakable, and _already_ broken! If I hurt her…! Fine. I suppose I have no choice… Bella, if you can hear me, I'm so sorry…"

Fear and trust, love and hate, sadness and joy, giddiness and lethargy, calm and anxiety, excitement and wariness, anger and adoration, disgust and lust, restlessness and contentment, annoyance and amusement, anguish and ecstasy… I screamed and my eyes flew open.

"Bella!" Jasper dropped the phone in his hand and pulled me into his lap, cradling me against his chest. Instead of using the physical contact to amplify his influence, he cut off the flood of emotions abruptly. He didn't even send waves of calm into me. He didn't use his power at all. He just held me and murmured a stream of soft apologies: "I'm sorry, Bella. You weren't waking up, and nothing else Carlisle suggested was working. I had to bring you out of it, somehow. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that to you, again. It's cruel… I'm sorry... I'm so glad you're okay, though… Bella, please say something. Bella?" Jasper shook me gently. My sluggish human mind took a moment to catch up.

"Carlisle?" That was the first word I could manage, and my voice still cracked. "Carlisle told you…? What…?" I was confused, but Jasper laughed. His beautiful, deep voice was dripping with relief.

"I'll explain everything, Bella," He said warmly. "Wait a moment…" Jasper shifted me slightly in his lap and leaned over to pick up the cellphone he'd dropped. "Carlisle? Did you hear all that?" He asked into the phone. "Yes, I think she's alright, now. I'll tell her the plan… What? Oh, good point… Alright. I'll see you soon, Carlisle." Jasper snapped the phone shut and looked into my eyes, surely seeing the hundred-and-one questions there.

"I have to feed you, first," He said, smiling down at me. "Doctor's orders. I will answer any other questions you have, after you eat something." Somehow, the familiar human joke woke me up enough to roll my eyes.

"Fine," I grumbled. "What kind of pet food do you still have in this place?" Jasper laughed as he helped me up.

"Unfortunately, not much. It's been months, after all, so there isn't much fresh food left."

"I'm not picky," I replied, earning another chuckle from Jasper.

Once in the kitchen, I found some frozen waffles in the freezer and I plugged in the never-used toaster to thaw them. Jasper continued to lighten my mood, even without the use of his power, when he made a face at my food choice.

"I know, I know," I grumbled. "It's no mountain lion or irritable grizzly."

"Not by a long shot," Jasper chuckled, still looking at the pitiful excuse for human food like it was poisonous…

"Bella, what happened?" Jasper asked when he felt the sudden shift in my emotions. I was a little surprised when he didn't send out a wave of calm to me. "What's wrong, now?" He still didn't use his power, but he took a couple steps closer to me. I closed my eyes and took a moment to calm myself, before I answered him:

"Sorry, that was stupid of me," I started to explain. "Making hunting jokes like that… It just made me think of Edward… And Emmett." I couldn't stop the fleeting involuntary smile that came to my lips with that afterthought. Trying to picture Emmett fighting with a bear was still funny, to me. Letting myself think of any of the Cullens, apart from Jasper, though… I wasn't entirely sure if the flashes of happiness were worth the horrible ache that followed close behind. Jasper groaned.

"My stupid, pigheaded brother," he half-growled. "Why did he have to do this to you…? That ache in your chest, the knot in your stomach, that hole inside you that makes me worry your fragile body is going to collapse in on itself… Feeling it is enough to drive _me_ out of my mind, and you've been felling it for _months_…" Oops. I was hurting Jasper, again. I struggled to rein in my emotions, but it was an uphill battle.

"Jasper, can you help me?" I asked him, knowing he'd know what I meant. "I don't want to keep hurting you, and I really need to be able to focus, right now." Surprise flickered across Jasper's face, but he complied with my request and sent gentle waves of calm into me until I could collect myself. I breathed a sigh of relief and Jasper chuckled in amazement.

"I can't believe you still want me to affect you," he said incredulously. "After what I've done to you, _twice_ now, you should be _afraid_ of my influence."

"Well, I'm not," I shrugged dismissively. "You did what you had to do, to help me, Jasper. I can't fault you for that." Jasper still looked incredulous, but he let the matter drop and smiled warmly at me. My heart fluttered. Edward never would have let me win a 'you should be afraid of me' argument, so easily! He would have stubbornly argued his side until he realized I wasn't giving up, at which point he would have dazzled me, to make me forget about it. Jasper also dazzled me with that smile, of course, but it wasn't a tactic for him. It was just… Beautiful.

Once I was sure I wasn't going to fall to pieces, I took my waffles into the dining room and sat down. Jasper followed me and sat down in the chair next to me. I took a bite of my food, buying a little more time, and I looked out the back windows. It was still light outside, but it was difficult to judge the time of day, beyond that. "How long was I out?" I kept my first question simple. "What time is it?"

"It's Noon, give or take a few minutes," Jasper answered promptly. "You were out for just under two hours."

"Two _hours_?" I repeated. "No wonder Carlisle was worried about me. Sorry, Jasper."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he replied. "Carlisle told me it was your mind's way of protecting itself. That was a lot for you to take in, in a very short time… _I'm_ the one who owes _you_ an apology, Bella. We should never have let Victoria go free. Even _Laurent_…" Jasper's voice was lost to a furious growl. "Irina wasn't too pleased to hear about his involvement."

"Irina?" I asked attentively. "You told your friends in Denali what happened?" Jasper gave me a bracing look and the air got a little harder to breathe. This couldn't be good. Jasper reached out and took my hand.

"Easy, Bella," he soothed. "It's going to be okay, but… As I told the wolves I would, I asked everyone to come back down here, including the Denalis: Eleazar, Carmen, Tanya, Kate, Irina, and the rest of our family. Edward wasn't around, when I called. Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie are going to see if they can find him. They will come down in three days, whether they're successful in their search or not. Emmett is going to bring our friends down here tomorrow."

"When the wolves were here," I began, "you said Laurent and Irina got… 'Close'. Laurent is Irina's mate?" Jasper's brow wrinkled in disgust, but he nodded. His expression, then, turned to one of concern, in response to the fear and anxiety that shot through me. "She wouldn't…" I stammered nervously, "I mean, would she…? If something happens with Laurent… If he gets hurt, will she be angry with the wolves? Or me?" My voice cracked on that last word, and I realized I was shaking slightly. I didn't even see Jasper move, but I was suddenly sitting in his lap. He hugged me to his chest and stroked my hair soothingly.

"Bella, Irina would never hurt you!" He said. "_No one_ will hurt you, Bella. You're going to be okay. Yes, Laurent is Irina's mate, but we're her family. We're the closest thing they have to family, anyway. She won't hurt you, and we won't let her harm the wolves. Irina and the others are all coming down here because they _want_ to help. Bella, do you understand that? We _all_ want to help you. Even Rosalie." That surprised me.

"Rosalie?" I prodded feebly.

"I've been updating Alice on your condition, since I came down here, remember?" Jasper asked me. I nodded into his chest, not looking up to meet his eyes. "She filled everyone else in. As I expected, Rosalie is less-than-happy with Edward, right now."

"Oh." A pitiful answer, but the best one I could manage. Jasper just held me in his arms until I was able to form another coherent thought: "Should I call Jacob and tell him when everyone is coming?" I asked. "So he can warn the other wolves?" I felt Jasper tense slightly, at the new subject, but he loosed a resigned sigh and rested his chin lightly on the top of my head.

"That's probably a good idea," he conceded. "I can't honestly say I'm thrilled with the idea of working with that pack, but there's really no avoiding it, and they _are_ your friends." Jasper shifted under me and he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. He offered it to me readily, but I had to take a steadying breath, before accepting it. He rubbed soothing circles into my back as I dialed the Blacks' home number. I wasn't prepared to hear Charlie's voice answer:

"Hello?" He asked lightly. It almost sounded like he'd just been laughing. I froze. Jasper quickly grabbed the phone from my hand.

"Hey, is Jacob there?" I jumped slightly at the sound of Jasper's voice. It _wasn't_ his voice. His voice wasn't rich and velvety smooth as he spoke, but sharp and a little jarring. I realized he was trying to sound like one of the boys from the reservation, one of Jacob's friends. He was doing a pretty good job of it, too. He held the phone back to my ear fast enough that I heard Charlie's completely unsuspicious reply:

"Yeah, hold on. Jake?" He called. There was some noise in the background, and then I heard Jacob's voice. He sounded tired:

"Yeah?" He half-groaned.

"Jake, it's Bella," I said, "but don't say my name. Charlie doesn't know it's me. Jasper spoke to him."

"Be…! I mean… Crap, hang on a sec," he whispered that last part. There was some more noise in the background. Jacob didn't speak again for almost a full minute.

"Sorry, Bella," he said. "I was just telling my dad to get Charlie out of hearing range. Our one phone doesn't move, you know. Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Jake," I said, trying to sound calm and confident. "Not really. I just thought the pack would want to know when the rest of the Cullens are coming?" Jacob murmured something that sounded vaguely like an unintelligible stream of expletives.

"Yeah," he grumbled coolly. "Shoot." I quickly relayed Jasper's explanation to Jacob, leaving out the more personal details.

"Shit," Jacob growled one clear expletive. It was jarring, coming from him. "_Eleven_ leeches? _Twelve_, if Edward comes back?" Even Edward's name sounded like a swearword.

"Stop calling them that!" I was shooting for scolding, but my voice didn't come out quite strong enough.

"Whatever, Bella," Jacob grumbled petulantly. "I need to phase, to pass all that on to the others. You sure you're okay, over there?"

"I'm fine, Jacob," my voice came stronger, that time. Jacob's bad mood was contagious, even through the phone. "I am absolutely _fine_ with Jasper. Just tell the rest of the pack not to attack my… The others, when they come, okay?" Jacob grumbled something unintelligible, again, and he hung up without another word. I snapped Jasper's cellphone shut with a frustrated sigh.

"Some friend you have, there," Jasper's voice was thick with sarcasm as he took his phone back and pocketed it.

"_That_ wasn't my friend," I sighed, again. "Jacob was always kind and light-hearted, if a bit naïve. He's changed."

"Into a wolf," Jasper agreed, but the biting tone of his voice was gone. I laughed half-heartedly. I still had yet to look Jasper in the eye, since he pulled me into his lap, earlier. He turned me in his lap and took my face in both of his hands, lifting gently until I finally met his gaze.

"You started to tell Jacob to warn the wolves not to attack your 'family', but you wouldn't say the word," he said softly, tenderly. "Do you still believe we don't love you, that way?"

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly, my voice a breath above a whisper. "I… I'm not worth it. I mean, think about it: It really wasn't all that long ago that you had to save me from James. You, alone, have been back here for a week, and now you're trying to protect me from Laurent and Victoria. And that's just vampires! You already had to save me from those men, in Port Angeles! Edward did, too! He also saved me from being killed by that van! Maybe it's about time we all just accepted that I'm supposed to die! Stop trying to save me!"

"No, Bella," Jasper growled. I opened my mouth to argue, but his finger on my mouth stopped me. I felt my heart skip a beat at the touch, and I briefly forgot what I was trying to say. "Stop," Jasper commanded firmly, his cool finger still on my burning lips. I found myself struggling not to tremble.

"I love you, Bella." My heart fluttered at the phrase, but flopped at the follow-up: "Our whole family loves you." Leave it to the stupid human to get all worked up for no reason. "I'm sure our friends will love you, too. Just wait until you meet them, tomorrow. We _are_ going to save you, Bella. We won't let you die." My heart skipped another beat, but I was quick to mentally scold myself: That's _not_ what he meant! Stupid human, stupid lamb!

"Bella!" I jumped at the change in Jasper's voice. No longer soft and reassuring, it became exasperated and commanding: "Stop doing this to yourself! You _are_ worth it. Our whole family _does _love you, and… If Edward, somehow, doesn't love you anymore… He's an idiot." I took a moment to process that, while Jasper waited somewhat patiently. I tried to process what his words meant, but my mind was refusing to let me hope. Jasper removed his finger from my lips, to let me speak, but that didn't help at all. I almost whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Bella," Jasper whispered vehemently, tenderly reaching back up to lightly brush the corner of my mouth with his cool thumb. "I can feel what you're feeling. I was hesitant to bring it up; afraid you might just be clinging to me because I'm all you have here, right now. Alice told me she and I would _both_ find someone else, though. I didn't expect it to be you. I doubt even Alice expected it, but… I think that might be the case. I understand if it's too fast for you, but I think… I _am_ falling in love with you."

Jasper paused again, waiting for me to speak, but all I could manage was a soft whimper. The thumb he'd been holding to my mouth ghosted along my cheekbone until his whole hand cupped my cheek. His other hand tentatively stroked my right arm, gliding down until his fingertips touched my bite scar. His fingers traced the crescent shape while his eyes held mine.

"She loved me for the dangers I had passed," he quoted with breathtaking feeling, "and I loved her that she did pity them."

"Othello," I whispered. Jasper nodded.

"Your scent was on the book, last night," he said. "It's the first time you've so much as touched any of your books in a while. I was curious. I didn't particularly like that you were only reading the death scene… Please don't tell me your heart can't be saved. I want to save it. I want to love you."

"By 'saving' my heart, you mean…"

"Bella, please don't. That's not what I'm talking about… If you still want to be changed…"

"Don't," I whimpered, pulling back a little from Jasper's hand. His hand on my face dropped, but he still held my scarred hand. "Please don't promise me anything. I don't… I can't let myself…"

"Hope?" Jasper asked softly. I nodded feebly. "I know what that feels like, Bella," he said, "and not just because I can feel what you're feeling, now. You remember my story, don't you?" I nodded, again. "I was afraid to hope, too, Bella. Alice helped me, though. She helped me learn to hope, again. Now, it's my turn to help you."

Jasper reached up and stroked my cheek, again. He brushed some of my hair away from my face, and then his fingers glided down my jaw. His hand stopped when his thumb grazed my lips, and I gasped at the jolt of electricity that shot through me. "I felt that, too, Bella," he said, smiling lovingly at me. His fingers traced my mouth teasingly, lightly caressing the cupid's bow of my upper lip and applying a little more pressure when he reached the center of my bottom lip, parting my lips ever-so-slightly.

"May I kiss you, Bella?" He asked me. I was surprised to actually hear his voice crack with emotion. Speech was completely beyond me, at this point, so I forced myself to nod once. Edward had been so afraid, the first time, but Jasper seemed okay. He didn't seem worried about his control, at all. Nonetheless, I held perfectly still as he leaned in. He gently cupped my head in both his hands, and I gasped when he kissed my forehead, first. His icy lips were there for less than a second. My eyes fell closed and he took full advantage, pressing his marble-smooth lips to my eyelids in feather-light kisses.

"Jasper," I whimpered, and that was all it took.

Jasper's lips claimed mine in a gentle, loving kiss. Fireworks went off in my eyes, and my heart pounded in time with each explosion. My hands moved of their own accord and my fingers were suddenly tangled in Jasper's hair. For a moment, I froze, waiting for him to stiffen and push me away… He did the opposite. He deepened the kiss, his arms moving down to capture my waist and pull me tighter against him. He held me tighter than Edward ever had, but he didn't hurt me. I started to feel a little light-headed and Jasper only broke the kiss to let me breathe. The look he gave me made me blush ten shades of red.

"That was…" I began. My struggle to form a coherent sentence was cut short, though. Jasper's phone buzzed and I jumped, making him laugh. Just that easily, my mind recovered:

"Alice?" I asked, "Would she have seen that?" Jasper frowned slightly.

"I'm not sure," he said as he pulled the phone out of his pocket. He shook his head. "I don't recognize the number." He flipped the phone open and raised it to his ear: "Hello? Jacob?" If my heart skipped any more beats, today, it was going to forget how to work, altogether. "Oh. Thank you." At least Jasper _attempted_ to be civil. "I'll take care of it."

"What was that about?" I asked when he snapped the phone shut.

"You're father is on his way home," he answered. I nodded, understanding.

"I need to get back."


	8. Power Play

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 8: Power Play**

**A/N: I'm so happy with the response I got for the last chapter. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this update. It's another steamy one. It's still in Bella's POV, for now. Theme song for this chapter: "Breathe Me" by Sia.**

Jasper let me drive back home. He didn't even push to ride with me. He did, however, tell me he was going to run ahead of me, just to be sure the way was safe. That was acceptable enough: Protecting me while giving me some privacy. I was grateful. Though I was more able to focus, now, my mind was still reeling from that kiss. I still didn't really know what to make of it. It made me feel so good; so loved. The hole in my chest wasn't quite so painful, now. It was still there, but the once ragged edges had smoothed out and no longer festered and burned. The hole was healing, but it wasn't gone. I still loved Edward… Didn't I?

Yes. The answer became clear to me as I thought of what excuse I would give Charlie, for leaving the party in La Push: Sam Uley. Seeing him reminded me of the night he found me in the woods, where Edward left me. The second I let that memory fill my mind, the familiar ache in my chest throbbed. I still missed Edward. I still loved him, but… Did I also love Jasper? I thought of all he'd done for me, in just these past few days. I thought of his terrible past, his newfound control, the way he treated me more like an equal than Edward ever had, the way he kissed me, and I couldn't deny the answer: Yes.

This was seriously screwed up.

By the time my decrepit truck got me home, I'd rehearsed what I was going to say to Charlie several times over… I only hoped Jasper was ready to play along. "Jasper?" I called out to him softly, knowing he would be close enough to hear me. Sure enough, Jasper was sitting in the passenger seat of my truck, before I could blink. "Come in with me," I told him before he could start asking questions. "I have an idea. Just play along, okay? And keep Charlie calm, please. He's not going to like this…"

"Anything you want, Bella," Jasper reassured me, taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze. My heart fluttered at the touch and he smiled at me. "I'm with you," he promised. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey, Bells. Where've you been?" Charlie greeted me casually enough when I opened the door. I didn't respond right away, but led Jasper into my living room, where Charlie was watching TV. Charlie's eyes widened when he saw Jasper. He didn't seem to recognize Jasper, though. He just seemed shocked that I'd brought someone over, much less a male someone.

"Sorry, Dad," I began. "I tried to call you a little while ago, but Jacob said you already left." Charlie wasn't even looking at me. "Dad, this is Jasper Hale. He's one of the Cullens, but I don't think you ever really met…"

"One of the Cullens?" Charlie repeated, sounding somewhere between shocked and furious. Jasper was quick to intervene: I felt a strong wave of calm wash throughout the room, and he took a step forward.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Chief Swan," he said, extending his hand to Charlie. "Of course, I do wish the circumstances were better."

"Yeah, I bet you do," Charlie grumbled. He shook Jasper's hand, but the exchange was curt and cool in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature of Jasper's skin.

"Dad, would you please let me explain _before_ you contemplate reaching for your gun?" I pleaded. Charlie rolled his eyes slightly, but he turned to me expectantly. I took a deep breath and dove into my monologue:

"I'm sorry I ran out on the party without talking to you, but it was harder for me to be there than I expected. When I ran into Sam Uley, in particular, it just reminded me of that night in the woods…" I paused just long enough to check Charlie's reaction. He frowned sadly and nodded once. I plowed on before my rehearsed speech could be interrupted: "So, I left, but I didn't really know where to go. I didn't want to just go home, so… I thought I would drive up to the Cullens' house for a minute. I thought it might help me clear my head a bit, but… I expected it to be empty."

"So, you had no idea they were back?" Charlie interjected skeptically.

"He, dad," I corrected. "No. I had no idea _he_, Jasper, was back here. When I got up there, though… He could tell I was upset, and he asked me if I wanted to talk about it. That's all we've been doing this whole time: Talking. Catching up."

"Are you living in that house, alone?" Charlie turned his suspicious gaze on Jasper. I jumped on that one as fast as I could:

"Easy, Dad. He's nineteen," I began. Jasper remained silent. Even if Charlie was, somehow, not seeing right through me, Jasper could tell I was struggling to keep to a mental script. "He, Rosalie, and Emmett graduated last year. Jasper didn't enroll in college, right away, because he was planning to wait one more year and start with Alice. He and Alice recently broke up, though…"

"Broke up?" Charlie interrupted, again. "You mean…?"

"Yes, Dad," I tried to interject just a little exasperation into my voice. "Alice was with Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie are together. You know that. Alice talked to you about it, before."

"I guess she did," Charlie grumbled.

"It wasn't a rough break-up, Sir," Jasper suddenly jumped in. I guessed he was reacting to something he felt from Charlie. "It ended on good terms, but… I just thought I would give her a little more space. I decided I wanted to move back down here for a while, and my parents consented. I only arrived a few days ago." Charlie looked at me, for confirmation of Jasper's words, and all I could do was nod mutely. My mental script had been put through a shredder. I had no clue what to say, anymore. Thankfully, Jasper was ready to take over:

"Sir?" He spoke softly, at first, to reclaim Charlie's attention. I looked up at him and saw a mask of perfect contriteness on his beautiful face. "We had no idea what Edward was going to say to Bella, when we left. The rest of my family and I… We never would have knowingly left Bella alone in the woods, like that. I can't believe my brother did such a thing. Yes, we all had to leave quickly, but Edward was cruel in how he handled the situation. He could have tried to maintain his relationship with Bella, in spite of our departure. That was what Alice, Emmett, and I recommended. I am so very sorry for the pain our leaving caused. Again, I implore you to believe we had no knowledge of it. I'm sure any other member of my family would attest to that."

Charlie seemed to be at a loss for words. It probably didn't help that the air was thick with the sincere emotions Jasper was projecting. It was almost making _me_ dizzy. After a moment, the flow of emotions let up slightly and Charlie collected himself enough to resume his interrogation. Jasper's influence still lingered, though, and Charlie's tone of voice was much softer:

"So... How long will you be living here, alone, Jasper?"

"Not long, Sir," Jasper responded promptly. "Not alone, I mean. The job Carlisle took isn't working out so well, after all. He, Esme, and Alice are going to move back down here within the week. I'm not sure what Edward will do. He tested out of high school early, you see, and he moved out a month or so ago. We haven't heard much from him…"

"Even ditched his own family, huh?" Charlie probably didn't mean for that comment to be audible. His lips barely moved, but I still heard him, and that meant Jasper heard him _very _clearly. We both pretended otherwise, though.

"I think Emmett and Rosalie are going to at least drop by, too," Jasper continued. "Like Bella, they're on winter break for a few more days, and Emmett has been missing Bella. I'm sure he'll want to come see her… If that's acceptable, Sir?"

I didn't even have to look at Jasper. I didn't have to see the look of staggered awe on Charlie's face. Just the slight change in Jasper's voice told me what was happening. The sound made my knees weak. Jasper was dazzling Charlie.

"Erm… Yeah, I guess that's okay… Alright, Jasper, I'll believe you, but…" And I thought _I_ was a dazzling push-over. Charlie didn't stand a chance.

"But, what, Sir?" Jasper asked in a bone-melting, perfectly innocent voice. It was a kill-strike. My human ears couldn't even decipher Charlie's garbled response. I think Edward's name was mentioned, but that was all I could pick out.

"I'll see to it, personally, Chief Swan," Jasper answered whatever question I missed. "You have my word." I was so absorbed in what was happening between Jasper and Charlie; I didn't even notice Jasper was reaching for me until his hand on my back made me jump. That was when the shot of lethargy hit.

"Bella, you're dead on your feet," Jasper laughed softly when I suddenly fell back into him. He caught me and held me up, but the increased physical contact only made the lethargy worse. "I really should go, now. You need to rest. You've had a rough day."

"Jasper, it's not even two o'clock!" I argued automatically, instinctively struggling against his influence. "And I… I drove you here! I have to take you back to your place!"

"Not a chance, Bella," Jasper chuckled, again. "You're much too tired to drive." I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from shouting back 'thanks to you!' Jasper seemed to sense that. The lethargy increased.

"Stop that!" I hissed as quietly as I could.

"I can walk, Bella," Jasper continued, ignoring my protests. "I'll be fine."

"I can give you a ride, Jasper," Charlie offered. I froze. My mind was finally catching up with my body, and I realized this was Jasper's goal.

"I appreciate the offer, Chief Swan, but I don't want to impose," Jasper began. "I don't mind walking back."

"Nonsense, Jasper," Charlie laughed a little too freely. I didn't feel anything but lethargy and calm pouring out of Jasper, but he was clearly affecting Charlie, too, and in a very different way. Was that really possible? "It's no trouble at all," Charlie continued brightly. "You go ahead and take a nap, kiddo," he said to me. "You really do look tired." Jasper reined in the force of his power a little and he nudged me lightly. I took the hint.

"Alright," I yawned. I turned to face Jasper directly. "Talk to you later?" Even I wasn't sure if I was actually asking him to stay or just keeping to our little ruse. He smiled down at me, clearly amused.

"Of course," he said, and he pulled me into a brief hug, still playing to Charlie. "It's been a pleasure seeing you again, Bella. I truly hope my family and I can fix this mess we've left you in. We've missed you." If I wasn't so ridiculously tired, I probably would have melted on the spot. As it was, I forced a smile and trudged upstairs without another word, stumbling twice along the way. I flopped down on my bed and I was asleep before I even heard the cruiser pull out of the driveway.

* * *

I walked toward the towering pillar of smoke, pulled to it by some invisible force. My heart was pounding furiously and there was a knot in my stomach the size and weight of a cannon. I tried to move faster. I tried to run, but it felt like I was running in soft sand. I was so human. I was so weak… And I couldn't shake the feeling that someone I loved was going to die because of it.

When I reached the pillar of smoke, I saw it was coming from a massive bonfire in the bottom of an enormous, deep pit. My stomach turned sickeningly when I noticed the dismembered arms and legs of some unknown vampires littering the floor around the fire, trying to squirm away from the heat of their own volition. More important than that, though, were the still intact vampires clinging to the edge of the pit: Jasper, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett… And Edward.

Why weren't they pulling themselves up?! Why were they all looking at me?! I couldn't understand. "Bella!" Jasper called out to me. "Bella, you have to help us! Please!"

"Bella, no!" Edward called out to me, then. "Bella, stay away! Go away! Forget about us!"

"Bella, don't listen to him!" Alice screamed. "We need you! Please, Bella!" I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I _could_ do. My heart was trying to beat its way right out of my chest and tears were streaming down my cheeks, warmed by my proximity to the fire.

"Bella!" Jasper called out to me, again. I looked at him, but his mouth wasn't moving. "Bella!" His voice was urgent, but soft. His mouth still didn't move. I suddenly felt cold, though the fire was still raging. I started to shake. "Bella, wake up! It's just a dream, Bella. Wake up!"

I wasn't shaking. Jasper was shaking me. I was cooling off because he was sitting next to me, on my bed. My bed. My house. My room. It was just a dream. My heart was still pounding furiously, though. I automatically looked at Jasper's eyes. It was twilight outside, and there was still enough light in the room for me to see how black his eyes were. He really had improved his control. "Bella, are you alright?" He asked softly, probably keeping his voice down for Charlie's sake. His brow was furrowed with concern.

"Yeah, fine." I mumbled, pushing myself up into a sitting position. Jasper didn't move or speak, waiting for me to collect myself and fully awake. I couldn't tell if he was helping me calm down or not, but I was able to quickly shove that dream into the back of my mind and focus on him. "What was that all about?" I grumbled. I realized too late that I probably sounded really stupid, not even referencing what _I _was talking about. Jasper understood, of course, but I still couldn't stop blush that flashed through me. Jasper just smiled.

"Yes, I am sorry about that, but it was necessary," he began. "It wasn't really your fault. Somehow, you've become a slightly better liar, since we left. Your father was still very uncomfortable, though, and I wanted to do something more than merely affect him. My power does wear off, after all. I thought we should embed a seed of trust in his mind, too, so I manipulated the situation so that I could be alone with him. By driving me back up to my house, Charlie not only saw our home with his own eyes, but being able to speak to me without worrying about your reaction gave him the illusion of some control."

"I don't really like the sound of that," I said slowly. "What, exactly, did you two talk about?" Jasper frowned at me, but he was still quick to answer:

"Edward, mainly. It was what I expected. That's why I wanted you to allow it. Your father was able to vent some of the feelings I could feel him struggling to hold in, without hurting you. He needed that release, but you didn't need the pain. I'm sorry if I was a little too forceful, but do you understand my reasoning, Bella?" I was almost lost in the swirling onyx pools that were Jasper's eyes. He wasn't quite dazzling me, but he was pleading with me to understand. I nodded and he relaxed a little. Of course I understood… That. Something else was bothering me:

"When you were making me sleepy, you simultaneously made Charlie… Enthusiastic…? I didn't know you could do that." Jasper suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Neither did I," he said. For a moment, I froze.

"What are you saying?" I finally asked, once I collected myself. "You've never done that before? Not during that century of fighting, or the decades with Alice…?"

"Never," Jasper said, shaking his head. He had to be telling the truth. He looked very troubled by what we were discussing. "I can _sense_ emotions from multiple people, at once, but I've never been able to project completely different emotions to completely different targets, like that…"

"Can you do it, again?" I whispered. Jasper shook his head.

"I tried, a few minutes ago. You were asleep and your father was in close enough proximity… I experimented with a few different, subtle emotions, but I wasn't able to split my influence, again. I could only affect both of you with the same emotion, at the same time… Bella?" I almost jumped when Jasper snapped out of his thoughtful daze and addressed me directly.

"Yes?" I whispered warily.

"When I mentioned the Volturi, before, I was surprised that you seemed to already know about them, but I didn't press the subject. I'm curious, now, though: What do you know about them?" I was briefly thrown by the subject change, but I tried to answer somewhat coherently:

"They were briefly mentioned when Edward told me Carlisle's story," I began. "Those three in the painting?" Jasper nodded.

"The three elders. Aro, Caius, and Marcus," he offered.

"Right," I nodded. "Then, Edward mentioned them again, shortly before you all left. We were watching _Romeo and Juliet_… And, at some point, the subject of what he would have done if James had succeeded in killing me came up. He said…" My throat was suddenly tight. This was going to be difficult. I reached out and took Jasper's hand before he could reach for me, himself. He instantly sent waves of ease through our joined hands. I took a deep breath and continued: "He said suicide is much easier for humans than vampires, but that would have been his plan… Suicide. I told him that was absolutely ridiculous, but… Anyway, he said these Volturi are kind of like the vampire equivalent of a royal family, and that you don't want to upset them. You're story made me understand that, even more, of course..." I gave up on trying to explain more than that. It was too difficult to think about, and the look on Jasper's face told me he understood.

"No wonder you threw out _Romeo and Juliet_," Jasper almost growled, shaking his head in apparent disbelief.

"I used to love it," I whispered. "Now, I hate it. It all just strikes a little too close to home… I can't let myself think about it."

Then, don't." He said, squeezing my hand lightly. I was struggling not to cry, at his point, and he could surely feel it. "Please. I'm sorry I brought that into your mind at all. I only mentioned the Volturi, because…" Jasper hesitated for a moment, and that frightened me. "Don't," he said, again. He sighed and looked me straight in the eye. "You don't need to be afraid, but there's something you should know about Eleazar."

"One of your friends from Denali?" I asked. "The ones coming tomorrow?" Jasper nodded.

"He used to be one of the Volturi guard," He said. "He left them when he found Carmen, and they found Tanya, Kate, and Irina soon after that. One thing you don't seem to know about the Volturi, Bella, is that many of them are extremely gifted and talented… Among them is a tracker named Demitri, for instance. James was nothing, compared to him. Then, there are Jane and Alec. They truly are brother and sister; twins. Jane can make even a vampire collapse in excruciating pain, just using her mind. Then, there's Alec: He can cut of senses. It's like he and Jane are opposites, in their gifts: Jane makes you feel the worst pain imaginable and Alec makes you feel absolutely nothing. Of the elders, Marcus can sense relationships and Aro's gift is similar to Edward's, with one key difference: Edward can hear the present thought's of everyone within about one-hundred yards of him. Aro can only hear the thoughts of one person at a time, and he needs physical contact, but, unlike Edward, Aro can hear every thought you've ever had, all within a matter of minutes."

"Wait a minute," I said, holding up my free hand. Hearing all this was only making me more nervous, but my curiosity was also piqued. "If Aro's gift is like Edward's, would I be immune to his power, too?" Jasper surprised me by smiling faintly.

"That's exactly where I'm going with this, Bella," he said. "Eleazar is gifted, too. He can sense the gifts of other vampires, and even some humans. It's very rare, you see, for a dormant power to show itself in a human. Typically, you find cases like mine: As a human, I found it easy to manipulate the feelings of those around me, but it was nothing like what I can do, now. It wasn't so much a literal power, but a certain charisma I had. I've been thinking, though… Finding you was a disturbing shock to us, in more ways than one. The way your blood tempted Edward was bad enough, but we were also afraid of the fact that you were immune to one of our powers. We'd never heard of such a thing, much less encountered it, ourselves…" Jasper trialed off momentarily, probably feeling the laughter coming.

"_What_?!" I laughed incredulously. "_You_ were afraid of _me_?! _All _of you?!" Jasper sent a wave of calm out to subdue my laughter, before he answered:

"Yes, Bella. You have no idea how much. Alice was immensely relieved when she started having visions of you, and I subtly tested my power on you a few times, in passing, at school… Still, I've been giving it some thought, and I have a theory: Maybe your immunity to Edward's gift is _your_ gift… And, if that's true, it probably applies to more gifts than just Edward's. Alice can still see you, and I can still affect you, but both of our powers operate _outside_ of our target's mind. My gift truly does affect the body physically, altering emotions by manipulating chemical and hormonal reactions within the body. Alice's gift works even farther outside the body. She sees possible future events. Most vampiric gifts work mentally, though; _inside_ the mind: Edward and Aro hear your thoughts, and Alec and Jane's powers are, actually, illusions. Jane makes you _think_ you're in unbearable pain, but your body isn't harmed by her power at all. When Alec cuts off the senses of others, he affects the _receptors_ in the brain, not the nerve endings in the body."

"So…" I said, slowly catching on. "Aro, Jane, Alec… You think I might be immune to them, too?" Jasper nodded.

"Demitri, too, Bella," he said. "And several others, if my theory is correct. Like I said, most vampiric gifts only work mentally… I'm hoping Eleazar will be able to shed some more light on the issue. If I'm right… You may have a very powerful latent gift, Bella; one that would make even the Volturi envious." I shuddered at the thought. I couldn't help it. Jasper automatically sent another wave of ease and reassurance through our still joined hands. I shook my head incredulously.

"I still can't wrap my head around that," I murmured softly. "The idea of _me_ making _vampires_ afraid or envious… It's absurd." Jasper laughed, outright. I looked up at him and his wide smile turned into a mischievous smirk.

"Bella," he spoke in a seductive purr that made my bones melt. I gaped at him helplessly as he scooted a little closer to me. "There is nothing 'absurd' about it. You have to be the bravest human I've ever met. The love you give to others is unconditional, whether they're human, werewolf, or vampire. You protect those you love with everything you have in you, even when the odds are against you. You're incredibly observant and clever…" Jasper was very close to me, now. I could feel his cool breath fanning across my cheek as he leaned in still closer. I was struggling to remember how to breathe. "You're kind and passionate. You're beautiful…" I felt his lips barely graze the side of my neck and my head spun. "You're scent is absolutely maddening…" My heart was pounding embarrassingly, and it skipped a beat when Jasper brought his lips to my ear and whispered: "Woman, you scare the hell out of me."

Woman? Did he just call me a _woman_? My heart, somehow, managed to pound even harder in my chest. Edward never referred to me as a 'woman'. To him, I was always a 'girl', or even a 'child'. Occasionally he referred to me as a 'lady', but never a 'woman'. I loved the sound of the name, especially in Jasper's molten silk voice.

I gasped for breath I'd been neglecting to take and I laid a hand on Jasper's stone chest, pushing him back a little. My strength was futile against him, of course, but he relented to it and eased back until his face was a foot away from mine. His eyes were very dark, so I was careful to move slowly: I rose up on my knees and gave him a bracing look before leaning in. His body didn't go rigid when our lips touched, a response I'd learned to expect from Edward, but kissing him still felt a little awkward. A quick peck was all I could manage before my self-consciousness got the better of me and I pulled back. Jasper sent out a gentle wave of ease, to quell my discomfort, but that wasn't what I wanted.

"Let me feel what _you're_ feeling, Jasper," I tried and failed to imitate his seductive purr. My voice cracked and my words sounded faintly garbled. I felt myself blush, but I made myself continue: "Right now. Let me feel what I'm making you feel. Please?" I tentatively reached up and touched his cool cheek with my heated hand and I felt the flow begin: First, there was a faint flicker of fear, proof of the truth in his earlier words. I smiled involuntarily and he smiled back, his eyes never leaving mine. Those swirling pools of onyx became continually more molten as he let more emotions loose: Protectiveness, awe, longing, love, and lust. Before I knew it, I was leaning in again, this time with no hesitation.

I couldn't even close the whole distance between us before Jasper's patience crumbled. He met me halfway, claiming my lips with his in a heated kiss that wonderfully contrasted the cool marble of his own mouth. His kiss was fiery and aggressive, putting Edward's chaste kisses to shame. I felt my entire body melting, and Jasper was no help. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me forward as he leaned back, pulling me on top of him as he stretched out across my bed. For a moment, I panicked: What would Charlie do if he saw or heard us?! All my qualms were lost, though, when I felt Jasper's cold tongue touch my lips, requesting entrance. I was quick to cave.

Jasper had officially crossed one of Edward's old boundaries. This was entirely new territory for me, and I was absolutely lost in it. Jasper looked like a Greek god, and his smell was intoxicating, but his _taste_! His tongue explored my mouth thoroughly, marking the uncharted territory with his sweet, addictive taste. A small part of me realized I must be tasting his venom, but the larger part of me really didn't care.

I started to run out of breath and Jasper flipped us over at vampire speed, so he was on top. He held the majority of his weight off of me and his mouth left mine, allowing me to gasp for breath. I was surprised by how hard he was also breathing, but he was quick to prove he didn't really need the air. He lightly kissed my jaw, my neck, and my collar bone. My heart had to sound like a war drum to his ears, but I just couldn't find it in me to be embarrassed. I could still feel what he was feeling: The longing, the love, the lust… The irritation?

"What's wrong?" I scarcely managed to gasp. Jasper growled softly and rolled off me, so we were laying side-by-side. His breathing was almost as labored as mine.

"Nothing, really," he said. "Just an inconvenient interruption. Charlie ordered pizza for dinner, while you were asleep. I hear the delivery car coming. You really should go downstairs and eat. You've barely eaten, today, and seeing you in better spirits will keep your father from worrying." I almost growled, myself. Stupid human needs.

"I guess so," I sighed. Jasper chuckled softly and stood up, pulling me off the bed with him in one fluid motion.

"I need to eat, too," he said. "I'll go hunt, and then I need to call Emmett."

"When are they coming, tomorrow?" I asked, gradually settling back into reality.

"They already left," Jasper told me, giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze when he felt my anxiety bubbling up. "They're driving down here. Rosalie lent her convertible to Tanya, Kate, and Irina. Carmen, Eleazar, and Emmett are coming in Emmett's Jeep. They should be here by midnight, tonight."

"Vampire driving," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "Great."

"They're going to love you, Bella," Jasper reassured me, cupping my cheek in one of his cool hands. "You'll see. We're going to make this right, Bella. You're going to be okay." I jumped slightly when I heard the doorbell and Jasper laughed.

"I guess I should get down there," I whispered, suddenly more worried of being overheard by the humans downstairs.

"Yes, you should," Jasper agreed. He walked toward my window before looking back at me, once more. An impish glint came to his eyes as he looked at me and he smiled when I blushed, in response. "Just take a 'human moment' in the bathroom, on your way down," he suggested right before leaping out my window. The too innocent tone of his voice had me running to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and watched as I blushed red as a traffic light. Charlie _definitely_ couldn't see me looking like this.


	9. Endangered Species

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 9: Endangered Species**

**A/N: Bella's POV, again, but I've got a treat coming for you Jasper lovers: Jasper's POV, next chapter! Theme song for this chapter: "Mother Earth" by Within Temptation. Enjoy, and please leave a review!**

"Bella, you don't understand. It's dangerous."

"I'm perfectly aware of the dangers! I'm not a child!"

"Then stop acting like one! No… I'm sorry. I didn't mean that… But, Bella, you are acting reckless. You don't know what you're getting yourself into…"

"_Yes I do_! They're your friends and family, Edward! Why don't you trust them? Why don't you trust me?"

"Stay away from them, Bella. The wolves, too…"

"No!"

I looked around for Jasper, Jacob, anyone… But I was alone with Edward in the woods, and it was getting dark.

"Where are they, Edward? Take me back to them!"

"No, Bella."

I stared into Edward's dark eyes in disbelief. Why was he doing this? Whatever his motive, there would be no reasoning with him. His dark eyes were hard as flint. If I was going to see the others, again, I would have to find them myself. I started to walk away from Edward, but he grabbed my arm.

"No, Bella," he said, again.

"Let me go, Edward," I demanded. I struggled against his grip on my arm, but it was useless. "Let go," I said in the strongest voice I could muster. Edward's grip didn't relent.

"You're mine."

"I… What?" I stared right into Edward's eyes, shocked by his words… Bad idea. I couldn't look away. He was dazzling me.

"Don't you see, Bella? This is for your own good. For us."

"Y-you… I…" I struggled to find words. I wanted to argue, but resistance was becoming increasingly more difficult. Edward pulled me closer to him, still not releasing my arm.

"Bella, for me. Do this for me," he purred. "For us. Everything will be alright, Bella, but you have to trust me and do as I say…"

"Bella, wake up." That voice was different… No. It was familiar. It was Jasper.

"For me," Edward whispered, again. "For us…"

"Bella, wake up." This was a dream. Jasper was trying to wake me up, but… Why couldn't I wake? I tried to move, but Edward just pulled me closer to him… Away from Jasper.

"Jasper," I forced the word out. Edward growled lowly when Jasper responded:

"Yes, Bella, it's me. Wake up, sweetheart."

"Edward won't…" I tried to speak, again, but Edward's eyes still held mine, just as his hand held my arm.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice called to me, again. He sounded worried, now.

"Edward won't let me go," I gasped out. Edward growled, again. The darkness around the two of us was bearing down… And Edward was pulling me under. "Help me," I whispered. "Jasper…"

I felt numb. I felt cold. Jasper's voice faded away, and I felt… Love. Protectiveness. Determination… Hope. I gasped and my eyes flew open. Jasper pulled me out of the darkness, off the bed, and into his arms.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jasper asked me gently. "What happened?"

"I don't know," I almost whimpered. "I was in the woods with Edward. I was trying to get back to you, but Edward grabbed me... He wouldn't let me go. Even when I heard your voice and realized I was dreaming… I couldn't wake up. He wouldn't let me go..." Slow tears were rolling down my cheeks, at this point. I didn't really know why I was crying, but I couldn't stop.

"Shh…" Jasper murmured, gently stroking my hair. "It's okay. It was only a dream."

"He didn't want me going back to any of you." Though it had only been a dream, I felt a need to explain: "You, the rest of the family, your friends from Denali, the wolves… He said I was his and he tried to dazzle me… And he growled at you."

"I was there?" Jasper prodded softly.

"No. When I heard your voice trying to wake me, Edward heard it, too. He growled and tried to pull me farther away from you. He growled, again, when I spoke to you. He kept pulling me farther away."

"Edward isn't going to take you away from us," Jasper said, his voice suddenly sounding fiercely determined. "He isn't even here."

"He isn't…? Oh!" I finally shook the dream from my mind with that subtle reminder. I leaned away from Jasper a little, so I could look in his eyes: Bright gold. "Emmett and your friends are here?" Jasper nodded.

"That's why I came to wake you. Emmett and I are going to be here in an hour, to pick you up." I couldn't help but laugh at the human-conscious phrasing. Emmett and Jasper would drive back down here for Charlie's sake, of course. Jasper smiled as he felt my mood lighten a little, but his eyes still watched me warily.

"Alice called and said there's going to be a big storm, today," he began. I instantly understood his wary expression, and I knew what he was going to say next: "It might be a nice way to break the ice, so to speak," he said slowly, gauging my reaction. "A game might put our friends a little more at ease, and your scent won't be quite so strong, in the clearing. It will help them adjust to it, and… Well, I thought it might be a little more comfortable for you, too, if you met the others in a less confined space. On the other hand, you probably associate vampire baseball games with…"

"No, I'm fine," I said quickly. It wasn't a complete lie. Yes, thinking of that first time made me remember meeting James, Laurent, and Victoria, but I forced myself to focus on the better part of that evening: Watching how free the Cullens were, as they played. Allowing these vampires form Denali that sense of freedom was a good idea. "Is Charlie awake, yet?" I asked Jasper. He nodded.

"He's watching the news, downstairs… There's been another 'animal attack'."

"Victoria and Laurent?" I whispered as a fresh wave of anxiety rippled through me. Jasper nodded, again.

"Probably," he almost growled. "It happened last night, south of here. The body was found on Copalis Beach."

"Would they really just dump the body there?" I asked, horrified, but curious despite myself.

"It's possible, but not likely." I knew Jasper was probably gauging my reaction with his extra sense, but he didn't hesitate to answer me: "The man was probably out sailing in the moonlight. The ocean is one of the most convenient places for us to attack humans, you see. We don't need to breathe, nor do we get tired, so we can swim far out into the water and stay under for an indefinite period of time. Any unsuspecting human out on the water never sees us coming, and what better place is there to leave the remaining body? The body sinks in the water and the smell of their blood draws other carnivorous animals to their remains. The real cause of their death is virtually indiscernible and any other humans classify their disappearance as 'lost at sea'."

"So, this… You said it was a man?" I said slowly. Jasper nodded and waited for me to continue: "This man probably died out on the water, but his body managed to wash ashore?" Jasper nodded, again.

"Most likely," he answered. I nodded mutely, unsure of what to say, beyond that. Jasper pulled me closer to him, again, and hugged me lightly. "We'll stop them, soon, Bella," he murmured in my ear. "Right now, you need to get ready to go, okay?" I nodded into Jasper's chest and he kissed my forehead gently. "I'll be back in an hour," he said, and he jumped off my bed and out the window

I showered quickly and changed into a light-weight brown sweater and jeans. I briefly considered dressing up a little more for the Denali vampires, but I quickly decided that was impractical and unnecessary. I would look like a plain human no matter what I wore. I pulled on a pair of comfortable sneakers before heading back to the bathroom to deal with my hair. That was when the first clap of thunder sounded. I peered out the small bathroom window and watched the rain fall from the charcoal gray sky for a minute, imagining one of the Denali vampires smashing a baseball far out into the woods as the thunder sounded, again… If that sound _was_ thunder. Then, I heard the familiar roar of Emmett's Jeep.

I felt my heart rate shoot up as I quickly pulled a brush through my hair a few times. It was cooperating well enough, today, so I would leave it down and hope for the best. I jumped a foot when I heard the doorbell ring. Even though they'd driven down here, I was half-expecting Jasper and Emmett to still use a window for entry. I had to laugh at how little that thought affected me. Vampires jumping into my house through open windows seemed normal to me… Even after three months of thinking I would never see such vampires, again.

I heard the low rumbling of a brief conversation coming from downstairs, though I couldn't make out the words. For some reason, I couldn't make myself move in the direction of the talking. I was used to having Jasper around, again… But how would Emmett react to seeing me, again? Jasper told Charlie Emmett missed me, but was that really the case? It was difficult to picture Emmett without a smile on his face, but I had seen that very phenomenon, once: At my eighteenth birthday party, when my blood was spilled right in front of him. That was my last memory of Emmett, and it was a difficult memory to shake off. The look on Emmett's face was even more difficult to forget than Jasper's loss of control. Emmett was always the enthusiastic, perpetually happy one… And I'd ruined it.

My feet were still rooted on the spot when the sound of Emmett's booming laughter brightened my spirits a little. He was in my house, and he was laughing. That, at least, was good sign. I made myself move. I walked slowly out of the bathroom and made my way to the top of the stairs. By the time I reached the top step, I could here the downstairs conversation clearly:

"Yeah, it was hard to watch the Seahawks' last game," Emmett groaned animatedly. "At least the Bears are having a better season, this year." They were talking about sports. No wonder Charlie seemed so comfortable.

"Son, if you're a Bears fan, you'd better be quiet about it," Charlie warned playfully. "Any bear that comes near this couch is liable to get shot."

"Well, you'd better get your shotgun, Dad," I said, announcing my presence as I started down the stairs. "Emmett can't get enough of those bears." Jasper burst out laughing at my little inside joke and Emmett guffawed loud enough to wake any still-sleeping neighbors. When he regained control of himself, Emmett grinned up at me. Something about it seemed a little forced to me, though, and I was instantly anxious. I stopped halfway down the stairs. I felt a wave of calm flow my way from Jasper while Emmett was the first to speak:

"Don't just stand there, Bella," Emmett laughed. "Get down here." Emmett stood up and opened his arms to me, but I was still frozen. The scene must have looked suspicious to Charlie, because I was suddenly hit with a very strong wave of enthusiasm that was not my own. I took the hint without risking a glance at Jasper. I forced a wide grin and launched myself down the stairs. I very nearly tripped as I ran into Emmett's arms, but he caught me in a hug that pulled my feet off the ground completely.

"I missed you, Bella," Emmett said in a completely different tone. His voice was sincere and subdued in a way that left me thoroughly confused. Nonetheless, I returned the sentiment

"I missed you, too, Emmett," I told him as he set me back down. "A lot." I added that last part too quietly for Charlie to hear. Emmett surely heard it, but he gave no noticeable response.

"Don't worry, Chief Swan," Emmett said to Charlie. "We won't let her anywhere near the bat. We just want to see if we can get her to pitch. That will be safe enough, don't you think?" Emmett spoke in a voice that sounded dead serious. Charlie laughed.

"I wouldn't put money on it, either way," he laughed. "Just try not to hurt yourself too badly, eh, Bells?" Charlie said to me.

"Yeah, I'll try," I said, playing along as well as I could.

"Go have some fun, kiddo. You need it," Charlie told me. "Call me if you're going to be out late. Emmett, Jasper," Charlie nodded at each in farewell and headed off in the direction of his room. Jasper nudged my arm lightly.

"Have you eaten breakfast, Bella?" He asked me softly.

"No," I murmured, not looking up at him. "Just a sec." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a brown sugar and cinnamon Pop-Tart before rejoining Emmett and Jasper in the living room. Both vampires cringed at my food choice, but they didn't say anything. At a loss for what to say or do, next, I headed for the door. Emmett and Jasper followed me out. It was still raining outside, but not heavily, so I didn't go back inside for an umbrella. I locked the door behind me and made it all the way over to Emmett's Jeep before the two vampires suddenly sprang to life:

"I'll kill him," Emmett growled even as he picked me up with one arm and helped me into the backseat. Jasper leapt into the seat beside me and started strapping me into the off-roading harness. I looked at Jasper in alarm, surprised by Emmett's outburst. Jasper had a disgusted look on his face that puzzled me even more.

"I warned you," he said as Emmett jumped into the driver's seat. I watched in shock as Emmett gripped the ignition key too tightly and bent it. He growled lowly and straightened it before starting the engine.

"You said she was _worse_ than this, when you got here?" Emmett asked as he began to drive.

"You have no idea how much," Jasper said gravely, "nor do you want to. Trust me." I heard a strange groaning sound that seemed to be coming from where Emmett was tightly gripping the steering wheel.

"Emmett, stop," I whispered weakly. Emmett suddenly turned off to the side of the road and hit the brakes. I opened my mouth to attempt speaking, again, but Emmett cut me off:

"I know this isn't what you meant," he said quickly as the Jeep came to a complete stop. He let go of the wheel and his huge hands clenched into fists as he turned around to face me. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said, unsmiling. "I'm sorry if I'm scaring you. I'm sorry…" A low growl replaced words and Emmett looked away from me, again.

"I don't understand," I whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Edward," Jasper answered simply. Emmett growled, again. "Emmett, go find a rock to beat to powder," Jasper said in a surprisingly weary tone. "Come back when you're done." Emmett leapt out of the Jeep and darted off without a word. I stared after him, stunned.

"Emmett wasn't expecting you to look so… Broken," Jasper said softly. "I told him to be prepared. You look much better than you did when I first got here, but…"

"Do I really look that bad?" I asked, suddenly very self-conscious. Jasper was instantly contrite:

"No, no, Bella, it's not like that. You look beautiful," Jasper reassured me, brushing some of my hair behind my shoulder and gently lifting my chin until my eyes met his. "It's probably not even that noticeable to humans, anymore. You just have a… It's visible to us, Bella. We can see the darkness in your eyes, the extra effort behind your smiles, the way even your frequent blushes just don't light up your skin quite as much as they used to. We can sense it. I truly feel it more than any of the others will be able to, but we can all sense it to some extent… Emmet wasn't ready for that, and it upset him. He'll be more like himself when he blows off a little steam."

"Yeah, sorry I lost it for a minute there, Bella," Emmett said as he reappeared and hopped back into the Jeep. He was smiling, again, but it still looked a little artificial. At least he wasn't growling and breaking the Jeep.

"It's okay, Emmett," I said. I tried to make my voice bright and casual, but it didn't come out right. My mind was elsewhere and it refused to waste any effort on lying to vampires. Emmett and Jasper both shot me inquiring looks.

"So, it's Edward you're so upset with?" I asked tentatively. Emmett frowned at me. Jasper sighed and closed his eyes. He looked more like a weary human than I thought was possible.

"What did you think I was so upset about?" Emmett asked me, sounding surprised.

"Her," Jasper answered for me, opening his eyes and inclining his head toward me briefly. "I thought that's what I was getting from her, back in the house," he said more to himself than Emmett. Then, he turned to me. "You thought he was upset with you," he said. It wasn't a question. Jasper knew what I was feeling. Still, I nodded.

"Why would you think that?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Because she still doesn't believe we all still care about her," Jasper answered for me, again.

Emmett blinked once, and then the growling started, again. Jasper reached down and took my hand in his, stroking the back of my hand soothingly with his thumb. Emmett seemed a little beyond speech, so he turned back around and restarted the Jeep. I turned my face into Jasper's shoulder, trying to ignore the furious speed.

Within a matter of minutes, we were at the familiar dead-end curb by the woods. Jasper immediately started helping me out of the harness. As soon as I was unfastened, I turned to my door and found Emmett already standing there. He pulled me out of the Jeep and into a slightly too-tight hug. "Emmett, can't breathe," I gasped out and he set me down on my feet.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, Bella," he began, "but I meant what I said, back at your house. I really could kill Edward for what he did to you. I won't, because that will probably just upset you even more, but… When Alice told us everything Jasper's been telling her… That didn't go over well with _any _of us. I'm sure Jasper has already told you this, but you clearly need to hear it, again: We love you. Plain and simple, there it is: _We love you_. Got it?" I nodded and Emmett shook his head.

"No dice, little sis," he said. "I need you to _speak_. Tell me you know that we still love you." My heart fluttered at his familial endearment, but I couldn't give him what he wanted.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said lamely. Emmett frowned at my reply, but he didn't push me for a better one. He looked over my shoulder at Jasper.

"She'll probably be more comfortable with you carrying her," he said to Jasper. "I'll run behind you and keep an eye out for any followers. That okay with you, Bella?" He asked, looking back at me.

"Yeah, sounds good," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could force. I walked over to where Jasper was waiting and he easily lifted me onto his back. "Help me feel better?" I murmured softly in his hear. "I don't want your friends to think I'm a zombie. Being human is bad enough." Jasper pulled one of my hands up to his face and kissed it softly; a silent reassurance. He started to run and I hid my face in the crook of his neck, absorbing the waves of ease and love that poured out of him, one after the other, all the way to the clearing.

Somehow, I'd completely tuned out the sounds of the thunderstorm. The rain wasn't falling over the clearing, but as Jasper carried me into the wide open area, I was abruptly hyperaware of how the sound of the real thunder off in the distance blended with the sounds coming from the baseball game before me. We were still several yards away from them, but the five unfamiliar vampires zooming around the makeshift baseball field came to an abrupt halt and peered in or direction. I kept my death-grip on Jasper until he sent one last tidal wave of calm and reassurance my way. My grip slackened and he helped me climb down from his back. Emmett came up on my other side as soon as my feet touched down.

"We're right here, Bella," Emmett whispered almost inaudibly. "It's okay." I nodded once.

"Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, this is Bella," Jasper spoke louder than Emmett, but his voice still didn't go far above the volume that was normal for close-range human conversation. I looked over the unfamiliar vampires quickly as he called out to them. Three of the females looked like they could be biologically related: One had curly strawberry blonde hair that hung down just below her shoulders while the other two had straight, platinum blonde hair. Of those two, one wore her hair long, almost to her waist, while the other wore a chin-length bob. The two remaining vampires looked very different: Their skin was darker than that of the three blonde females. They both had an odd faded olive tone to their skin; a strange color that still managed to look strikingly beautiful. The man and woman each had wavy, dark brown hair. The woman's hair cascaded almost all the way down to her waist while the man's hair fell to about the same length as Jasper's. They all looked stunningly beautiful, of course. I had to look like a windblown housecat, to them: Fragile and frazzled with debatable sanity.

"Hi, Bella," the girl with the long blonde hair darted over, first, and greeted me with a friendly smile. "I'm Kate." Kate extended her hand to me and I found myself taking it without hesitation. Somehow, this girl reminded me of my first real encounter with Alice. Kate seemed so completely non-judgmental, and meeting her was a surprising relief.

"No testing just yet, Kate," Jasper warned. The thin, statuesque vampire rolled her eyes.

"Testing what?" I asked, looking between her and Jasper.

"My gift," Kate explained. "No one I've ever encountered, human or vampire, has been immune to it. It does just work mentally, though, so if Jasper's theory is correct…"

"It may be, Kate," the dark-haired male chimed in. He and the other three women had all made their way closer, during my brief exchange with Kate. He was standing only a few feet away from me, at this point, and he was staring at me curiously. "She's certainly blocking me. I've been trying to get around her shield since Jasper first carried her in, but it's impenetrable to me. If Jasper can still affect her, though, it must be a strictly mental shield."

"Dear, you haven't even introduced yourself," the dark-haired woman chided affectionately, stepping forward and laying a hand on the burly man's arm. "She's not an exhibit in a museum, let's not be rude. I'm Carmen, little one," she said to me kindly. "This is Eleazar. We were told Jasper explained Eleazar's gift to you?"

"Briefly, yes," I answered softly. I felt another wave of ease flow through me and shot Jasper a quick, grateful glance. "I don't quite understand, though," I was able to speak with more confidence, with Jasper's help. "You said I have a 'shield'?" I asked Eleazar, "What, exactly, do you mean by that?"

"Your immunity to Edward's gift was, apparently, not a random occurrence," Eleazar explained, still staring at me calculatingly. "Just as Jasper theorized, your immunity extends to other gifts, including mine. In the Volturi, we loosely classified that kind of gift as a shield… Is your use of it really so subconscious, though?" He asked, "Are you as unaware as you seem of your gift?"

"I guess so," I answered the intimidating vampire timidly. "I was never deliberately blocking Edward from my mind, and I'm not trying to block you." Eleazar surprised me by laughing incredulously.

"And you all just stumbled across her?" He asked, looking at Jasper and Emmett. He laughed, once more, but his voice took on a slightly frustrated tone as he continued speaking: "And Edward's singer, no less! Il suo cantante, and a shield, and he just happens across her in this little town! When I was with the guard, I was sent all over the world looking for such talents, and here you all have it right in front of you and don't even realize it!"

"We do, now," Emmett said innocently. Eleazar glared at him. Somehow, the expression on Eleazar's face didn't deter me form asking him another question:

"Did you call me Edward's _singer_?" I asked incredulously. "I don't understand. I can't sing at all." Eleazar laughed lightly, his flustered demeanor dissolving away quickly. I couldn't tell if Jasper was helping, or if Eleazar's mood swings were natural. I didn't plan on asking.

"No, that's not what I meant, little one," Eleazar explained. "It's just another special name we used, among the Volturi. When a human's blood is as potent to a vampire as yours is to Edward, we call them that vampire's singer. It's your blood that sings to Edward, so to speak, not your voice."

"So, can I try, now?" Kate chimed in randomly. I nearly jumped at the sudden interruption. I blinked as I tried to remember what she was talking about:

"Your gift?" I asked her. "You can't tell if it works or not, already?"

"No," she said. "I need physical contact. My gift isn't a mere sense, like Eleazar's, and I can't project it beyond my own body, like Jasper can project his gift. I can shock people who touch me with an electrical current of sorts. It used to only be in my palms, but I've learned to project it through my entire body, over time… If you're so unaware of your gift, I suppose you've never tried to project it?" Kate asked me. I shook my head.

"A lot of talented vampires find projection impossible," Kate was quick to jump in with a disclaimer: "It's certainly difficult for me to manage, and you're still human, so the chance of you being able to do it is practically nonexistent, but I was just curious. Maybe you could project it, if you were changed." I felt my heart skip a beat at how matter-of-factly Kate spoke about my changing. The idea of me becoming a vampire seemed to make perfect sense, to her. My mind reeled at the thought and it took me a moment to collect myself:

"Can you define 'an electrical shock of sorts'?" I asked her.

"Kate can put a vampire flat on his back, if she chooses to," Jasper answered for her. "That amount of voltage would be lethal to a human, of course, but she can control the magnitude. You could think of it this way, Bella: The voltage she can exert ranges from a static shock you might get from another person… to a being struck by a lightning bolt."

"While standing in a pool of water," Emmett added with a chuckle of anticipation. Jasper shot him a quick, warning look.

"You don't have to worry, though, Bella," Jasper reassured me. "You're probably immune to her talent, and she'll start with the lowest voltage, as a precaution. Right, Kate?"

"Of course," Kate said with a bright smile. "Ready, Bella?" She asked me. Her smile grew even wider as she extended her open hand to me. Though Jasper surely felt how nervous I was, I tried to hide that fact from the others by taking Kate's hand quickly… And nothing.

"Are you trying?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said in a slightly strained voice. Her fingers closed around my hand, holding me firmly in place. Still, I felt nothing but her cool hand holding mine.

"Maybe you could try a higher voltage?" I found myself encouraging her.

"You've already been hit by a lightning bolt, Bella," Kate almost growled in frustration. Watching her beautifully arched eyebrows knit together in concentration, I found myself feeling bad about the whole thing. She, clearly, hated being so ineffectual.

"Ow, Kate! Stop!" The other blonde-haired vampire suddenly screeched. There were several more similar outbursts and every vampire around me and Kate was suddenly on the ground. Kate yelped and leapt back from me like I'd burned her. I was frozen on the spot, as figuratively shocked as the vampires around me were literally shocked by whatever had just happened. Eleazar was the first one to recover. He leapt back to his feet and gaped at Kate.

"How did you do that?" He demanded of her. "You still didn't affect Bella, but you projected out to all the rest of us! I sensed your projection before I even felt the shock!"

"It _was_ Bella!" Kate nearly screeched in reply. I gaped at her while everyone else stared at me.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" My voice cracked as I forced it out. "I didn't do anything!" I felt my heart rate accelerating as I defended myself. That must have been Jasper's cue. All of a sudden, I was hit by a tsunami of calm that clearly washed out into everyone else, too. Kate's defensive stance relaxed substantially and Eleazar's alarmed expression faded slightly.

"But, I _felt_ it come from you," Kate spoke in a much more controlled voice.

"Felt what? I didn't do anything," I repeated.

"I felt… More power come from you," Kate tried to explain. "More strength and energy. You… You amplified my power. I was straining to test my highest voltage on you, and then I was projecting! I felt my power increase, but it happened too quickly for me to stop it!"

"Bella," the sound of Jasper's voice made me jump. I spun around too quickly and nearly fell, but Jasper caught me and pulled me around to face him. "You're father," he spoke as though conveying vital information. I blinked a few times, trying to catch up with his train of thought.

"What about Charlie?" I asked stupidly.

"Just yesterday, Bella," Jasper reminded me. "When I came to your house and met Charlie, I projected an entirely different emotion to him than I was projecting to you, remember?" My mind momentarily short-circuited as it tried to process what Jasper was thinking. After a few seconds of rewiring, though, all the pieces came together with a nearly audible click:

"It _is_ me," I said slowly. Jasper nodded.

"I think it might be," he said. "I don't think any of us want to keep testing with Kate, though, so I want you to try amplifying my gift, again. Can you do that, Bella?"

"I don't know how," I whispered anxiously.

"What were you thinking about, right before we all bit the dust?" The girl with the short blonde hair grumbled. I looked at her in mute surprise.

"That's Irina," Jasper said, sensing my reaction. I looked at the strawberry blonde-haired girl beside Irina. I knew I should be able to name her by process of elimination, but my mind was too busy with other things.

"I'm Tanya," she introduced herself in a strangely flat, though still beautiful voice. "What were you thinking about?" She repeated Irina's question impatiently.

"I felt bad, because it was upsetting her," I mumbled in my haste to answer. I shook my head out like a horse, refusing to think of what all these vampires thought of the action, and made myself speak more coherently: "Kate, I mean," I clarified. "I was wishing I could do something to help her and… I guess I did."

"Think back to yesterday afternoon, Bella," Jasper encouraged. "Is that how you were feeling when you boosted my gift?"

"Sort of," I said. "I mean… I realized you were trying to get Charlie out of the house and I was ruining it, so I stopped struggling against you… How you were affecting me, I mean… And I tried to focus on playing along."

"So, it's a desire to help others attain their goals?" Eleazar said more to himself than the rest of us. "And physical contact?"

"Wouldn't Edward or Alice have experienced it, if that were the case?" Carmen chimed in curiously.

"I was always glad Edward couldn't read my mind," I thought aloud. "And I always discouraged him from eavesdropping. As for Alice…"

"Didn't you spend more time ducking her visions than encouraging them?" Emmett laughed. "That's how you got away from her and Jasper, when you were in Phoenix."

"We may have it, then," Jasper said. He pulled me around to face him, again, and captured my eyes with his. "Look only at me, Bella," he instructed as he lifted my arms above his shoulders. "Wrap your arms around my neck, so we can see if any physical contact works or if it has to be hand-to-hand. Try to relax and forget that we have an audience, okay? Just try to help me, if you can. I'm going to try to project different emotions to everyone. Can you help me do that? Do you _want_ me to be able to do that, Bella?"

"Yes," I whispered as Jasper began pouring pure love into me without warning.

"That's it, Bella," he encouraged. "Focus. Tell me what emotions you feel me projecting to you," he told the others behind me.

"Love."

"Love."

"Love."

"Love."

"Love."

"Love," I heard six voices respond and I blushed furiously. That was awkward. I didn't want them feeling what Jasper was making me feel.

"Calm."

"Fear."

"Sadness."

"Joy."

"Anger."

"Apathy," the six voices spoke, again… It worked.

"I already told them how I feel about you," Jasper whispered in my ear. "Don't feel embarrassed. I just thought starting with such a personal emotion would give you more motivation to help me project different emotions." A small part of me wanted to reach up and smack Jasper for messing with me, like that. The larger part of me, however, was lost in the relief he was projecting, now. That emotion, I didn't try to split. "Relief?" Jasper asked everyone behind me, to check.

"Yes," they all chorused, as one.

"It worked," Carmen said in a stunned voice. I stepped out of Jasper's arms and turned to face her. Stunned she might sound, but she looked delighted.

"So, does this mean she has _two_ talents?" Tanya asked Eleazar. Eleazar was staring at me with wide eyes. He looked… Disturbed.

"Yes," he murmured almost inaudibly.

"Is that bad?" I asked him, confused by his reaction. He didn't answer.

"It isn't bad, is it, dear?" Carmen asked him. That surprised me even more. This woman was clearly Eleazar's mate, but she was just as confused as I was.

"Specie in via di estinzione," Eleazar murmured in what sounded like a mixture of wonder and fear.

"Endangered species?" Carmen translated. Eleazar nodded. Jasper growled lowly and Eleazar nodded, again.

"You know of them?" He asked Jasper.

"Not personally," Jasper answered gravely, "but I heard of them, during the wars. Many covens were searching for them, but none were ever found, to my knowledge."

"Who are 'they'?" Tanya and I both demanded at the same time.

"Bambino di Saturno," Eleazar said, giving me another mystified stare.

"Child of Saturn," Jasper translated, this time. "A name given to vampires with multiple supernatural talents. Saturn is the Roman god also known as Old Father Time."

"The name first came from the Volturi, in Italy," Eleazar continued the explanation. "In Roman mythology, Saturn ruled the gods before Jupiter. Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto were his children. Those children represented air, water, and death, the three things that time cannot kill. When the Volturi family formed, three millennia ago, they called multitalented vampires Children of Saturn, because of their potentially devastating power. For a thousand years, being a Child of Saturn was a punishable offense, in their eyes, because such power was sure to cause problems in terms of our secrecy. When the Saturno population was nearly decimated, though… They had a change of heart.

"The only coven to ever take on the Volturi was from Romania. They detested the leadership of the Volturi and wanted to claim that position in our world for themselves. When the Volturi elders caught wind of the Romanians' growing numbers, the guard was sent out to find Saturnos, for aid. Jane and Alec were found during that time, but no Saturnos. Thankfully, Jane and Alec each had one devastating power, when they were changed. The two of them, together, were virtually unbeatable, making the following massacre of the Romanians almost too easy. Only two Romanian vampires were allowed to escape.

"The Volturi no longer sought to kill Saturnos, but they _did_ continue searching for them. Rather than destroy such power, they wanted to hone it. They wanted to adopt Saturnos into the guard, so no one would ever dare challenge them, again. Unfortunately, many other covens began seeking out Saturnos for that very reason: They wanted the power to defeat the Volturi guard."

"That's how I heard about them," Jasper said pensively. "Every coven in I encountered, during the wars, wanted to find a Child of Saturn. Any Saturno would boost their coven's power dramatically… And a Saturno with particularly helpful powers would grant them virtual invincibility."

"So…" I spoke slowly as I tried to comprehend what this mythic story was meant to tell me: "If I'm a Child of Saturn… Would I be considered one of those 'particularly helpful' ones?" I asked. Jasper looked at me sadly and nodded.

"A shield _and_ an amplifier," Jasper said gravely. "And we know you can already project one of your gifts, even if not the other. Both powers will become much stronger, if you're changed. You don't want to know the lengths to which some of our kind would go to claim you as their own, if they knew about you, Bella."

"I've never encountered one in its human form," Eleazar breathed in wonder, still staring at me. "They're so near complete extinction… I've only encountered two, in my lifetime. Many of our kind have never encountered one. Many don't even know Saturnos are real."

The group of vampires around me continued conversing in tense tones, but their voices all started blurring together. I was a human. I was a zombie. I was part of an endangered species. I was a Saturno in human form. I thought of Eleazar's story and chill of fear shot straight down my spine… I really was a danger magnet. I started to step around Jasper, but his hand on my arm stopped me.

"I just want to be alone for a minute," I pleaded even as I tried to keep from losing control and screaming. "Please?" I begged. Jasper hesitated and I felt myself starting to cry. I tried to fight the tears back but one escaped my eye and started rolling down my cheek. Jasper leaned in and tenderly kissed it away.

"Don't wander far," he said softly. "And, please, try not to scrape yourself up too badly." Jasper forced a smile and I mirrored his expression.

"You'll come find me, if I get lost?" I asked. Jasper abruptly pulled me against his chest and hugged me tightly.

"Always," his vow was a whisper in my ear before he kissed my hair and released me. I turned away without looking at any of the others and headed off into the woods.

My mind reeled relentlessly as I wove my way deeper and deeper into the trees: What did all of this mean? How did I manage to go from being a weak little human, one minute, to being a mythical creature, the next? By now, I was used to everyone I cared about turning out to be a supernatural creature of some sort, but since when was I one, myself? I was a vampire with a devastating amount of power trapped in human form! What would Jacob and the other wolves think of that? One question after another spun through my thoughts fast enough to make me dizzy.

I stopped to sit on a fallen tree trunk and I realized I had absolutely no idea where I was or how far into the woods I'd wandered. Well, technically, I didn't promise Jasper anything. He did promise to come find me, however, so I would just wait in this spot until he followed my scent here. Sure enough, I heard rustling in the nearby brush, and I turned to see…

Laurent.


	10. Seven Scars

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 10: Seven Scars**

**A/N: Jasper's POV. Theme song for this chapter: I give you the ultimate theme song for this story... "What Have You Done" by Within Temptation. If you haven't heard it, off to YouTube with you! Enjoy the chapter and please leave a review! :)**

"We should have ignored Edward's stupid idea of keeping her human," Emmett grumbled belligerently. "We should have changed her, sooner. We should have _let_ her change! James already bit her! Why couldn't Edward just let the venom spread! That's what Bella wanted!"

"You know I agreed, when you first told us about her, Emmett," Irina began tentatively, "but maybe it's better this way, after all. If you'd changed her, before you really knew what she was, who knows what could have happened. Think of what a Saturno will be like, as a newborn!"

"Are you on Edward's side, now, Irina?" I couldn't stop myself from growling at her. "Do you think we should just leave her human and forget about her?

"That's not what I said," Irina retorted coolly.

"You don't even know if she still wants to be changed, Jasper!" Tanya snapped. "Strange as it may be for any human to _want_ this life, do you want to force it on her, now!"

"Better us than someone else," Eleazar murmured thoughtfully.

"I agree," Irina sighed.

"What?" Tanya growled incredulously.

"Cool it, Tanya," Irina growled back. "Please forget for one minute that you're jealous of Bella, and think logically! If we changer her, we'll take proper care of her. Most of our kind would either be too ill-equipped to handle her and let her run rampant, or abuse their access to her power and try to control her like a slave!"

"There's a _reason_ Edward didn't want her changed," Tanya began, but Irina cut her off:

"This is _not_ about Edward, Tanya! This is about Bella! It's about _all_ _of us_! Edward left her, Tanya! Why are you so threatened by her?"

"I am _not_ threatened by her!" Tanya snapped.

"Yes you are!" Irina growled. "You've wanted Edward for decades, and you found out he wanted a human girl, instead! Now, we all know she's a human Saturno! Even though Edward broke that poor girl's heart, you're afraid he'll take her back! Did you _see_ her, Tanya! Did you really look at her, or were you too busy thinking of all the ways she's not right for Edward? He _broke_ her, Tanya! How can you possibly envy her that?" That last line was a kill-strike. Tanya faltered and made no response. No audible response, anyway. I felt guilt and sympathy warring with jealousy and love inside her.

"What about you, Irina?" Kate broke the brief, ringing silence. "You weren't so eager to come help Bella, either." There was no malice in Kate's voice, as she spoke. There was only matter-of-fact curiosity: "When you heard Laurent might be helping the tracker's mate hunt her, you didn't want to get involved."

"That's not true," Irina corrected calmly. "I still have trouble believing Laurent would do this, but my feelings have nothing to do with Bella."

"And, if at any point you have to choose between them?" I asked her. "If you have to choose between Bella and Laurent? What then?" I knew that was really an impossible question for her to answer, so I waited patiently for her attempt. Before her answer came, though, another sound shattered my world.

"Shit, that's Bella!" Emmett growled and leapt to his feet. Bella was screaming… And I knew that scream. The sound rocked me to my core and I charged toward it without a word to the others. They followed on my heels without any other prompt.

How could I have been so stupid? I shouldn't have let her wander off. If nothing else, I should have followed after her as soon as her heartbeat was out of earshot. I could have given her the privacy she wanted without letting her get into trouble, but I blew it! We all had! What have we done, now? All too quickly, I was reminded, again.

"Jasper!" The most beautiful voice in the world screamed my name in agony. "Emmett!" Another shrill cry for help tore through the air and I pushed myself faster. I had never run so fast, not even as a newborn. The beautiful, breakable girl I loved was in trouble. Nothing else in the world existed. A few more yards and I smelled it: Bella's blood. Please, no…

Suddenly, Emmett was running level with me, his usually smiling face contorted with cold fury that nearly matched my own. Nearly. I heard all the others picking up speed, behind us, as Bella's potent scent signaled to us that we were very close. We burst through a few more rows of trees, tearing some of them down in the process, and…

"_How could you_?" Irina growled in a mixture of rage and agony. Laurent was crouched down over Bella. Her brown sweater had been almost completely torn off and several fresh bites covered her skin: One layered over the scar on her right wrist, one in the right crook of her neck, one on her left shoulder, one just above where her lacy pink bra covered her right breast, and one on her right hip… But Laurent wasn't drinking her blood, and she wasn't screaming, anymore. She was conscious, but she wasn't screaming… Was there no venom in those wounds? I quickly decided I really didn't care. Laurent leapt away from Bella and I locked on my target, preparing to strike.

"Irina, it's not what it looks like!" Laurent spluttered, shocked by our sudden presence.

"You bit her five times!" Irina shrieked furiously.

"But look at her, Irina!" Laurent pleaded while Emmett and I both growled in outrage. "She's not in any real pain! I sucked the venom right back out, like Edward did!"

"You _dare_ compare what you're doing to what _Edward_ did?" It was Tanya's turn to scream ferociously. "Edward didn't bite her _before_ taking the venom back out! You're torturing her, you sick bastard!"

"You don't understand," Laurent said imploringly. "Let me explain." He, then, made the mistake of taking a step toward the spot where Bella was struggling to cover herself and scoot away. Emmett and I both sprang at him.

"Stop!" Irina screamed, leaping in front of us and blocking Laurent. Emmett and I both growled as we landed short of our target and glared incredulously at Irina. "Don't… Just let him try to explain," she pleaded incoherently. "Please… For me… Just wait…" Irina continued her ambivalent rambling while I assessed the area: Everyone had changed positions. Behind Irina, Laurent had faltered a few steps back, but Eleazar, Carmen, and Tanya were surrounding him from behind, blocking that escape. Kate had moved over to Bella and was clearly holding her breath while assessing Bella's injuries. Kate looked up from Bella and caught my eye, then:

"I think her right hand is broken," Kate announced in a tight voice, still holding her breath. "And she may have a toe or two broken, as well." I was about to push past Irina and rip Laurent to shreds when Irina rounded on him, first. The glare she gave Laurent must have been impressive, because Laurent was instantly defensive:

"That's not my fault!" He insisted. "I was being careful not to break her! Victoria told me to leave her intact! You would think she'd know better than to try fighting a vampire off, though! The stupid girl caused those injuries to herself!"

"Don't you dare insult her!" Irina shrieked in response. Fear and anxiety rippled through Laurent as he realized he was further repelling his only protector. I could, at least, help him dodge that bullet… I had my own questions:

"What was that about Victoria?" I demanded, "What is her part in this? Where is she?"

"I did not want to be involved in this hunt," Laurent was quick to answer me. Wise choice. As he continued speaking, I kept my extra sense carefully trained on him. Using it as a form of lie detection, I paid close attention to the level of sincerity coming from him at all times: "Victoria has her ways, though… I left Alaska when she came and found me there." True. "She blames me for James' death just as she blames Bella and the rest of your family. She believes things would have gone differently if I had remained with her and James, when he chose to pursue Bella." Still true. "Nomadic covens are not as civilized as your family is. You know that better than any of the others, Jasper. To Victoria, I am a traitor to my coven. Do you remember the consequences of betraying a volatile coven?"

"I witnessed some very creative torture techniques, during the wars, yes," I answered with as much venom as I could force into my voice. Laurent flinched, but continued his explanation:

"Consider what she is doing to Bella, now. A mere human, and Victoria is hell-bent on destroying her and everything she holds dear. She threatened me with the same treatment." Mostly true.

"If this is really about redeeming a betrayal, Victoria would have given you very specific orders," I felt myself regressing into my past self as I interrogated Laurent. I was a soldier in the Southern wars and he was an impetuous newborn in need of taming. "What were they?"

"She wanted to make a mockery of my attempt to follow your dietary lifestyle," Laurent answered promptly. His sincerity was beginning to waver, though: "She told me to bite Bella seven times; one bite for each member of your family." Revolting, but true. "She said it was a test of my loyalty to my new lifestyle and the control necessary to maintain it. I could not kill or change the girl. I had to suck the venom out of each bite, taking no more blood from her than that." True.

"And what, then?" Irina demanded for me, "What if we hadn't interrupted?"

"Victoria is waiting for me, somewhere in the mountains." Laurent answered slowly, his fear rising while his sincerity took another dive. "I was to bring the girl back to her, when I was finished."

"And Victoria would have killed her?" Emmett growled from beside me. Laurent hesitated for a fraction of a second:

"I don't know." Lie.

"You lying son of a bitch!" I loosed my most threatening growl. Just as so many newborns had, Laurent stumbled backward in his rush to retreat from the sound. He didn't get far. Eleazar, Carmen, and Tanya tightened their ranks, behind him. "What is Victoria's plan for Bella?"

"She wants Bella to suffer," Laurent blurted in fear. "She wants to kill the girl slowly. That's all I know! She wanted me to bring the human back to her and leave them!"

"And what were you going to do, then?" Irina's voice was barely audible. Her emotions were far stronger: Anger, sympathy, disgust, guilt, disenchantment, love, and hate. "Were you going to came back to us? Were you just going to reappear and pretend you were simply on an extended hunting trip? One that didn't involve humans? Were you going to lie to all of us and pray Alice didn't see anything? Why, Laurent? I loved you. How…? How could you do this?" I decided this was a perfect moment to project what I was feeling from Laurent out to everyone:

"Irina, please understand. I was afraid," Laurent pleaded. Lie. "My plan was… I was worried Alice would see something, so I was going to call and ask you to travel somewhere else with me." Lie. "I would have told you, eventually." Lie. "I just couldn't face the others." True. "I still wanted you, though, Irina. I love you, too." Lie. There were low growls all around. I quickly pulled my gift back inward when I felt Irina's heart break.

"Jasper was just projecting your lack of sincerity to all of us, Laurent," she informed him softly. "Every word you just said was a lie." Laurent chose that moment to drop all the pretense. Frustration and agitation flared in him. I instinctively grabbed Irina and pulled her behind me right before Laurent snapped and loosed a belligerent growl.

"Can't anyone in this family keep their gifts to themselves?" He growled in sudden outrage. Perhaps my earlier analogy wasn't so far off the mark. He really was beginning to act like a volatile newborn. He even made the stupid mistake of advancing on me. I tensed to take him down, but someone else beat me to it:

"No." A human could have heard a pin drop onto snow in the silence that followed Bella's answer. No one spoke… Until Laurent abruptly crumpled to the ground with a cry of pain. I took the opportunity to glance in Bella's direction:

Kate and Bella were both staring purposefully at Laurent. Bella's unharmed left hand was firmly latched onto Kate's arm. Laurent growled and writhed on the ground, clearly in pain, and I understood… Bella was using her power. She was amplifying Kate's power while Kate attacked Laurent.

"Bella, Kate, stop!" Irina screamed and tried to get back to Laurent. She tried to edge around me and Emmett, but Emmett grabbed hold of her and held her back. Laurent's thrashing stopped and he leapt to his feet. I tensed, again, as he turned to glare at Bella and Kate, but he didn't move toward them.

"Kate _and_ Bella?" He growled in stunned disbelief. "What's going on, here?"

"That's what I was going to ask," another unexpected voice surprised me. I didn't risk looking away from Laurent. I recognized the voice and the foul smell.

"Jacob, no!" Bella shouted in protest. "Stay back!"

"Bella, you're half-naked and covered in fresh bite marks," Jacob almost growled. "I'm not going anywhere. If you bloodsuckers don't point us to whoever hurt her, right now, you're _all _gonna burn." Us? A chorus of menacing growls signaled the presence of the rest of the wolf pack, behind me. Laurent was frozen in shock, so I allowed myself to face them… Counting Jacob, there were eight. Three more since yesterday? Were these wolves or oversized rabbits? Their numbers were alarming, but, at least, their presence spared us the task of killing Laurent, ourselves.

"Don't you recognize this slinking coward behind me, Jacob?" I addressed the only one of the wolves in human form. Jacob's eyes locked on a spot just behind my head.

"This one is Laurent?" The mammoth boy demanded. His body was vibrating as he struggled not to phase, but I didn't try to calm him. I nodded, in reply.

"Where's the female?" Jacob demanded.

"Not here. We have yet to see her."

"That's all we need to know," Jacob growled and he let his body collapse. He phased and fell in line with the rest of the pack. They began to advance and everyone moved very quickly, then: Laurent tried to run, but Eleazar, Carmen, and Tanya caught him and threw him back toward the wolves. Meanwhile, Irina thrashed in Emmett's arms:

"No!" She screamed while Emmett wrestled with her.

"Irina, you have to let him go!" Emmett tried to reason with her, but she twisted in his arms and tried to bite him. The wolves growled in warning. I threw a wave of lethargy at Irina and grabbed her arms, helping Emmett restrain her.

"Irina, it's time to choose," I told her as I poured feelings of ease into her. My gift was no match for a shattering heart, though. In many ways, it reminded me of those first days with Bella. This was going to be Hell. Just as the flames began, though… An angel came to help:

Kate appeared beside me, carrying Bella in her arms. Bella reached out and touched my arm while Kate held her far enough away from Irina to avoid injury. "Don't split your power, Jasper," Bella instructed in a hoarse voice. "Just increase the magnitude. I'll help." In that moment, I fell even more in love with Bella. Not only was she keeping a cool head in this extreme situation, but she was selflessly ignoring her own poor condition in favor of helping Irina. The woman really was an angel.

As I was instructed, I focused on pushing the magnitude of my power to new heights… And it worked. Irina's struggles quickly subsided while Bella and I worked together to temporarily numb her pain. "Irina, you have to choose," I said to her, again. "It's time to choose." Irina looked over at Laurent's cowering form for a moment, and then she looked at Bella. A fresh wave of devastating emotions lashed at my numbing influence, but I kept them at bay with Bella's help. After a couple seconds of tense silence, Irina made her choice:

"Bella," she whispered brokenly. She gave over to my influence completely and fell back into Emmett's arms. I looked up at the wolves and locked eyes with the one I recognized as Jacob. I nodded once and he nodded in reply. No longer wary of Irina's retaliation, the wolves stalked toward Laurent. He took off running, again, but the wolves followed right on his heels, so Eleazar, Carmen, and Tanya let them pass.

"They'll be able to… Take care of it… Properly?" Eleazar struggled to phrase his question delicately.

"Yes," I told him. "They'll be fine." Even with our careful phrasing, Irina whimpered in agony.

"Let Jasper carry me, Kate?" Bella's hoarse voice cracked as she spoke softly from beside me. "He needs my amplification to help Irina." Kate smiled gratefully at and Bella nodded. I started to let go of Irina, but Bella was quick to stop me: "No, Jasper. Keep contact with her. Every little bit helps. You can carry me on your back."

"Bella, you can't hold on," I protested. "You're in no condition for that."

"I'll be fine," Bella insisted. "The bites only sting a little, Kate and I got the bleeding to stop, and only my right hand is broken. I don't use my hands to hold on to you. I use my arms."

"Tesoro Bella, you must be exhausted," Carmen murmured, stroking Bella's hair in an Esme-like fashion.

"How long will it take to run back to the Jeep?" Bella asked in earnest. "I won't have to hold on all the way back to the house. Jasper can carry me on his back while Emmett carries Irina and runs alongside us until we get to the Jeep. As soon as we're in the Jeep, Emmett can drive us back to the house while Jasper and I try to keep Irina as comfortable as possible. We won't be able to block her pain forever, but we can, at least, get her back to the house before we let it hit. Please," Bella pleaded, looking at each of us in turn. "I know some of what she's feeling, right now. Let me help her in what little way I can. As soon as we get her back to the house, you can fuss over my physical injuries all you want. We just have to help her, first."

"Dolce angelo," Carmen gushed appreciatively.

"Okay, Bella," I consented. "Help her climb on, Kate?"

"Of course," Kate replied. She moved a little closer to me and lifted Bella higher up. Carmen came forward, too, and carefully helped Bella wrap her arms and legs around me. Tanya stepped around us and helped Irina get positioned on Emmett's back while I was careful to keep one hand on her.

"Tanya, Kate, why don't you two run ahead of us," Eleazar suggested. "Go back to the house and make one of the beds ready for Bella."

"Mine," I suggested. "Find some antiseptic, bandages, and bracing kits in Carlisle's study. Have them ready for when we arrive."

"Carmen and I will run behind you and Emmett, in case Bella falls off," Eleazar said to me. Carmen nodded in agreement.

"We'll take her, if she gets too tired," she said.

"Wait," Kate cut in. "Bella will freeze." Oh, right. Bella was on my back wearing nothing but jeans and a lacy bra… Not the time to let myself think about that!

"Emmett, rip your sweatshirt," I quickly thought of the best way to cover Bella: "It's will be big enough for her to use as a blanket." Emmett didn't hesitate for a second. He ripped his sweatshirt off with both hands, careful to only make one long tear from top to bottom, and eased it out from under Irina without dislodging her. Kate took the makeshift blanket from Emmett and gently tucked it around Bella, tying the sleeves around her neck to hold it in place.

"We'll find some clothes for her, back at the house," Kate assured me and I smiled at her in gratitude.

"As soon as Bella is in the Jeep, Carmen and I will join you," Eleazar told Kate and Tanya. They both nodded and took off running with no further prompt.

"We'll have to be careful about our juxtaposition to each other," I warned Emmett. "I have to keep contact with Irina while we run, and you'll be less affected if you run just a little ahead of me, so Irina is between us."

"Got it," Emmett affirmed and he started running at a pace that was only slightly slower than normal. I kept one hand on Irina's arm as we ran, using my other arm to hold Bella's legs in place around my waist. The wind our running created blew the scent of the dried blood on Bella's skin into my face, but the smell didn't aggravate my thirst too much. It just made me want to turn around and help the wolves rip Laurent to pieces. I couldn't do that to Irina, though, and my Bella needed me. My Bella… I loved the sound of that.

Bella never ceased to amaze me. She held on all the way back to the Jeep, without slipping once, and all the while she kept her amplifying talent focused on me and Irina. She was definitely a Saturno, and she was absolutely incredible. Eleazar seemed to agree:

"I've never seen her equal," he said in approval as he and Carmen helped me and Emmett transfer Irina and Bella into the Jeep. "If she is changed, she will be one of the greatest in our history. How Edward could ever abandon such a find, I will never understand."

"Nor will I, Eleazar," I murmured too softly for Bella's ears to hear as I slid into the backseat, between her and Irina. "Nor will I."

Eleazar and Carmen left, shortly after that, and Emmett started to drive. I noticed that skin-on-skin contact wasn't necessary for Bella's amplification to work, so I avoided such contact in favor of keeping her as warm as possible. Of course, if I could reap the benefits of her amplification by simply resting my hand on her fully clothed knee… That meant she was, actually, projecting just slightly outside of her body… I would have to pass that observation along to Eleazar.

Most of the ride back home went without a hitch. During the last few minutes, though, Bella's fatigue caught up with her. She started falling asleep and losing focus, leaving me to soothe Irina without amplification. I was still able to dull Irina's emotions, but they became much more difficult to suppress.

"How could he do this to her?" Irina murmured when we were three minutes from home and Bella was completely asleep.

"Laurent?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"Edward," she breathed. "The pain I'm feeling, now… Is this how she feels?"

"All the time," I answered honestly. "It was so much worse, when I first came back here, but it's still awful. I still try to keep her dreams away, most nights. She always has horrible nightmares… I can't imagine what she was like, during those first couple months. I pity her father for having to see it."

"Do you really believe he still loves her?" Irina asked. "That he was lying to her, when he said he didn't want her?"

"Part of me hopes so," I answered, "but… Part of me doesn't."

"You love her," Irina breathed.

"I do," I told her.

"And she loves you?"

"She hasn't said so, yet, but I've felt it. I just… I don't know if she would prefer Edward… She's still grieving. I know part of her still loves him…"

"Did you notice how she reacted to all those new bites?" Emmett suddenly joined in the conversation.

"She barely seemed to notice them," I said.

"That probably has to do with you, bro," Emmett commented.

"Maybe," I conceded. "We can ask her about it, later. She needs rest." Even as I spoke, we pulled into the garage.

"Bella, sweetheart," I said softly, gently shaking her awake. She groaned wearily and looked up at me with sleep-robbed eyes. "I'm sorry to wake you, love, but we have to clean your wounds and get some fresh clothes on you. We need to, at least, put a brace on your hand, too. Carlisle will do a better job, when he gets here, but we can't leave your injuries unattended. I'll help you go to sleep, again, as soon as we're done."

"What about Charlie?" Bella mumbled drowsily. It was almost enough to make me laugh. Even in this drained and dragging state, she still managed to worry about her father.

"We'll handle Charlie," Emmett promised as he hopped out of the Jeep. "It's barely five o'clock, anyway. We have time to think of something." Emmett lingered beside Irina and I knew what he was waiting for: I finally broke contact with Irina and winced when she whimpered in pain. Emmett helped her out of the Jeep and started guiding her back to the house. Bella stared after them fretfully.

"Please don't worry about anyone else, right now, Bella," I said to her as I lifted her into my arms and leapt lightly out of the Jeep. "You promised we could all fuss over you, when we got back here," I added somewhat teasingly. I was rewarded with a tiny, tired smile. "We'll take care of everything," I promised her, "starting with you." Bella gave me another faint smile and ceased in her protests as I carried her inside. Once inside, I handed her off to Carmen and Kate.

"We'll get her changed and clean the bites," Carmen assured me. "We'll give her something for the pain, too. Once she's decent, Eleazar can brace her hand, and perhaps her toes, if they're fractured. He's not as good as Carlisle, of course, but he'll do a good enough job."

"I don't doubt that," I sighed as I watched Carmen and Kate carry Bella away. Watching her, I couldn't help but go back through Irina's questions in my head. I knew I had to come to terms with the fact that Bella would probably never be completely over Edward. Not that I couldn't understand that… A part of me would always belong to Alice. Always…

"Jasper?" Carmen called from upstairs, a few minutes later. I ran up to meet her.

"Eleazar's just finishing up with her, in your room," she told me. "She wants to see you." I was inside my room in a nanosecond. I was surprised to see Irina on the bed beside Bella. Eleazar was kneeling at the foot of the bed, fixing a brace to the big toe of her right foot. He looked up at me when I entered.

"She can't wait two more days for Carlisle," he said. "What I've done is okay, for now, but she needs much better attention. The break in her hand is particularly bad and she's going to have some serious bruises. However futile it might have been, she put up one hell of a fight."

"It was stupid," Bella mumbled and blushed faintly. "Laurent was right. I should know better, by now, than to try fighting a vampire."

"Nothing about what Laurent did was right," Irina said with noticeable effort.

"And the fact that you tried to fight doesn't make you stupid," Eleazar said warmly. "It makes you strong and spirited. There's nothing wrong with that, Saturno bambina."

"Thanks, Eleazar," Bella muttered shyly. Then, she looked up at me.

"Would you mind if Irina stays with me, tonight?" That was a surprising request, but who was I to discourage their new emotional bond? It might be good for them.

"Of course not," I answered Bella, giving an encouraging smile to Irina, too. "We might as well go downstairs and get Carlisle and the others on speakerphone," I said to Eleazar. "You can fill Carlisle in on Bella's condition and we can throw around some Saturno theories."

"Good idea," Eleazar agreed. "I'll meet you down there." Eleazar left the room quickly and I turned back to Bella:

"Do you want help getting to sleep?" I asked her.

"No, thanks," she yawned. "I'm tired enough and the drugs Carmen gave me will knock me out, soon. Besides, I want to talk to Irina for a little while."

"I'll leave you to it, then," I said. I turned for the door, but Bella called out for me, again:

"Jasper?" I looked back at her and she extended her uninjured hand to me, silently beckoning me toward her. I could never deny her, so I moved to her position on the bed and took her outstretched hand. She tugged me closer and I gave in to her feeble physical strength, leaning in until she had me where she wanted me. Bella stretched her neck up and her warm, soft lips touched mine. They lingered for only a moment, and then she pulled away.

"Thank you for coming after me," she said softly. I leaned in further and lightly kissed her cheek before repeating my promise in her ear:

"Always."

With that, I left Bella and Irina alone, and, as I made my way downstairs, I heard Irina begin what was sure to be a very interesting conversation:

"So, do you love him or not?"


	11. Kindred

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 11: Kindred**

**A/N: Very, very short chapter, but a necessary transition chapter. Theme song for this chapter: "It's the Only One You've Got" by 3 Doors Down.**

**Bella's POV:**

Whatever I had been expecting Irina to say, first… That wasn't it. She really didn't waste any time. This could turn a little awkward. "Jasper?" I asked, to clarify. The beautiful blonde vampire sitting on the bed beside me nodded once.

"Do you love Jasper?" She repeated her question.

"Yes," I answered her softly, but surely.

"Do you still love Edward, too?" Irina pressed.

"Yes," I answered, again. My voice sounded unsure, even to my ears, though.

"You're unsure?" Irina prodded.

"No," I tried to explain. "I mean… I don't know if I'm unsure or not." Well done, stupid human. Let's try that, again: "Yes. I do still love Edward, but… I love Jasper, too, and it's…" Say something! "It's… He's here… Jasper, I mean. Edward… When he left, I…" Never mind. Just shut up.

"Shh… It's okay," Irina surprised me by touching my shoulder soothingly. "I'm sorry if I'm coming on a little too strong. I'm not trying to interrogate you. I want to get to know you a little better, that's all… I'm just not used to interacting with humans, like this."

"It's not you," I told her. "It's just difficult for me to explain... And those painkillers Carmen gave me are no help. They make humans, like me, drowsy and… Not clearheaded." I couldn't help but laugh at my own pathetic word choice. At least I was making my point clear. Irina smiled understandingly at me.

"And, let's not forget, you have every reason to be tired, anyway," she said sadly, her smile fading even as she spoke. I was wearing a long-sleeved cotton nightgown of Esme's, so most of Laurent's bite marks were covered, but Irina's eyes still flickered over each one as if I was wearing nothing at all. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she whispered almost inaudibly, to my ears.

"I'm sorry, too," I murmured tentatively. "I'm sorry it came to that. You shouldn't have had to choose between me and him…"

"Stop it, Bella," Irina cut me off, shaking her head sharply. Her eyes came up to meet mine, again, and she sighed heavily. "Alice warned me about this. You really are so quick to blame yourself for things beyond your control. What happened wasn't your fault, Bella. I really should have seen it coming… As much as a part of me loved Laurent, I think a part of me always knew…"

"That it couldn't work?" I finished her train of thought. "That it had to end, at some point?" Irina simply nodded, lost in thought, and I plowed on: "It's like… You can feel something there… Something wrong… And you know you're powerless to make it right. And, right from the start, you're wary… You warn yourself not to get too attached, because something about the whole deal is just too good to be true, and you're going to lose it, at some point… And then you do. And, suddenly, you have this hole inside you where your heart used to be, and you just want to reach inside that hole and rip everything else out, just so there's nothing left inside you to hurt… Because it hurts so bad. It hurts, and it doesn't matter how hard you tried to prepare yourself for it or how inevitable you thought it was… It was all for nothing, because you still feel so… There's no word for it… It aches and burns, and it washes out of your chest and drowns your whole body… And you can't breathe! You just want to be happy, again, but you can't breathe!"

"Bella!" Irina pulled me into her arms and held me while I sobbed hysterically into her shoulder. My own arms were wrapped tightly around my torso, and I was gasping for air as I cried:

"I can't breathe!" I sobbed into her cold, hard shoulder. "It just hurts! I can't breathe!"

"I know it hurts, Bella," Irina tried to soothe me, stroking my hair gently as she spoke. "I understand, now. I know, Bella. I'm so sorry…"

"Damn vampires, stop it!" I screamed and thrashed feebly in Irina's arms, trying to push her away. "Stop apologizing to me! None of _you_ did this! James did this! Laurent did this! Edward did this!"

"Yes, Edward did this!" Irina sounded like she would be crying too, were it possible. Though I continued to struggle with her, she didn't let me go. "Name it, Bella!" She encouraged, "Name that pain! Call it what it is!"

"Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward!" I screamed incoherently and Irina had to grab hold of my wrists to keep me from punching the bedding with my fists and further injuring myself. I fought against her hold with every ounce of strength I had left in me, but she never released me. She held me until my screams of pain and rage dissolved into weak whimpers and sobs: "Edward did this to me," I cried softly. "He hurt me… It hurts so bad… Make it stop… Please…"

"Do you want me to get Jasper?" Irina asked me softly. Her grip on me finally relented and she began to slide out from under me. I threw myself at her and latched onto her with all the strength of a butterfly.

"No," I whimpered weakly. "Don't leave me. I… I don't want Jasper feeling this, either… Don't… Please, don't…"

"Shh…" Irina murmured softly. She lifted me off the bed, momentarily, and pulled the covers back before helping me lay back down. She climbed into the bed beside me and pulled the covers up over both of us, then, and I instinctively curled into her. She wrapped her stone arms around me and just held me close until my breathing evened out, again.

"I'm sorry I lost it, like that," I murmured, somewhat embarrassed by my behavior.

"Don't be," Irina said softly. "I think you needed that. It might help."

"Do _you_ need to lose it, like that?" I mumbled wearily. The drugs Carmen gave me were starting to take effect, and crying so hard made me very sleepy.

"No," Irina said softly. "It does hurt terribly, but… Believe it or not, Bella, what you just did helped me a lot."

"What?" I responded incredulously. Well… I tried to. It came out more like a garbled yawn. Irina laughed softly.

"I don't need Jasper's extra sense to know that you're hurting more than I am, Bella," Irina murmured sadly. "And I'm hurting a lot… More than a lot… It's not the same, though. It is, but it isn't…"

"You're starting to sound like me," I laughed drowsily, trying to lighten Irina's mood a little. She did let out another soft laugh.

"I suppose I am," She said. I felt her hand start stroking my hair, again, and my eyelids started getting heavy. "Can I ask you the same questions, again?" She asked me, after a moment.

"Mmhmm?" I mumbled and made myself look up to meet her eyes.

"Do you love Jasper?" Irina asked me.

"Yes," I murmured wearily. I lost the battle to keep my head up, then, and I let it rest on Irina's shoulder, again.

"Do you love Edward?" Was now really the best time to ask me that, again? I yawned and sighed heavily.

"I don't want to," I admitted to Irina. "I don't want to keep hurting, like this."

"You don't want to, but you still do?" Irina prodded softly. I almost missed the question, though. My eyes were getting impossibly heavy, and my mind was checking out, too.

"How do I stop?" I managed to mumble sleepily.

"I wish I could answer that, Bella." That was the last thing I heard before sleep finally claimed me: "I wish I knew."


	12. The Shield

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 12: The Shield**

**A/N: I promise the chapters in this story will get longer, again, soon. You'll see! This one's in Bella's POV. Theme song for this chapter: "Not Like the Other Girls" by The Rasmus.**

I wasn't surprised when I woke up and felt a cold, hard body next to me. What did surprise me was the fact that their touch was… Energizing me? I rolled over slowly and ended up looking into Jasper's dark honey eyes.

"Where's Irina?" I murmured drowsily and yawned. "Is she okay?" Jasper smiled at me and brushed some of my hair back from my face.

"Your concern for others is truly boundless," He whispered in the gentle cadences of centuries long gone. His gaze was full of wonder and adoration as he looked back at me, and I had to wonder what I'd done to deserve the affection of such a majestic creature. "She's fine, Bella. Doing well as can be expected, at least. She's downstairs with Tanya, now. How are _you_ feeling, sweetheart?"

"Tired," I mumbled.

"Understandable," Jasper chuckled softly. "I would have let you sleep more, of course, but we do still have to keep up appearances with your father."

"Oh!" I gasped, my heavy eyes snapping open and automatically looking out the window. It was already dark, outside. "What time is it?"

"Easy, Bella," Jasper soothed me with his voice and his gift, at the same time. "It's only eight o'clock. Charlie thinks you're having dinner with me and Emmett, before you come home. I called him while Irina was up here, with you, and explained your broken hand and toes, already: While we were playing baseball, you made a bet with Emmett that you could catch an easy pop-fly, but…"

"Let me guess," I grumbled. "I ran after the ball, but tripped and fell on my hand?"

"Close," Jasper said with a wry smile. "You just forgot what made you trip…"

"It wasn't just my own two feet?" I mumbled, trying to swallow another yawn. Jasper grinned.

"Not this time," he teased. "That wouldn't be enough to break two of your toes, as well. You weren't watching where you were going and tripped over a big rock on the ground. You ran into it hard enough to fracture your toes, and _then_ you fell on your hand."

"Perfect," I grumbled sarcastically. "Except for one point: Charlie is going to shoot Emmett. You told him I got hurt because of a bet! Wait… What, exactly, were the terms?"

"That's the part that is going to spare Emmett from having to fake a gunshot wound," Jasper chuckled, still smiling. "If you won, he wasn't allowed to watch a Bears game for the rest of the season. Because you lost, though… For the next two months, anytime Alice wants to drag you off on a shopping trip, you _have_ to go." Okay… I had to laugh, too.

"That's perfect!" I giggled. "I assume most of these 'shopping trips' will just be covers?"

"Of course," Jasper said with a conspiratorial wink. "Alice may insist on at least one or two real shopping excursions, but we have more important things to deal with, as she well knows."

"And I guess Charlie won't be too angry about the bet if I was 'taking one for the team'," I added, rolling my eyes at my own ridiculous pun. "So… When is Alice going to get here?" I asked, my voice clearly conveying that I was asking about all the others with her, too.

"Eleazar called Carlisle before I called Charlie," Jasper explained. "We all spoke to him on the speakerphone, downstairs, while you were up here speaking with Irina: Alice had an unclear vision of Edward holed up somewhere in Michigan, so they were looking for him there. They were following a few-days-old trail when we reached them. After we explained what happened, here, they decided to end their search and come straight here. They should be here by about this time, tomorrow." I nodded slowly, trying to absorb everything Jasper was telling me through my medication-induced daze. As my thoughts and memories gradually became more coherent and clear, I became more aware of the continually increasing level of pain in right hand and foot. I pulled my braced hand out from under the covers, to get a better look at it, and Jasper's contented smile fell.

"Are you in much pain?" He asked me softly, watching as I absentmindedly fingered the brace on my hand. "Do you need more medicine?"

"It hurts, but it's bearable," I murmured thoughtfully. "I've certainly had worse. My foot, actually, hurts a little worse."

"That makes sense," Jasper said, his voice equally as pensive. "The bone damage to your hand and foot are about the same, but you probably landed more kicks, trying to fight Laurent off. He bit your right wrist, and, except for the bite on your hip, all the others are above your waist. His position over you would have smothered your punches too much. You probably had a lot more leverage with your legs."

"It's probably a miracle I didn't hurt myself more than this," I groaned, throwing the soft covers of Jasper's bed completely off me and sitting up to look at my injured leg. "You'd better put all that war experience to good use and train me to fight properly, after I'm changed." There was a slightly too long beat of silence and I looked back at Jasper. He was staring at me with a somewhat guarded expression that I couldn't understand.

"So…" He began slowly. "You do still want to be changed?"

"Well… Yes," I murmured tentatively, still confused by his change in behavior. "I mean, I've already been bitten six times without changing. That's getting a little ridiculous… And with all this 'Child of Saturn' stuff, it kind of seems like I should… But, more than that, thinking of you, Alice, Irina, Carmen… Everyone… I couldn't bear to lose all of you, again. I love all of you. Especially you, Jasper. I… Want to stay with you. All of you… Forever. As long as you'll have me…?" Jasper's expression was still guarded; still closed off to me, so I had no way to gauge his reaction to my words. Hadn't he heard me and Irina talking? Didn't he know I loved him? That I _wanted_ to let go of Edward and give my whole heart to him? Wasn't that what he wanted…?

There was another second of silence. Then, Jasper's smooth mask fell away and all my questions were answered:

It was difficult to tell what hit me first, the veritable tidal wave of love and joy that Jasper released, or Jasper, himself. Either way, I suddenly found myself on my back, again, with Jasper carefully holding himself over me, only letting me feel just enough of his weight against me. His cool lips claimed mine in a searing, ecstatic kiss, and the world around us melted away. Jasper was carefully holding my right hand still, so I wouldn't further injure myself, but I was still able to grab a fistful of his hair with my left hand and pull him even closer. The kiss only ended when I needed to breathe. Even then, though, Jasper moved to leave a trail of open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck, carefully avoiding the spot where Laurent had bitten me.

"Why are you still waiting for me to reject you, Bella?" He whispered breathlessly, in between kisses. "It's always there: This part of you that is always braced in defense, waiting for a blow that isn't coming. I'm not going to push you away, Bella. I never will. I know it's in your nature to shield, Bella, but please… Please trust me enough to let me in."

"But I _do_ trust you Jasper," I gasped, tugging his face up to meet mine. His eyes were swirling pools of onyx as he gazed back at me. I had to make him understand: "You know I trust you. That isn't the issue. I don't mean to block you out, in any way. I just…"

"Bella," Jasper whispered, holding up his weight with one arm while he brought his other hand up to touch my face, lightly grazing my heated lips with his cool thumb. "Say the words, right now. Look in my eyes and tell me what you've already told me, once more. Just say it simply and clearly, with no filter." His words were somewhat ambiguous, but I still knew exactly what he wanted: He, surely, did hear me tell Irina that I loved him. And, moments ago, I told him I loved him… Along with everyone else. I looked in his eyes and tried to say the three words, by themselves, with no filter… But the words got caught in my chest, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. Jasper sent me a wave of calm and rolled off of me, pulling me into his arms and holding me while I gasped for breath.

"That's the shield I'm talking about, Bella," he murmured softly, stroking my hair and sending more soothing waves into me while my breathing quieted, again. "Sweetheart, I know you love me," He whispered with such intense feeling, I started to cry. "I feel it all the time and I've heard you say it, but you're still afraid to say it to my face. You're still afraid to say the words without a buffer… Understand this, though, Bella: I want nothing more than to spend forever with you, and I feel truly honored that you want to spend eternity with me. The moment you want to be changed, say the word, and it will be done… I only hope…"

"What, Jasper?" I sniffed. "What do you want? I'm so sorry… I'll do anything. Please…" Jasper gently pushed me back until he could meet my watery eyes with his. He paused, then he leaned in and gently kissed away the warm tears on my cheeks before recapturing my eyes, again.

"All I want is your happiness, love," He whispered, his rich, honeyed voice music in my ears. "I only hope you and I can get through this, before you change… I don't know what it would do to you; how it would manifest in this life… Being a newborn vampire is difficult enough, and with your being a Saturno, on top of that… I just don't want you to hurt, anymore, Bella. My word still stands: The moment you ask to be changed, you will be… I'm just worried about you, sweetheart, that's all. I love you more than anything, and I just want you to be happy."

I wanted to return the sentiment: I love you. I wanted to say those words, plain and simple, out loud. I could think them. I could scream in the safe haven of my mind, but, for some reason… I couldn't force them across my lips. So, I had to make my lips do _something _meaningful: I tilted my head up until I could touch Jasper's cool, marble lips with mine. He responded immediately; passionately. He pulled me on top of him, again being careful of my broken hand and toes, and he returned my kiss fervently. His tongue pressed against my lips, requesting access, and I was quick to give in. Anything he wanted from me, I wanted to give, and I knew the reverse was also true. So, I would not ask to be changed until I could give him that one thing he wanted… That one thing we both _needed_… Before I sought forever, I had to say, aloud, the words my mind had running on repeat:

_I love you, Jasper. _


	13. Venom and Small Victories

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 13: Venom and Small Victories**

**A/N: Bella's POV. Theme song: "Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own" by U2. Twist to come... Guess who is coming back in the next chapter... ;)**

When Jasper brought me back to Charlie's, there were still a few holes in our cover story to fill. Thankfully, Jasper handled each slip flawlessly: Who braced my hand and toes? He did. Carlisle walked him through it over the phone and promised to check on me as soon as he arrived, tomorrow. What happened to my clothes? Emmett offered to wash them, himself, because he felt guilty for roping me into the bet and was trying to make up for it… Without calling it off. A deal's a deal… Alice would find a look-alike of my destroyed sweater to pass off for the real article, later. Charlie wouldn't notice the difference.

As soon as Jasper and I were safely inside my room, I had to laugh a little. I used to reprimand Edward for messing with other humans, but, now, I just found it hilarious. Humans really are so easily manipulated... Wait a minute… When did I start thinking of humans as a separate species from myself?

"Well, you really aren't completely human, are you?" Jasper chuckled wryly. Apparently, I spoke that last question, aloud. "You're a Saturno in human form," Jasper continued matter-of-factly. "There's a difference. To classify you as a 'human' is probably incorrect. You're more of an… 'Unevolved supernatural creature'…?" There was a beat of silence while Jasper and I each processed that name. Then, we were both laughing, again.

"I still can't wrap my head around that," I said, after we both collected ourselves. "I'm used to knowing a lot of supernatural creatures, by now, but I have trouble thinking of myself as being one, too… Then again, that would explain why I never felt like I could really fit in with other humans. All along, I was associating with the wrong species…" After another round of laughter, Jasper pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.

"You know where you belong, now," He murmured into my hair, never releasing me. In fact, he hugged me even closer. I easily could have stayed there all night, but Charlie came knocking at my bedroom door, a moment later. Trying to keep the peace, Jasper left quickly, after that… Of course, he just jumped back in through my window, once Charlie was asleep…

Jasper kept my dreams away all night. I was beyond grateful. Despite the lack of troubling dreams, though, I was instantly tense when I woke up. The rest of the Cullens were coming… All of them but Edward, at least… My stomach was in knots at the thought. Of course, Jasper noticed.

"Don't do this, again, Bella," He murmured softly in my ear, lightly stroking my hair with his cool fingers. "Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Rosalie… They're your family, Bella. They all love you and want to help you. That's why they're coming. Please don't be afraid." Unsure of how to respond to that, I quickly changed the subject:

"What about the wolves?" I asked, my voice cracking. There was a tingling, raw feeling in my throat, probably caused by all the screaming and crying, yesterday. "How do we explain all this to them? My being a Saturno and everything…? They won't understand…" Jasper cut off my fretful mumbling with a quick kiss.

"Bella, if anyone can understand your situation, the pack should," he whispered in such a way as to warn me of Charlie's close proximity. "They're part-humans, too… I need to go, Bella. I'll come pick you up in a few hours." I sat up to give Jasper a quick goodbye kiss… And he had to dart out my window, two full minutes later, when Charlie knocked lightly on my door. I rubbed my face into my pillow a couple times, to cover the evidence.

"Yeah?" I called with a fairly convincing fake yawn, my hoarse voice conveniently cracking, again. Charlie opened the door slowly and peered into my room without walking in.

"Erm… Sorry if I woke you, Bells," he began awkwardly. "I thought I heard you moving in here and I made… Well… I _tried_ to make us some French toast. It's a little on the soggy side, but not too bad… If you're hungry?" Oh, no. Charlie tried to cook for me… That's the Chief Swan equivalent of 'we need to talk'. This was sure to be interesting…

"I'll be right down, Dad, thanks." Charlie made a mercifully quick exit after that. I tried to clear my head for whatever was coming… Surely, it wouldn't be too bad… Would it?

When I walked into the kitchen, a minute later, Charlie was absentmindedly picking at the plate of soppy food in front of him, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. He didn't look up at me until I sat down and forced a bite of my own breakfast:

"You and Jasper seem to be getting along well, Bells," he began tentatively. Of course he would choose now to talk about this… "Are you two…? Well… Are you and Jasper…?" As Charlie continued to mumble awkwardly, my face grew continually more red. I decided to risk taking the lead in the conversation:

"Dating?" I offered tentatively. Charlie mumbled something unintelligible and nodded once. 'Dating' was probably the wrong word for it, but it was the safest one, for now. I nodded. "Yes." Charlie looked like he was about to say something else, but I cut him off: "Look, Dad, I know what you're going to say…" I began. It took a lot of effort to say the next word, but I forced it out: "Edward. He's… He left, Dad. You know that. He didn't want to be with me, anymore. That was hard to get over. I'm sorry you had to see… The way I reacted… But it's not the same with Jasper. Before he split with Alice, we didn't really take the time to get to know each other very well, but… We love each other, Dad. And Alice is okay with it… All the Cullens, are."

"Including Edward?" Charlie asked, surprised.

"Probably not," I admitted, ignoring the way my stomach flipped when Charlie mentioned Edward, again. "Jasper told you Edward isn't really in contact with the rest of the family, remember? He went off on his own."

"Right," Charlie conceded. "Jasper did mention that… Among other things." Charlie muttered that last part almost inaudibly, so I pretended I didn't hear him, as he probably intended. For the first time this morning, he looked me straight it the eye: "Are you _sure_ about this, Bells?" He asked me in earnest. "Are you sure this isn't just… A rebound? I just don't want to see you hurt, again…"

"I'll be fine, Dad," I interrupted before he could go any further. Then, I made a move to change the subject: "I need to get cleaned up, though. Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens are due to get here in a few hours. Jasper's coming to pick me up."

"Yeah, okay," Charlie almost sighed, clearly relieved to be done with out 'talk'. I took full advantage and made a quick exit.

Sure enough, a few hours later, Jasper arrived in Carlisle's Mercedes. My stomach twisted in knots when I first saw the car, but only Jasper came. As soon as we were both in the car, Jasper grabbed my unharmed left hand and began combating my escalating nerves with waves of calm. "You have nothing to worry about, Bella," he reminded me once more. I nodded mutely, in response.

When we arrived at the house and no one immediately came charging out, I assumed they were wary of overwhelming me. It was almost like the first time I met them, here, all over again. They didn't want to startle the delicate human. It may be true that I'm not entirely human, after all, but I am still the physically and emotionally fragile one, here. I'm still the weak link they have to be gentle with, especially in my current state: Both literally and figuratively broken. What a great way to start over…

"Bella?" Jasper had already opened my door was holding out his hand, to help me out of the car. I guess he realized carrying me wasn't a good idea, right now. I needed to feel somewhat in control of myself… I needed some sense of stability if I was going to do this. Still, Jasper looked worried. I barely felt the waves of calm he was still projecting. Again, he was backing off a little; letting me go through this at my own pace. I took his waiting hand and he helped me to my feet. We walked up to the front door at human pace and I drew one more calming breath, making my sore throat sting a little worse. I looked up at Jasper and nodded, and he opened the door.

Eleazar, Carmen, Tanya, Kate, and Irina were all standing off to one side, in the dining room entryway. I could feel them all watching me, but my eyes only passed over them for a second. About fifteen feet away from them, five more vampires stood at the outer perimeter of the living room: Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice. Emmett, of course, had already been here for a few days. His position with the others just lent a little more solidarity to the situation. Moving quickly over him, my eyes settled on Alice, first. Even to my eyes, she seemed to be straining to keep still and quiet. While I was still ridiculously nervous, I found myself holding back a wry laugh.

"Alice, you weren't this patient when we _first_ met," I reminded her softly. That was all the permission she needed. She sprang at me too quickly for my eyes to follow and she was suddenly hugging me. I tensed involuntarily, for a moment, but a slightly stronger wave of ease from Jasper helped me relax in her embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she began without releasing me. "I should have seen it! I should have been watching you more closely! I knew it was stupid to listen to Edward!" I tensed, again, and Alice instantly realized her mistake. She fell silent and stepped back from me, smiling apologetically.

"It's okay," I said in a voice that would be inaudible to human ears. Though I knew everyone in the room still heard me, I tried again: "None of what happened was your fault, Alice," I said. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't." Carlisle spoke up. "We left you in this mess, Bella. We should have realized it wasn't safe, for you. It won't happen, again. We will all swear to that… How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle's gaze had wandered to my braced hand. His eyes flickered down to glance at my feet, too. I was wearing an old sneaker on my uninjured foot, but I wore a house shoe on my right. Carlisle's topaz eyes were full of concern when they met mine, again. I paused a moment, before answering his question, taking careful inventory of any physical pains in my body, so I could give an honest answer:

"Actually, I'm not feeling much pain at all," I said, my voice conveying my own surprise. I'd been so busy worrying about seeing everyone, again, that I'd mostly ignored my physical condition. I really was in surprisingly little pain… Except… "Honestly, this sore throat I got from screaming so much, yesterday, hurts worse than any of the bites or broken bones. I know that sounds strange, but it's true."

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" Jasper's sudden question almost made me jump. Carlisle looked at Jasper for a moment, but made not immediate answer. I wasn't the only one in the room looking between Carlisle and Jasper, then, waiting for an explanation. Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Eleazar, Carmen, Tanya, Kate, and Irina were all statue-still and silent. Nine pairs of dark golden eyes were trained carefully on Carlisle and Jasper. Carlisle looked back at me.

"Why don't you let me take a look, Bella?" He asked me, and even I could tell his voice was forced calm. "Make sure everything is healing right?" There was a moment of tense, ringing silence, following Carlisle's request. Why was he avoiding Jasper's question? Thoroughly confused and nervous as hell, I followed Carlisle up to his office in compliant silence. No one followed behind us.

"Are you in any additional pain, now, Bella?" He asked me as soon as his office door was closed behind us. I looked up at him, confused. "Well, you just walked up two flights of stairs without assistance," he explained. "Your right foot is injured, so it's a reasonable question." I blinked and looked down at my injured foot. What the…?

"Why didn't that hurt?" I asked dumbly, not really expecting an answer, but not knowing what else to say.

"That's what has me puzzled, I'm afraid," Carlisle answered, anyway. "I do have a theory, but we'll get to that in a moment. Come sit down, Bella?" Carlisle guided me over to the large chair behind his desk and helped me sit down while I tried to get control of my suddenly raging nerves. What was wrong with me, now?

"Let me take a look at your hand, first, Bella?" I nodded torpidly and held out my injured right hand. It only took Carlisle a moment to gingerly but dexterously remove Eleazar's brace, then he was inspecting my bare and surprisingly unbruised hand with feather-light touches. I felt very little pain throughout the entire process until…

"Ow," I flinched and reflexively pulled my hand back. Carlisle gave me a brief, apologetic smile. "Sorry, Bella. It was the only way to tell," he said in a strangely dark tone of voice that didn't suit him.

"Tell what?" I asked. Carlisle sighed and looked at me gravely.

"Bella, do you even realize just how much pressure I was applying to your hand, when I hurt you?" I was growing more confused by the second. Carlisle grabbed a pen out of the cup on his desktop and held it up in front of me pointedly. I nodded, to affirm that he had my attention, and he promptly snapped the pen between two of his fingers. My mouth fell open in shock and I had to force it shut.

"Y-you did that to _me_?" I spluttered. Carlisle kept his eyes on mine while he reached for my injured hand, again. I instinctively tensed a little, but didn't flinch away from his touch.

"Not where the bone is fractured, if it _is _still fractured," he began. "This spot where both Laurent and James bit you," he continued, "where the layered scars have made your skin harder and cooler." Carlisle traced one finger over the crisscrossing scars on my hand and understanding finally started sinking in.

"You had to press harder there, to hurt me, because that part of my skin is stronger." I said. Carlisle nodded, once, and glanced down at my right foot. He gave me a quick, inquiring glance, and I nodded, too. With my permission, he removed my house shoe and unbraced my foot, too. It was also unbruised, but, as there were no bite scars, there, Carlisle kept his touch gentle.

"You sounded unsure about the break in my hand?" I asked timidly, under his inspection. "Is my foot the same?" Carlisle nodded distractedly, apparently deep in thought. When he didn't speak for a moment, I couldn't resist the urge to ask another question: "How could they have healed so quickly?" I asked. Carlisle eyed me warily for a moment, then he pulled up another chair so he could sit level with me.

"Bella, I think it may have to do with the venom lingering in your system," he said slowly; delicately.

"The venom was sucked out," I automatically argued, just for something to do while my mind spun out of control. "The bite from James and all the bites from Laurent… The venom was sucked back out."

"Yet areas of your skin are harder and cooler; more like ours," Carlisle countered. "Your scarred skin seems to be stronger and more durable, too. How do you explain that without assuming venom?" That threw me through a loop. Carlisle was right, of course. Venom was the only explanation that seemed logical…

"I don't understand," I whispered, perplexed. "How…?"

"I don't want to make you too uncomfortable, Bella," Carlisle began, "but I'd like to take a look at the other bite scars, too, if you wouldn't mind?" That brought some long overdo color to my cheeks. For Carlisle to see the other bites, my sweater had to come off. He _is_ a doctor, I told myself, and I slowly made myself stand up. I pulled off my sweater and turned my focus to the various paintings in the office, while Carlisle inspected the other bites. I was looking at the one picturing the three Volturi elders when he spoke, again:

"You can cover up, again, Bella," he said in a politely indifferent voice, handing me my discarded sweater. Once I was fully dressed, again, I made myself meet Carlisle's gaze and instantly regretted it. His gaze was penetrating and inadvertently dazzling as his eyes locked onto mine, for a moment. "Describe your sore throat to me, Bella?" He asked, his gaze softening slightly, though his eyes didn't leave mine. "Is it scratchy, dry, stinging, burning…?"

"Not really scratchy," I answered promptly. "Dry, stinging, and burning, yes. It's… Tingling and raw."

"Does it sting more when you breathe deeply?" Carlisle pressed.

"Yes," I answered. Taking a deep breath to check, before repeating my answer with more certainty: "Yes."

"Hold your unscarred hand up to your face and take another deep breath," Carlisle instructed and I complied: I covered my nose and mouth with my left hand and drew another deep breath. The burning sensation in my throat increased sharply and I flinched. Then, before I realized what was happening, Carlisle's hands were pinning my arms to my sides. I blinked and gazed up at him, startled. For a moment, his eyes searched mine, and then his grip slackened.

"I apologize for that, Bella," he said slowly, "but there's something you need to see. I'm going to let go of you, but I want you to keep your hands down at your sides. Understand?" I nodded fervently and Carlisle released me, completely. "Come with me, Bella," he instructed and he led me out of his office. I followed him down the hall and, to my immense surprise, into Alice's enormous bathroom. "Look at yourself in the mirror, Bella," Carlisle instructed gently. Too gently. "Look at your eyes." I obediently turned to look at my own reflection and I gasped at the sight.

"My eyes are darker," I whispered incredulously. "They're still my usual brown, but… It's a darker shade of brown. It's not a huge difference, but it's noticeable…" I turned back to Carlisle, then, my strangely dark eyes surely conveying the fear that was suddenly shooting through me. Everything clicked into place, then, though I didn't want to believe it: "It's not a sore throat," I said. "It's… I'm…"

"Thirsty," Jasper's somber voice startled me. I spun around to see him standing in the bathroom doorway and my eyes automatically fell on the scars on his forehead. A small part of my mind registered that they were a little more visible to me, now, than they were two days ago, but the larger part of my mind went off in an entirely different direction:

"Of course," I whispered. "That's it." Jasper's deeply concerned expression morphed into one of confusion and I tried to explain my sudden tangent: "Jasper, that's why you had so much trouble getting control of your thirst," I said. "That century of war and feeding on humans was no help, but… It's not how many humans you've bitten. It's how many times _you_ were bitten. It's all the extra venom."

"I never thought of it that way," Carlisle murmured thoughtfully, "but you may have something there, Bella. If the low level of venom trapped in your body can make _you_ mildly thirsty, it could easily be argued that a vampire could absorb too much venom if repeatedly bitten, after their change, making them abnormally thirsty… It's certainly a plausible theory."

"So…" Jasper began, looking between me and Carlisle. "I had all that trouble with control because I have excess venom in me?"

"Given this new evidence from Bella's condition, that could very likely be the case, Jasper," Carlisle said. "Even in a case like Bella's, where most of the venom is removed, a small amount gets trapped inside every time. That explains Bella's rapid healing, her 'sore throat' and darker eyes… It could even explain the fact that she was able to project her gifts so well, right after Laurent's attack: That new dose of venom made her gifts stronger and more controllable. The same thing probably happened to you without you or Maria even realizing it. She kept you longer than any other newborn she created because, in many ways, you just grew continually stronger. _Every time you were bitten_. Physical and gift-related strength, thirst, our senses… It all goes back to venom. It's the venom that makes it all happen."

"Does that mean, then, that Bella will have more trouble with control, after she's changed?" Jasper asked, looking at me anxiously.

"No," Alice suddenly chirped, appearing by Jasper's shoulder. "The opposite. Experiencing thirst while she's still part-human means more time to adjust to the feeling." Alice looked at me and smiled confidently. "You'll be absolutely fine," she assured me. "As difficult as this all may be, now, it will make your newborn phase a breeze."

"Vision?" I asked her.

"You may be a Saturno, but I can still see you," she said half-teasingly. "In fact, I think you're subconsciously amplifying my gift, right now. You're almost _too_ clear."

"Good," Jasper said. "Can you see how to handle her thirst, now? We can't expect her to hunt while she's still part-human and we certainly don't want her to end up biting herself, for lack of any other option."

"Very rare steaks will take the edge off," Alice answered quickly. "Enough to make her eyes return to their usual shade of brown. It's going to be a balancing act, though," she added. "Including lightly cooked meats in her diet will help, but consuming too much iron will enrich her own blood, making her thirst flare up more frequently. It's not like she can escape the smell of her own blood, after all. Thankfully, she's relatively numb to how edible her own body smells. Other humans will be a little more difficult. How were things with Charlie, this morning, Bella?" Alice suddenly asked me.

"Nothing really out of the ordinary," I said. "Not that I noticed, anyway, but I _was_ a little preoccupied, this morning."

"You probably didn't get close enough to him," Carlisle interjected. "If your thirst can be described as a 'sore throat' the effect of the venom on your sensory perception is probably too minimal to cause a problem unless you're in _very_ close proximity with another human. Your eyes didn't even darken very much until you brought your hand right up to your face. That's why I pulled your hands away from your mouth. I knew better, of course, but, for a moment, I couldn't help but worry that you might bite yourself."

"I'd sooner try hunting," I said grimly.

"The elk would win," I heard Emmett chuckle. He, Rosalie, and Esme appeared behind Jasper and Alice, even as he spoke. "And a bears and lions are _way_ out of your league," he added with another snicker. Rosalie elbowed him in the ribs at the same time Esme smacked his arm. Emmett just laughed harder.

"Do you really think it wise to antagonize a Saturno, Emmett?" Jasper interjected tauntingly. "Much less a Saturno with a certain pack of wolves for friends?"

"_Please_," Emmett guffawed. "I could take out those fleabags with one arm chained behind my back."

"_Don't call them that_!" I growled before I could stop myself. Truly growled. I clamped one of my hands over my mouth, but too late. Everyone was staring at me. Rosalie looked shocked, Esme looked startled, Alice looked unsurprised, and Emmett looked… Impressed.

"Sister," he cooed teasingly before yanking me into one of his signature bear hugs, pulling my feet clean off the floor. "I'm so proud of you!" The ridiculous cooing continued. "Baby sister's first growl! That was so cute!"

"How's this for cute?" I growled before boldly biting his granite neck. While being careful not to break my teeth, I bit hard enough to stun him into releasing me. Emmett took a quick step back and I fell to the floor. At least Jasper was quick to join me. He collapsed to the floor positively roaring with laughter.

"Bella!" Esme was clearly shooting for scolding, but her barely restrained giggles ruined the effect. Alice was laughing, too, while Rosalie and Carlisle just watched the spectacle in relative shock. A moment later, Emmett was laughing right along with us. He even helped Jasper pull me back to my feet.

"Touché, little sis," he chuckled. "You win that one… But this means you're fair game, now." Leave it to Emmett to congratulate me and impishly threaten me, all in the same breath. "Welcome to the family."

"Yeah, you even _think_ of messing with her and see what happens to your Jeep," Jasper growled playfully.

"Hey, _wheels are off limits_!" Emmett protested. "You know the rules!"

"Rules?" I asked.

"Later, Bella," Carlisle interrupted the merriment, then. Even as his voice was firm, though, a warm smile lingered on his face. "We really should tend to your thirst, before it gets worse, and I think I should take an X-ray of your hand and foot. They seem to have already healed, but I can't be completely sure if they healed properly. We need to make sure you're taken care of, right now… We can fill you in on the pranking rules, later."

"Yes!" Emmett cheered in response to Carlisle's last remark and everyone else laughed. Even Rosalie giggled softly.

"Okay, what did we miss?" Kate demanded impatiently, appearing in the hall with Tanya, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar trailing behind her. "We _heard_ everything, but we clearly missed an essential _visual._ What did Bella do?" Kate demanded and another round of musical laughter began, even louder than the first.

There was still a difficult road ahead, I thought to myself, but now the fight would be easier. Now, the fight would feel more worthwhile. Now, there was something worth fighting _for._


	14. Iago

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 14: Iago**

**A/N: Jasper's POV in the next chapter. This one is in Bella's POV. The chapter title is another _Othello _reference. Theme song for this chapter: "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette.**

By now, I was used to waking up in Jasper's protective embrace. I even spent one painful and awkward night in Irina's arms... Somehow, I just wasn't ready to wake up and find Alice sitting next to me.

"Alice! What…? What's going on? Where's Jasper?"

"He's out hunting, I think. I'm not exactly sure."

"_You _aren't sure? Alice, can't you see him?"

"I'm focusing on something else, right now, Bella. I'm not watching Jasper. Whatever he's doing, he'll be fine, and I'm sure he'll be back, soon."

Alice had yet to look at me. She was just sitting statue-still beside me, staring off into space. I knew that look, though.

"What are you watching? You're so focused…?" Alice blinked and finally met my eyes with hers: Pitch black. She was clearly thirsty, but just as clearly preoccupied with something else…

"It's Edward," She said softly. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe. Alice waited patiently, her eyes never leaving my face. When my heart rate steadied, she continued: "I don't want you to panic, Bella, but you need to know this: He's coming here. He should be here late tonight. I can't see why he's coming, though. That's what I'm looking for. Edward knows my blind spots, though. He knows what I can and can't see. I can tell he wants to speak with you. I keep seeing you two together in the woods, but it gets fuzzy beyond that."

"W-why would he want to talk to me?" I gasped, despite the knot in my chest. "He doesn't want... I mean, he didn't want… Why?"

"I don't know, Bella," Alice repeated. "That's why Jasper stepped out for a minute. Needless to say, he's not happy… Something wrong, Bella? Other than what I just told you?" The spike in my heart rate must have given me away.

"Um… Sorry, Alice. It's just… We haven't really talked about that, since you've been back. Me and Jasper, I mean..."

"Oh, Bella, don't even start!" Alice interrupted, rolling her eyes slightly. "All those horror stories about girlfriends and ex-girlfriends don't apply, here. I'm the one who had the vision. I saw all this coming, and it's really okay. I'll meet my new mate, soon, too."

"You know who it is?" I gasped, shocked.

"Not exactly," Alice amended. "I had a new vision, yesterday. For the first time, I got a clear look at his face, and I know his name is Irwin. For now, that's all I have to go on, but that's how I first saw Jasper, so…"

"Soon, though? Do you know when exactly…?"

"No. Sometime within the next month, I think. The details aren't set in stone, yet. All that aside, though Bella… Jasper was an important phase of my life. I'll always love him, of course, but he found a better match in you, and I'll find a better match in Irwin. I was what Jasper needed for a while, and he was what I needed, but now our needs have changed. I need… Whatever Irwin has to offer… And Jasper needs you, now."

"And I need him." I whispered, on the verge of tears.

"I know you do," Alice said to me, smiling softly. She pulled me closer to her with one hand and kissed my cheek lightly. "Be good to him, sis," she said. "You both mean a lot to me." After that, Alice stared off into space, again. I buried my face in my pillow with a heavy sigh. Edward left me, and I chose Jasper. How could I face Edward, now…?

When Jasper wasn't back, three hours later, Alice told me to go meet Charlie at the diner for lunch. "Rare steak," she reminded me. "Don't let yourself get too thirsty." She said that while bounding out my window and diving into the shadows, avoiding the unusual amount of sunlight outside. That piqued my curiosity. If my thirst was growing steadily worse, and my gifts were growing stronger… I walked over to my window and held my scarred wrist in the direct sunlight.

"Carlisle will probably want to see this," I murmured to myself when my scarred skin glistened like snow in the sunlight. It wasn't full-on vampire sparkle, but the effect was definitely too conspicuous for other humans to see. I would have to cover up all my scars.

Despite the sun, it was still early January in Forks, so I didn't look too conspicuous when I walked into the diner wearing a lightweight turtleneck sweater and gloves. Charlie was already waiting at our usual table. I started toward him, and that's when the trouble began: Walking by a couple full tables along the wall, I caught a whiff of something that made my throat burn. It was a very pleasant smell, but I couldn't put a name to it. I just knew I wanted to taste it. I looked down at the tables, wondering what food the people there were eating… But they were still reading their menus…

"Steak, please," I said to the waitress standing conveniently close to Charlie's table. "Rare… And a side salad, please," I added, to give some illusion of normalcy. I sat down across from Charlie, deliberately putting as much distance between us as possible, while still sharing the same table. I fleetingly thought back to those first weeks with Edward and realized how difficult those days in the cafeteria really must have been for him… For all the Cullens, really… Here, I wasn't even a true vampire, yet, and I was already dodging humans due to my thirst. And Jasper… Suddenly, I had a whole new appreciation for his struggle, and I loved him even more for it.

"Same, but make mine medium," Charlie said to the waitress. When she was out of earshot, Charlie raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. "Since when are you much of a steak-eater, Bells?" He asked. "Much less rare steaks… Medium is as red as I'll go." Thankfully, I already knew how to answer that one:

"Last night, I told Carlisle about how tired I've been lately, and he said to increase my protein and iron intake. Rare steaks are supposedly a better source for both, as opposed to overcooked versions. Don't know if it's true…" I tried to add that last part on casually and noncommittally. I was getting better at lying, but I was still learning the real art of it. Emmett made sure to give me one key pointer: Always water down a lie with something true or neutral. At any rate, Charlie seemed to buy it:

"I guess I should have thought of that," he laughed. "You still won't catch me eating a steak that's still kicking, but I guess it makes sense. I won't judge."

"Sure you won't, Dad," I said, rolling my eyes as a way of avoiding eye contact. "That's not your job, anyway."

"Hey, don't you start on my job, Bells!" Charlie laughed, again. "I've been working hard, lately, and you know it. That bear is still causing trouble, after all…" Charlie continued on with his update, but he lost me at the word 'bear'. Poor, oblivious human. If only he knew…

* * *

_Unkindness may do much, and his unkindness may defeat my life, but never taint my love._

I opened to a random page of _Othello_, just for something to do while I waited for Jasper to come. It was almost twilight outside, and I had yet to see him. I found Desdemona's monologue and that line jumped out at me.

"Please don't tell me you're lingering over the death scene, again, darling Desdemon," Jasper said softly as he leapt in through my window. I forced a smile at his little joke and dropped the book letting it fall shut on the bed beside me. Jasper walked forward and held out his hand for me to take, pulling me gently to my feet when I did so. "I'm sorry if my behavior upset you, Bella," he said in earnest. "I'm just worried… And angry, though not with you. When Alice told me… All I could think of was how he hurt you, and how much I wanted to prevent such a thing from happening, again. I don't know what Alice may or may not have told you, but I went looking for Edward, trying to intercept him before he could get here. After a few hours of running, though… I decided I had no right to keep you and Edward apart. It needs to be your choice. Though I may not like it, I won't interfere with that…"

That was a lot to process. So, to buy myself time, I took a step forward and buried my face in Jasper's stone chest. He wrapped his arms around me automatically, and I just let him feel everything I was feeling, knowing words would fail me. Still, after a moment, I felt the need to try:

"I can't say I'm surprised, Jasper. I'm not angry, either. I understand it… But I am glad you stopped. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I know I need to…" I was aware of Jasper's grip on me growing slowly tighter, and I knew why, even without him telling me. The problem was that I didn't know what the right thing to say to him was. So, I settled for letting him feel all my love for him. Words might betray me, but my feelings can't lie, as he knows all too well.

"I know you do," was all he whispered to me, after a moment. Apparently, even he was at a loss for what to say…

An hour after Jasper's return, I was sitting in the Cullen living room, feeling unbearably out-of-place. All the vampires around me were walking on eggshells. They all seemed to think I would shatter into a million pieces if they so much as breathed on me. Not much was being said aloud, but I didn't really need Jasper's help to figure out what everyone was feeling. Esme's face hid nothing. She was watching me with open concern and pain in her eyes. Emmett kept clenching and unclenching his massive fists, seemingly subconsciously, and he was clearly agitated. Tanya was sitting alone by the back windows, staring off into space. And Alice… Had a headache, by now. I didn't think such a thing was possible for vampires, but that's the conclusion anyone looking at her would draw: She was massaging her temples with her fingers, her brow was furrowed in concentration, and she seemed uncharacteristically fatigued. Honestly, her behavior was the most unnerving of all…

"Alice, please just stop trying," I said softly, after a few minutes. "You're clearly getting nowhere. For all we know, you're having so much trouble seeing Edward because one of the wolves is following him… He's due to be here any minute. We'll just have to go into this one blind."

"I can't do that, Bella," Alice half-growled, half-grumbled. "Yes, Edward is due here any minute, and we still have no idea why. That is _not_ okay…"

Just then, an idea came to mind. A part of me felt awful for thinking so deceptively… After all, this was Edward, not Victoria… But my gut was telling me to be prepared, so I had to follow through: "Alice, can I borrow your cellphone?" That got everyone's attention.

"What do you need it for, Bella?" She asked me even as she darted across the room to retrieve her phone. Even as she handed it to me, she prodded me further: "What are you thinking?"

"Don't ask, Alice," I responded quickly, tucking the phone into my jacket pocket. "Don't try to see it, either. I don't want Edward to know what I'm doing, and I haven't practiced with my shield enough to block all of you from him consistently and reliably. You just need to trust me, okay?"

"Bella," Jasper started to argue, but I held up a silencing hand.

"Please, Jasper," I pleaded. "Don't fight me on this. I know what I'm doing. Trust me."

"It's not a matter of trust, Bella," Jasper began, again. "Of course I trust you, but Edward…"

"Is here," Alice murmured and the whole room fell silent. "He's a mile off. He'll be within earshot in a second…" I jumped to my feet and ran over to Jasper, kissing his cheek and giving his cool hand a light squeeze.

"Trust me," I whispered once more. Less than thirty seconds later, there was a tentative knock on the door. Low warning growls filled the room, but Carlisle gave everyone a staying glance and went to open the door.

"Edward, it's good to see you, again," Carlisle said conventionally as he let Edward in. "It's been a while. Esme and I were starting to worry." A small part of my mind noted the fact that Carlisle only said 'Esme and I', but such little details were lost on me when Edward came into full view.

"Hello everyone," He said to the room, though his bright gold eyes looked only at me. "Hello, Bella," he said gently. For a moment, I stared speechlessly back at him: He looked just as I remembered him. Barely a hair out of place. Somehow, that observation caused me pain. The nearly healed hole in my chest tingled and throbbed. Was I really so inconsequential to him that he could appear so entirely unaffected?

"Hello, Edward," I murmured despondently, suddenly not so confident in myself. How was I going to do this? For some reason, Edward smiled faintly.

"Bella, are you unintentionally shielding everyone, or should I be worried?" He asked casually. I blinked and, for a moment, my mind went completely blank.

"You knew?" Jasper suddenly growled, jumping to his feet while his dark gold eyes went completely black with cold fury. "You knew she could project it?"

"I've known for quite some time, Jasper," Edward said flatly. "That's exactly why I'm here. I know Bella is a Saturno, and I know I need to explain why I left her so suddenly, despite that knowledge. If it's all the same to you, though, I think Bella deserves to hear the truth, first? Bella," he said, his eyes still on me, "I know how you must be feeling right now, but please come walk with me for a minute? I know I hurt you, but please trust me enough to let me explain?" Jasper growled lowly and took a step toward Edward, but I ran three steps forward, to put myself between the two vampires.

"Don't, Jasper!" I choked out, my throat inconveniently tight with emotion. "Please, just let me speak to him!" I placed a staying hand on Jasper's chest and he gradually relaxed under my touch. He looked down at me and, for a moment, I was lost in his passion-filed gaze… And then it was gone. Jasper seemed to shut down right before my eyes. His expression went blank and he stepped back from my hand, detaching himself both physically and emotionally. It would have been less painful if he'd punched me in the stomach. I drew a shaky breath and fought back the tears in my eyes that threatened to brim over, and I turned to face Edward.

"Okay," I whispered, taking a tentative step toward him. "Let's go… Talk, I mean." Edward held out his hand for me to take, but I shook my head once, refusing the offer. Instead, I took a few more steps past him and led the way back outside. Edward followed me silently, and no one tried to stop us. For a minute or so, we walked in silence, and I used the time to clear my head as much as possible. I casually tucked both of my hands in my pockets, as we walked, and my right hand brushed against Alice's cellphone.

"Are you looking for a specific place, Bella?" Edward softly inquired, after another minute or so. "I just wanted to speak to you out of earshot of the others. There's no need to tire yourself with a long hike, unless that's just your preference."

"No, here is fine," I said, trying to sound calm and collected, though I knew Edward could hear my heart pounding. He didn't mention it, so I assumed he was writing it all off as understandable apprehension, luckily for me. Trying to keep my movement minimal, I blindly felt the keypad on Alice's phone with my thumb. When I found what I hoped was the send button, I held it down for a couple seconds and prayed that the last number Alice called wasn't a currently vacant house in Alaska.


	15. Never Let Me Go

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 15: Never Let Me Go**

**A/N: Jasper's POV. One note before you proceed, though: I highly recommend taking a quick look back at chapter 1. I've received so many questions about what was said about Edward in that chapter. Well, the answers can be found here. At last! Theme song for this chapter: An encore of "What Have You Done" by Within Temptation. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

As soon as Carlisle closed the door behind Bella and Edward, Alice closed her eyes, focusing entirely on seeing what Bella was up to. Apparently, she got her answer quickly, because she turned to glare at me only a few seconds later.

"What was _that_ about?" She demanded in a half-growl. I was taken aback, but still reacted defensively, purely out of instinct:

"If you're referring to my near-attack on Edward, Alice, you should know Emmett was about to do the same, himself. I could feel it. Even Irina was resisting the urge to take him down."

"Yes, and so was I," Alice grumbled, rolling her eyes. "I'm talking about what you did to Bella, not Edward." That one caught me off guard. It was at that moment, a minute too late, that I realized what she was talking about:

"Dammit," I growled, mentally kicking myself. "I wasn't even focusing on Bella's emotions, Alice, I swear it. I felt the tension in the room getting to me, so, when Bella jumped between me and Edward, I shut down completely. I wasn't even thinking of how Bella might react to that, though… Dammit, I'm only just realizing I _did_ feel it. I just wasn't paying attention." At that point, I started calling myself ten kinds of idiot. Most of it, I kept to myself, but some of my self-insults were spoken aloud.

"Easy, Jazz," Alice sighed after a moment, all anger gone from within her. "What you did is understandable, when you put it that way. I'm sure Bella will forgive you." I shook my head, still in utter disbelief of my own behavior.

"It wasn't just what happened in this room, though, was it?" I asked rhetorically. "I took off first thing this morning, only going back to see her a little over an hour ago. More than anything, she needed my comfort and support, today, and I chose today to completely lose it. Here, the person who hurt her so much has returned, and I just poured salt in the wound by hurting her, myself… I have to go after them," I quickly decided, starting to step around Alice. "I have to apologize to Bella. I need to be there with her." I was almost to the door when Alice leapt in front of me.

"No, Jazz," she said warningly, sinking into a defensive stance. She was ready to fight me, if need be. That fact alone made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle asked, always the voice of reason in this family. Alice looked at him as though she was about to answer, but then she gasped and held up a silencing finger to the room.

"Rosalie, answer your phone," Alice ordered, pinning Rose with a don't-even-think-about-saying-no stare. "Now. Open it, but no one say a word." Rosalie blinked once, taken aback, but she reached for her cellphone without argument. The phone vibrated in her hand once, and her dark eyes widened in surprise. She quickly pressed the 'ok' button, and the most beautiful voice in the world spoke into the room, though the sound was a little muffled:

"So… You know I'm a Saturno? How long have you known, Edward? And why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was expecting you to start with a different question," a contrastingly horrible voice responded, "but I'm glad you started with this… I know this probably won't make sense to you, Bella, but just let me explain myself before you say anything more, okay?"

"I understand a lot more than you might think, Edward," Bella replied. "And no, I'm not going to promise you anything… Never again… But, please go on and answer me." My still heart promptly swelled with pride. Bella was standing up to Edward. Maybe she _was_ ready for this…

"Of course." Edward's voice sounded contrite, but there was no telling if the emotion was genuine. None of us could see his face, and he was out of range of my gift. "I, like everyone else, regarded your immunity to my gift as random and inconsequential for a time. That assumption began to change that night I found you in Port Angeles." There was a barely audible, sharp intake of breath, and an odd rustling noise. Alice caught my eye and touched her pocket, silently explaining the noise.

"That long ago?" Bella gasped.

"I'm afraid so," Edward half-laughed. He really had some nerve. It was an intense struggle to not growl in outrage and give Bella away. "When I finally saw you in the minds of those men, it took an unusual amount of effort for me to stay attuned to them. At first, I thought my focus was just hampered by my overwhelming concern for your safety. The more I thought about it, though… I realized you were inadvertently projecting your gift, even then. You were, by no means, deliberately shielding your attackers, but you were reacting defensively, all the same. Your shield must have been shooting in and out haphazardly, projecting out around those men and then retracting, allowing me to hear them."

"Okay…" Bella began slowly. "I guess that makes sense, but that was only one gift: My shield…"

"I didn't become aware of your second gift until that night we met James," Edward quickly explained. "When James and I nearly came to blows, right there in that field, I realized my gift was sharper than usual. That realization coupled with the thoughts I picked up from James…"

"What thoughts?" Bella was quick to pounce on that slip. That's my girl.

"Bella, though James was a tracker, tracking gifts have many subtle variations. James' gift was somewhat like Eleazar's. He tracked his prey by picking up on their gifts. Though your shield prevented him from getting a clear reading on you, he _could _tell that you were not only gifted, but dually so." There was a long pause before Bella spoke. When she did, her voice shook slightly with some emotion:

"That night, you told me James chose to hunt me for the challenge of it," she began. "You said he saw it as his 'most exciting game ever'...?" I could almost see Edward nodding his head slowly.

"Yes," he confessed. "James knew, then, that you were a Saturno, just as I did. The fact that you had so many vampires protecting you added to the challenge, but what he was most interested in was the challenge of killing a Saturno. You see, Bella, it may be that all the humans James ever killed had some dormant gift within them. That, more than the scent of their blood, is what drew him in. That's the real reason he tried to kill Alice, all those years ago. It could be argued that he was, quite literally, hardwired to kill off humans that could potentially become gifted vampires. Even Victoria was unaware of it, but…It was his nature."

"And a Saturno is the _most_ gifted kind of vampire," Bella said slowly, as realization sank in.

"To him, you were the holy grail among all his past prey," Edward said. "That was when I realized we could never change you…"

"What?" Bella spluttered, clearly shocked by his distorted reasoning. "_That_'_s_ why you refused to change me? Not because you were trying to spare my soul, but because you knew what I would become?"

"Bella, please calm down," Edward argued. "You're missing the whole point."

"What, exactly, am I missing Edward?" Bella growled. A real growl that probably threw Edward through a loop. I fleetingly wished I could see the dumbstruck look on his face. "You told me you loved me and that you wanted me forever," Bella raged on, "but you just changed your mind when you realized how powerful I could be? You know, your ego is absurdly inflated, even for a vampire!" That was very nearly our undoing. Emmett clamped his hand over his mouth just in time to muffle the snicker that escaped him. Kate even threw a mock punch in the air, silently cheering Bella on.

"Bella, it has nothing to do with ego, at all!" Edward protested, recollecting himself. "You're reading into this all wrong. I did love you, and I still do! I'll always love you, but I know the danger changing you will pose to you and everyone else!" There was a ringing silence on both ends of the line, then. That Edward would dare use _that_ word…

"Bella, what James did was just the tip of the iceberg," Edward continued softly enough that we could hear the crunching sound of his footsteps, as he moved closer to Bella. I pictured him reaching out to touch Bella, and it was all I could do to not growl in fury. "Even in human form, you're in more danger than I think you realize."

"No," Bella argued feebly. "Jasper and Eleazar told me… I know some others might want to change me, for themselves…"

"And when you stubbornly refuse to betray your friends and family, they'll kill you, rather than let someone else have you," Edward interrupted. "And that's only while you remain in human form. Despite what you may think, Bella, the danger will only increase if you're changed. Other vampires will feel threatened by you, even if it's irrationally so. Whole covens will unite to take you down, simply because your existence will lower their own status. Most vampires live in false comfort, because they don't believe their power to be rivaled by anything. True werewolves are all but extinct. Powerful shape-shifters, like the ones in La Push… That's what they really are, by the way: Shape-shifters that just happen to change into mammoth wolves. I don't know if anyone has told you… Their kind are few and far between. Threats to vampires are virtually non-existent. The Volturi only hold so much influence because of their large numbers and powerful gifts… Bella, your change would completely overturn the balance of power in our world. Consider that."

"So…" Bella began, and I could hear in her voice that some of her earlier resolve was fading. "What, exactly, was your plan?" She asked. "I mean… What was the point of leaving me? Why not just tell me all this, from the beginning?"

"I knew my family would disagree with my reasoning," Edward answered simply. You bet your ass we disagree… "Bella, I always planned to come back for you. My family just beat me to it." What the…?

"I… I don't understand…" Bella's muffled voice was barely audible through the phone. More crunching and rustling. Edward was moving even closer to Bella. The mutual tension in the room spiked, and it was all I could do not to succumb to it.

"I needed everyone _else_ to forget about you," Edward continued. "That was the only way to make you safe. I tried to wait… When I last checked in on the others, I saw in Alice's mind that she wasn't trying to see you as often. It was such a relief. My family was beginning to move on, so I was almost free to return. My plan was… To come get you… To take you away from here, to a place where no one knows who you are… Who _we_ are. Bella, don't you see? I did it for us. I did it _because _I love you. I was going to come back. I'll _always_ come back for you…"

This was the end. That did it. Bella was going to take him back. She was going to run away with him, and I was never going to see her again. It was over. My still heart broke as I started to accept the inevitable, but then…

"What if I don't want you to?" Bella's response was so soft, I wasn't entirely sure I'd heard it. I looked at the others for clarification, and they all nodded in unison; in encouragement. I wasn't out of the running yet...

"What do you mean, Bella?" Edward asked, obviously not expecting that response. Come on, Bella…

"I don't… Want you to." Bella's words were music to my ears, sung by a chorus of angels. All around me, the feelings of the others echoed my own, to an extent: Relief, gratitude, pride, love, amazement, wonder, shock, joy, approval, respect… The list went on and on. "I don't want you, Edward." I wanted to jump up and cheer when Bella fed Edward back his own line. "I'll always love you, too, but it's just not the same, anymore. You're controlling, and belittling, and assuming… I can't be the stupid lamb to your masochistic lion, anymore. It was killing me. Yes, becoming a vampire may pose a lot of danger, but it's _my_ life. It's _my _choice… And a confined, mortal life with you… That's the _last_ choice I would ever willingly make." I was flying. My feet were still on the ground, but gravity could no longer hold me down. Nothing could, until…

"You would rather be with Jasper?" Edward's demanded coldly. "Is that it? He nearly killed you, Bella. He was going to drain you like you were nothing."

"Stop," Bella protested. "Don't you say that."

"And the issue you were making over age?" Edward plowed on. "Jasper is physically three years older than I am, and he's over _twice _my real age."

"That doesn't matter, anymore," Bella argued. "With Jasper, it's just not the same. If anything, that's another sign of how wrong we were, together. I was always comparing myself to you. I always felt like I could never measure up. Jasper doesn't make me feel that way."

"Well, obviously," Edward said scathingly. "It's his gift, Bella. And unlike my gift, his still works on you. He's manipulating you."

"He would never do that!" Bella was screaming in protest, now.

"He did that to everyone he met for over a century!" Edward countered.

"Not to me," Bella growled back. "_Never_ to me!"

"Bella, why are you being so difficult?" Edward demanded. "You wanted this. You said you wanted to be with _me, _that you loved _me_."

"Yes, I _did_!" Bella shouted. "I was ready to give you everything, but you wanted to pick and choose! You only wanted what I was offering you if it was on _your_ terms, not mine! Well, I take it all back, Edward! You have nothing I want, now!" Bella's shouts abruptly ceased and there was a sharp intake of breath.

"Well, I still want you," Edward said, and his voice sounded even closer to the phone than before. "I'll take you away from here. I'll take you away from all this mess and you'll start to see reason, again. You'll change your mind, again, and we'll be together like we always planned. You'll see, Bella."

"No, Edward," Bella's voice was strangely tight, almost… Pained?

"You'll grow to love me, again, just like you did before, and we'll build a better life together."

"Edward, _you're hurting me_. Let go." Within the same millisecond that those words were uttered, we were all running. We were running at full speed. Edward would hear us coming, but that didn't matter. He was hurting Bella, and we had to stop him. No matter what else happened, we couldn't let him take Bella. She'd made her choice, and we'd all made ours. Forever without Edward, we could all endure… But we couldn't lose Bella.


	16. As Long as You're Mine

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 16: As Long as You're Mine**

**A/N: M-Alert! M-Alert! My first lemon is in this chapter, so be nice. Bella's POV. Theme song for this chapter: "As Long as You're Mine" from Wicked (the original Broadway cast recording is best). Big thanks to all my reviewers. Keep those reviews coming. Enjoy! (^L^)**

Edward dropped my hand immediately, but I was sure help was coming, anyway… And I knew I would need it.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward said quickly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Forgive me. I wasn't thinking, and I forgot to moderate my strength for a moment… But, Bella, please… You must come with me. I know what I'm talking about. I may have handled this the wrong way, but it was all in you're best interest."

"No!" I growled. Typical Edward, he _still_ wasn't listening to me. "You _don't _know what's best for me! You only know what you _want_ for me! It's not the same, Edward!"

"Bella…" Edward began, but he hesitated. His hands clenched into fists at his sides and he looked down for a moment. For that one moment, I considered trying to run, even though I knew I wouldn't get far… And then it was too late. "I'm sorry, Bella," Edward continued almost inaudibly, "but you've left me no choice." Edward looked up at me and his eyes were smoldering pools of molten gold. Breath left my body and my legs turned to jelly. He was dazzling me. No, no, no…

"No…" I gasped. "Edward, stop…" I muttered breathlessly, trying to focus my thoughts. After a moment, I was able to force my eyes shut, but I still felt Edward moving closer. I felt his cool, sweet breath against my face and my head spun. How long had we walked? How far were we from the house? Where was Jasper? Jasper…

"Bella, I can hear the others coming," Edward murmured gently. "We have to go. I promise everything will be alright. You just have to trust me. I'll take care of you, love. Forever…" And then his marble lips were on mine. That did it. Something changed in me. My thoughts were suddenly crystal clear, again, and I felt a strange electricity coursing through my body. It was nothing like the electricity I used to feel when Edward kissed me. This was a completely different kind of rush. It was violent and intense, radiating from my very core and energizing me. Every nerve in my body was a live wire… And I was ready to fight.

"NO!" I growled forcefully and my hand snapped toward his face like a whip. He was faster, though, and he grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. I loosed another true growl. "Get away from me, Edward!" I commanded. "Now!"

"Bella, what's gotten into you?" Edward asked incredulously. Was he honestly so surprised?

"You dazzled me! You kissed me, you…! You…!" Even in my outrage, I hesitated to use the word... But, for once, it was fitting: "You monster!" Edward flinched. He actually _flinched_, and he released me. For a fleeting moment, I almost felt guilty…. Almost.

"I'll agree with that assessment," Jasper growled dangerously. He emerged from the trees behind Edward and stalked forward slowly. Emmett was one step behind him, followed by all the others. Carlisle and Esme brought up the rear. The pain evident on their faces promptly smothered the raging fire in me. Seeing us fight would kill them. I had to stop this before it got out of hand…

"Stop," I said in a clear, decisive voice. Once again, I stepped in between Edward and Jasper, this time with an entirely different purpose. "Jasper, focus," I urged him, looking him right in the eye. "I know everyone is angry, now, but focus on Carlisle and Esme. What are _they_ feeling, now?" Jasper blinked and, after a moment, he relaxed his fighting stance. "Exactly," I said. "This isn't just about us. We can't hurt each other, not like this…" I had to stop and take a steadying breath… Okay, two… And then I turned to face Edward.

"You don't need to read our minds to know you aren't welcome here, Edward," I said evenly. "You said what you needed to say, and so did I. We're done here."

"Bella," Edward started to argue, but the deafening growls that erupted all around us made him rethink that choice. He flinched, again, and my resolve weakened marginally. I took a step toward him and I started to reach for him. My hand almost reached his face, but I thought better of that and let it settle on his shoulder. After that, I chose my words carefully: "I'm sorry it came to this," I said slowly. "I'm sorry we have to part in anger, but please… Don't make this come to a fight. Just go, Edward. Go away, and leave me alone. Leave _us_ alone… And _don't_ come back for me. I don't want you to." Edward said nothing, but he started to reach for my hand on his shoulder, so I quickly withdrew my hand.

"If you try to touch her one more time, I swear…" Jasper hissed venomously. For the moment, I ignored him. I maintained eye contact with Edward, no longer worried about him dazzling me.

"Go," I whispered once more. Edward stared back at me for one more long moment… And then he fled. He turned on his heel and darted away too quickly for even my somewhat improved eyes to follow. It was just a blur of movement and a gust of wind, and he was gone… Again.

I don't know how long I stood there, staring after him. It could've been seconds, or it could've been hours. Eventually, Jasper came up behind me and tentatively touched my shoulder. I spun around on the spot and threw myself into his stone arms. I was shaking from head to toe, though I had no idea why.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked me. I nodded.

"Yes," I whispered. "He didn't really hurt me. He just squeezed too tight for a minute. It'll probably bruise, but I'm fine."

"That still doesn't excuse it," Kate seethed. "He's lucky I didn't shock his arm right off."

"I don't know what he was thinking, but I have to say I'm grateful it didn't come to that, Kate," Carlisle sighed. "Thank you for intervening, Bella. I'm so sorry for what Edward did to you… To everyone… But I can't stop thinking of him as my son."

"I understand, Carlisle," I said softly. "Really, I do. It's okay."

"That really was some trick you pulled, Bella," Tanya interrupted, surprising me. Still, as she continued, her words were very stilted: "The way you used the phones… It was risky, but it worked well. You even shielded all of us, when we were all in the room together… Not bad."

"Um… Thanks," I said, not entirely sure if she was complimenting me or not. "I wasn't really trying to project my shield, though. It just happened, when Edward walked in…"

"Your powers are obviously growing, Bella," Eleazar chimed in. "Yes, your control may need more work, but you should be proud of your talents. They're truly impressive." That was definitely a compliment.

"Thank you," I still replied awkwardly. I was gradually adjusting to the whole Saturno thing, but that really wasn't what I wanted to discuss, at the moment. More than anything, I wanted a chance to speak to Jasper without an audience. I needed to be alone with him; a fact that was not lost on Jasper. He clearly sensed it:

"Let's just get you back to the house, now," he said, lifting me into his arms in one smooth motion. "I think we'll all feel a little more at ease, once you're safe at home, again."

"Yes," Esme quickly agreed, her relief evident. "Please, let's go back." Everyone else murmured their agreement.

The run back was a little too fast. I was happy to stay cradled safely in Jasper's arms, but I was back on my own feet all too soon… And the audience was still there. Ten pairs of eternal eyes were riveted on me as if I was about to perform some fantastic magic trick, but all I wanted was to be alone with Jasper. Again, Jasper felt my anxiety:

"Bella and I will be okay, here," he said to all the others. "Why don't the rest of you go search the woods, to make sure Edward left… And maybe you all can take a little time to hunt?" The surrounding vampires clearly got the message. They all turned and filtered back out of the house. Esme was the last to leave, pausing only long enough to give me a quick hug, and then she was gone, too. Even with everyone out of the house, though, I still felt a little too exposed in the massive living room.

"Can we go up to your room, maybe?" I asked Jasper.

"Of course," he said. He correctly guessed that I wanted to walk, this time. He just took my hand and walked along beside me. I knew what I wanted to say, but I was still trying to figure out how to say it. Jasper was patient with me, not pushing me before I was ready. As I expected, I felt markedly more comfortable when we reached his room.

Though I'd already slept in the room, once, I took a minute to really appreciate it, this time: The cream-colored carpet looked plush and pristine. The walls were a silvery gray, like a cloudy sky at twilight. One wall was completely covered with books, all arranged neatly across smooth pine shelves, and the large bed at the center of the room was covered by a pale yellow comforter and cream-colored pillows that matched the carpet. The bed somewhat resembled a massive, fluffy slice of lemon meringue pie. I smiled at the thought.

"Something funny?" Jasper prodded. "That was quite a mood shift." I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"No, I just love this room," I said, turning to face him. "I love the colors: The gray, yellow, and white… It's soothing. It suits you, really." That made Jasper smile, too.

"Bella…" Jasper began, after another moment of silence. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, right before you and Edward left. I was overwhelmed by my own emotions and all the emotions around me, and I shut down. I was just terrified of losing you. I'm not saying I doubted you, but I was still worried… To put it simply, Bella, I was an idiot. To put it simply… I love you, and I lost my mind for a minute. I'm sorry…"

"Jasper, please don't," I said. "I understand. Really, I do. I'm not upset with all. Surely you can feel that. I was just… I mean… You aren't upset with me, are you?" Jasper blinked, clearly not expecting that question.

"Upset with _you_?" He asked incredulously.

"Well… Yes." I said. "Edward kissed me, and… I just thought you'd be angry." Jasper, to my immense surprise, laughed outright.

"Yes, Bella," he laughed, "_he_ kissed _you_. I was close enough to feel your reaction, when he did that. You were furious and you tried to slap him. Personally, I was ready to take his arm off for doing that, but… I can understand why you stepped in, too. In fact, I'm glad you did. I really couldn't care less about Edward, at this point, but you were right to remind me of Carlisle and Esme. Seeing all of us fight would have crushed them. Everything you did tonight was right, Bella: The cellphone trick, the way you shielded us, stopping the fight, telling Edward to leave… You maintained your composure, even when I failed to do the same. You were brilliant. Of course I'm not upset with you." With that huge weight off my chest, I had to laugh a little, too.

"I'm just glad it all worked out so well," I admitted, pulling Alice's cell phone out of my pocket. "I didn't know if it was going to work. I just pressed a button and got lucky, for a change. Whose phone did I call?"

"Rosalie's," Jasper answered. "Alice saw the call coming, of course. Otherwise, the ringing might have given you away."

"That's what I was worried about, too," I laughed, almost dizzy with relief. "But you came. It worked, and you came for me..." Jasper stepped closer to me and pulled me into his arms.

"I told you I'll always come for you," he whispered tenderly… And then he growled. "Of course, that's what _he_ just told you, too..." He grumbled in disgust. "So… Let me rephrase: As long as you want me here, beside you, nothing will keep me away. As long as you're mine, I'll follow you anywhere and do anything for you. I love you, Bella."

In that moment, nothing else in the world existed. There was just me and Jasper in that room. Any thoughts of Edward flew out of my mind like feathers in the wind. An entirely new kind of fire ignited inside me, and nothing could put it out. In that moment, I was finally able to speak those long overdue words: "I love you, Jasper. I love you and… If I may borrow your words… I'll follow you anywhere and do anything for you, too, as long as you're mine… As long as you want me."

After a short beat of silence, Jasper pulled me even closer and kissed me fiercely. My hands tangled in his hair as I kissed him back with the same ferocity. We only stopped when I needed to breathe.

"Forever, Bella," Jasper breathed in my ear while I gasped for breath. "I want you forever." Something about the way he said that made my knees buckle. He pulled me back up and I instinctively latched onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist… And something about the new position made the fire in me intensify.

"God, Bella!" Jasper gasped, feeling the distinct change. His marble lips claimed mine in another fiery kiss while he guided me backward to sit on his bed.

"Bella," he gasped, again, pulling away for a moment.

"Oh, please don't give me the 'I might hurt you' lecture," I groaned impatiently, throwing my arms back around his neck and kissing him, again. His eyes were dark, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"No, it's not that," Jasper breathed, detaching himself from me one more time. "I… I'm not a virgin like Edward, Bella. I know what to expect, so I'll probably be okay, but… Are you sure this is what you want, Bella? I just don't want you doing something you're going to regret."

"I'll never regret you," I panted in reply. "I'll never regret anything to do with you. I've never been more sure of anything. I want you forever, too, Jasper… And I want you, right now." That started another round of passionate kissing. By the end of it, I was laying on my back, on the plush comforter, and Jasper was holding himself up over me. To my intense frustration, he chose that moment to pull back, again.

"Patience, Bella," Jasper said with a soft smile. "I just don't want to rush through this. Not only is it more dangerous, if we go too fast, but it's your first time. It needs to be done right."

"Jasper, please," I started to argue, but Jasper hit me with an abrupt tidal wave of love, lust, and desire that made my head spin.

"And that's only _part_ of what you're making me feel, right now, Bella," Jasper purred seductively, his silken voice only serving to make my heart pound even faster. "Humor me, sweetheart." I swallowed hard and nodded once, trying to regain some control over myself. Jasper wasn't helping, though. His cool, deft hands pulled off my shoes and socks in what looked and felt like one fluid motion. I suddenly felt dizzy.

"Breathe, Bella," he urged, sending a quick wave of calm my way. I was able to draw a few deep breaths and, when the dizziness dissipated, I looked back at Jasper too see his shoes and socks had been cast off, too. "Bella," he spoke again, "before we go any further, there's something you need to see. Now that your vision has sharpened a little, you'll be able to see all of my scars. There are hundreds of them, Bella. It's not a pretty sight, so, if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"Don't even say that," I managed a growl, despite my breathlessness. I sat up and came to kneel on the bed in front of him. Jasper stared back at me for a moment, unsure of my intent, so I reached up and touched the scars on is forehead, to make my intent a little clearer. "You're right, Jasper," I said. "You're scars aren't pretty. They're _beautiful_. They're marks of all you've been through; of how incredibly strong and brave you are." With that, I let my hand slowly descend to the collar of his shirt. My other hand rose to the same spot, and I started working on the buttons. I pulled each one loose until Jasper's crisp blue shirt hung open, revealing the scarred planes of his muscular chest and stomach. My eyes welled up with tears at the sight, but I found myself smiling, too.

"Beautiful," I repeated, meeting Jaspers wonder-filled eyes. I let my fingers trail down the exposed front of his body, feeling each scar on his cool, marble skin, all the while marveling at the exquisite creature before me. I was shocked when Jasper shuddered slightly at my touch, but he regained his composure quickly:

Jasper ripped his shirt off completely and pulled me into a slightly-too-long kiss. I almost fainted by the time I remembered to breathe. Making matters even worse, Jasper's hands came up to unbutton my own shirt, and I began panting erratically. I blushed at my own behavior, making Jasper hesitate in his actions, but I grabbed his hands and held them in place for a moment, letting him know it was okay. He moved at an excruciatingly slow pace, though, and I was soon growling in frustration, again:

"You know, even your average human would be done with those damn buttons, by now," I growled. Jasper's dark eyes flashed at the challenge in my tone and my heart skipped a beat. Not to worry, though. In less than a second, Jasper ripped my shirt off in one clean sweep, making my heart pound like a war drum in my chest. It was then that I remembered my own new scars, and, for a moment, my self-consciousness distracted me.

"Bella, do I really need to remind you of what you said to me, only moments ago," Jasper murmured tenderly, easing me backward until I was laying on my back, again. He didn't bother repeating my words. Instead, he leaned in to lightly kiss the scar on my neck. From there, he moved down to press his cool lips to the scar on my shoulder. Then, he continued his descent, placing feather-light kisses on the scar just above my right breast, followed by the one on my hip, and finally he placed a firmer kisses on the layered scars on my wrist. My heart surely sounded like a very loud humming bird to his ears, by the time he finished, beating out of control. The course of his kisses had brought him dangerously close to…

"Jasper!" I gasped when he traced one of his fingers just barely under the top edge of my low-rise jeans. He took that as encouragement and unhooked the button of my jeans. Hooking his fingers through my belt loops, he dragged my pants down slowly, his appreciative eyes making me blush furiously as more and more of my pale flesh was exposed. Soon, my jeans joined my shredded shirt, on the floor. Almost completely naked in front of Jasper, now, my self-consciousness flared, again. This time, Jasper used his gift to ease it. He hit me with another tidal wave of love, lust, and desire, and I found myself writhing on the bed in anticipation. Jasper growled lowly as he drank in the sight of me and the sound almost pushed me over the edge, then and there.

"That close, already, are you?" Jasper purred seductively, moving up level with me again and running his cool fingers teasingly up my arm. "Bella, love, we've only just begun," he added teasingly. "Are you sure you're ready for this? In a few more minutes, we'll be past the point of no return..." I could tell from the tone of his voice that he knew I wasn't about to back out. He just wanted me to say it, again. He was playing with me. I growled in reply.

"Jasper, I think you're a little overdressed for this," I teased right back. Jasper's eyes were swirling pools of molten onyx as he stared at me, holding my eyes as he stood up beside the bed. My heart hammered as he unbuttoned his own jeans and slid them off, and I gasped when I saw his large, hardened length barely concealed within his gray boxers. I had nothing to compare it to, of course, but I briefly wondered if all male vampires were well hung… Jasper sure was.

Surprising even myself, I crawled over to him and slowly pulled off his boxers, myself, letting them fall to his ankles so he could kick them off. When his erect length sprang free, I tentatively reached out to stroke it lightly with my hand, letting my curiosity overpower my nerves. Jasper let loose a sound that was part-growl, part-groan. I gripped him a little harder and the sound became more pronounced. I stood up and kissed him, all the while moving my hand up and down along his shaft, and another wave of lust smashed into me, seemingly uncontrolled by Jasper. It wasn't deliberate, now. I was just distracting him too much for him to focus on _not_ projecting. My confidence got a much needed boost from that thought.

"Bella," Jasper groaned when I boldly reached one hand around to explore his backside. I started dragging my fingernails lightly down his scarred back until I dipped low enough to provoke another growl from him. In a sudden movement too quick for me to follow, he reached behind me and unhooked my bra. Even as it fell away, he stripped off my cotton boyshorts, too, leaving me completely naked before him.

"God, Bella, you're beautiful," He breathed, and he kissed me fiercely, exploring my mouth thoroughly with his tongue. Soon, I grew impatient with the lip-to-lip kissing, though, and I tilted my head down so I could kiss one of the scars on his neck, just as he had kissed mine. Jasper growled, again, and threw me roughly back on the bed, though he still didn't hurt me. The rough play just turned me on even more.

Jasper pounced on me and grabbed both my wrists in one of his hands, pinning them above my head. "Keep them up," He ordered in that same seductive, commanding voice that almost made me come out of my skin. I nodded feebly and he released my hands. I kept them above my head, anyway, but the willpower needed to do that flew almost completely out the window when Jasper's hands grabbed my breasts roughly, with just the right amount of pressure. I screamed in pleasure and my arms shook with the effort to stay up, but I managed to hold them still. All was lost when Jasper replaced one of his hands with his mouth, though.

"What did I tell you, Bella?" Jasper growled, pulling away abruptly when my hands gripped his honey-colored hair. I growled in exasperation and Jasper smiled wickedly at me. "Remember who you're dealing with, Bella," he purred. "I dealt with newborn vampires for a century. Temper tantrums will get you nowhere with me."

"Remember who _you're_ dealing with, Jasper," I countered. "Unlike your newborns, _I'm _not afraid of you." Jasper's black eyes flashed dangerously and I knew I was going to pay for that one. Jasper growled and grabbed my wrists, again. This time, he didn't release them. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and used them to tie my hands together. Then, he used one hand to hold them up as he leaned in close to me, so his cool breath fanned across my ear as he spoke:

"Now, keep them up, or I'll leave them tied together all night," he threatened and I shuddered involuntarily. It was in excitement, though, not fear.

"Still not afraid of you," I panted defiantly. Jasper smiled and leaned in even closer.

"That's my girl," He purred in approval. My stomach flipped and my hips jerked upward of their own accord.

"Soon, love," Jasper laughed huskily. "Almost there…" With that, his mouth closed around the hardened peak of my breast, again, his cold tongue laving and teasing first one, and then the other. I was writhing beneath him, all the while, gasping and moaning in pleasure. Still, I managed to keep my arms up. Jasper moved lower, then, placing open-mouthed kisses all across my flat stomach and down to my hips. He paused for a moment, waiting until I was positively shaking with restraint and anticipation, and then he dipped even lower.

"Jasper! Oh, my…! Jasper!" I gasped incoherently, my first orgasm tearing through my body the moment his tongue grazed my clit. He continued licking and kissing with firm pressure, keeping a fast, steady pace until my second orgasm hit. My entrance was drenched by the time he slid one finger slowly inside me. I gasped and my hips bucked at the sensation. Jasper pumped his finger in and out a few times, almost sending me over the edge a third time before stopping and removing his finger… Only to put it in his mouth, licking it clean of my juices. He groaned and my eyes rolled into the back of my head for a moment.

"Better than any blood I've ever tasted, Bella," he purred as he crawled up level with me, again. He kissed me briefly, and then he pulled back, looking up at my arms still positioned above my head. He quickly untied me and tossed his jeans back to the floor. "You can move them, now," he said. My arms immediately locked around his neck and pulled him closer, so I could kiss him, again. This time, I explored his mouth with my tongue, carefully moving around his teeth and taking in his ridiculously sweet taste. When we broke apart, we were both gasping for breath and I was hyperaware of Jasper's hardness against my thigh.

"It's going to hurt, at first," he whispered lovingly. "I'm sorry, but it's unavoidable. I can ease some of the pain with my gift… I can help you relax through it… I can even fully sedate you, if you want, but some pain is inevitable."

"It's okay, Jasper," I said. "I know it'll hurt, but it's just this once. And don't put me out completely. I don't want to miss a moment of this, even if it is painful."

"I'll go slowly, at first," he breathed as he positioned himself at my entrance. "Just breathe, sweetheart. Breathe, Bella." I took a couple slow, steady breaths and I nodded, encouraging him to go on. He pushed into me slowly. At first, it was just mildly uncomfortable, but then he reached the barrier within and I braced for the real pain. "I love you, Bella," he breathed, and in one more swift thrust, he sheathed himself in me completely. I gasped at the sharpness of the pain and a few tears spilled from my eyes. Jasper kissed each tear away, sending waves of calm and ease into me and remaining statue-still while I adjusted to him. The coldness of his body helped ease the pain, too. The combination of the cool temperature and his soothing gift got me through it, and I was ready to continue a few minutes later.

"Okay," I whispered. With my permission, Jasper pulled back slowly and thrust forward, again. It still hurt, but the pain was getting better, so I didn't stop him. He kept a slow, steady rhythm until the pain faded almost entirely, and pleasure was paramount, instead. Soon, my hips were turning up to meet his thrusts.

"Faster," I encouraged. "Harder. Don't be afraid of hurting me, Jasper. I trust you. I love you, Jasper." Jasper seemed all too happy to oblige. His pace picked up, as did the strength of his thrusts, and soon I felt another orgasm approaching.

"J-Jazz," I gasped. "I'm gonna… I'm close… Are you?"

"Right with you, Bella," Jasper breathed, and he reached one hand between us. He pinched my clit lightly and I tumbled over the edge. My walls clenched tightly around him and I screamed out his name. After a couple more short, fast thrusts, he shouted my name, too, and tumbled into oblivion with me. Gasping for breath, he rolled off me, so as not to crush me, and I rolled over to lay my head on his scarred marble chest.

"Bella," he gasped as his stone arms encircled me. "I know it's poor form to talk about others in bed, but that was… Bella, it _never_ felt like that with Alice. It felt good, then, but that was… That was…" Jasper's utter incoherence was flattering, in and of itself.

"It was incredible," I finished for him.

"Better than that," he said, "but we'll go with that, for now, until I can think straight, again. Damn, Bella, you do realize this kind of thing isn't supposed to happen to vampires. You really like breaking all the rules, don't you?"

"Well, most of the time, I don't even know what rules I'm allegedly breaking," I laughed. "Except the rule about humans not loving vampires," I amended. "I know I'm breaking that rule, but I really don't care."

"Nor do I," Jasper chuckled softly, his body shaking beneath me. "I love you, Bella Swan," he said.

"I love you Jasper … Um… Whitlock, Hale, or Cullen?" I laughed, unsure of which name to use. Personally, I was kind of partial to Whitlock, but…

"You pick," Jasper chuckled. Whitlock it is.

"I love you, Jasper Whitlock."

"I was hoping you'd choose that one," Jasper murmured, but I was already starting to fall asleep. Jasper sent more calming waves my way, speeding up the process, and I fell asleep in the arms of my true mate, my true love, my reason for living… Forever.


	17. The Bat and the Basilisk

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 17: The Bat and the Basilisk**

**A/N: Theme song for this (short) chapter: "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette.  
**

"I heard Edward _was_ going to come back, but he refused to come near _her_, again."

"No, no, no. He found out that Bella was sneaking around with Jasper. He told Alice about it, too, but she doesn't look too upset about it."

"I told you it was weird for them to date each other. This was bound to happen."

"Hey, does anyone know if they've _all_ been together? You know, like all at once?"

"Ew! That's disgusting!"

"We all knew the Cullens were freaks."

"We knew Bella was, too. I guess they all do deserve each other, in a sick way"

"Bella sure seems happier, since they all got back. I bet Edward never mattered much to her, at all. All of them are interchangeable, apparently…"

A low growl rumbled in Alice's throat, and I dragged her out of the cafeteria, away from all the stares. "Welcome back to school, huh?" I sighed heavily. "They sure forgot my zombie state quickly enough. Aren't _you_ used to rumors like that, though?"

"Yes, Bella," Alice grumbled. "_We're_ used to it, after a hundred years or so of moving from one gossipy town to another, but this is too much for you to deal with, now. There's got to be a way to fix this mess."

"Why, Alice? Why bother? After graduation, I'm going to change, and I'll never see them again. I don't know why I was so concerned with what everyone thought of me, before. It makes no sense, now. If anything, this will make it all easier."

"You really don't care that everyone here thinks you're as loose as powder?" Such a blunt delivery, coming from Alice, startled a laugh out of me.

"Okay, I guess it does bother me a little, but that doesn't matter. It will be behind us, soon, right? The only thing I'm really worried about is how many of these rumors will get back to Charlie. I know he'd never believe such things about me, or any of you, but… Well, it's just embarrassing, knowing the idea will be in his head, even if he thinks it's all impossible." Alice actually cracked a small smile.

"If it really bothers him, we'll help you talk him down. If you can take this so calmly, I guess I have no right to get upset over it. You're right. We'll finish of this school year, change you, and start over somewhere else. No...!" Alice's eyes glazed over, and a look of horror came across her face. Perfect.

"Bella? Alice?" The sound of Angela's voice made me jump a foot, but I was already forming a plan, by the time I turned to face her.

"I think Alice may have stomach flu," I blurted quickly. "She wasn't feeling well, this morning, and she isn't keeping lunch down well. That's why we rushed out here. I'd better get her home… Actually, I'm not feeling so well, myself… Maybe I'll just stay with her." Angela's expression was innocent enough. I saw no judgment in her eyes; no condemnation. The sight would have made me happy if I wasn't so worried about what Alice was seeing.

"If you don't make it back, I'll call and tell you the homework," she said softly. "I hope you both feel better." Shy, as always, Angela made her exit.

"You might have to tell _her_ goodbye, later," Alice breathed, coming out of her vision and tugging me toward my truck. "She's a good, loyal friend." I sighed as I climbed into the passenger seat of my decrepit truck, letting Alice drive.

"I kind of wish she wasn't…"

* * *

"How long, Alice?"

"Nine weeks. I think Victoria _wants _us to be prepared for the fight. She rarely ever makes concrete decisions like this. She knows I'm watching her, but she planned this, anyway."

"She's suddenly confident, but why?" Jasper was sitting next to me on the couch, one arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. I could feel his tension, but he wasn't letting it seep out to any of the others.

"It's the other two she's bringing with her," Alice explained. "They're both incredibly gifted: Annabeth can fly, and Tristan… Well, he'll be the real problem. Tristan can paralyze his enemies with direct eye contact."

"I've never heard of vampires with such gifts," Eleazar murmured, astonished. "I suppose Alec's gift comes close, since it cuts off the senses, but…"

"Will Bella be immune?" Carlisle asked. "Can she shield us?"

"Yes," Alice replied. "Thankfully, Victoria doesn't know that. She doesn't think she can lose with Tristan. Annabeth is just there for added intimidation, really."

"Complacency will kill them all," Jasper said, and I could feel his anxiety slowly dissipating as he spoke. "Tristan will be completely flummoxed when his gift fails him. Deprived of that crutch, he'll be easy to dispose of."

"And I can shock Annabeth out of the air, with Bella's help," Kate added, smiling at the thought.

"If Bella can handle both tasks at once," Eleazar said gravely. Kate's smile vanished and Jasper tensed up, again.

"I'm not sure I can," I whispered, suddenly feeling very small. "Not like this. If I were changed, maybe, but that wasn't what we planned… I suppose we have to do it, to stop Victoria and these others, but that will make it harder to cover up my disappearance. Charlie will come looking…"

"No, we don't have to do it that way," Tanya said thoughtfully. "We'll just have to pick off our targets one at a time. We have the numbers. The wolves are sure to help, too, so we can easily keep Victoria and Annabeth busy while we bring down Tristan, first. Like Jasper said, he'll be easy to handle if we're shielded. After he's gone, _then_ Bella and Kate can focus on Annabeth. As soon as she's on the ground, we can swarm her and Victoria."

"But what about my reach?" I asked. "How can I get close enough to protect everyone from Tristan without getting _too_ close? And if Annabeth is _flying_, she'll be really difficult to reach."

"Difficult, but not impossible," Jasper said, squeezing my hand reassuringly. "She might be out of your range at times, but she'll have to come lower to the ground to attack. You can get her then."

"And Tristan?"

"We can train you," Eleazar offered. "It's unusual, training you while you're still human, but yours is an unusual case. Kate and Jasper can both project their gifts, so they can help you get a feel for it. With a little work on distance and control, you might be okay."

"And, if you aren't, there are other options," Carmen added, coming to stand by her mate. "I could carry you, during the fight. If Jasper, Emmett, and Eleazar stay in front of us, Tristan won't be able to reach you. I can carry you as close as is necessary, and dodge out of the way quickly, if there's a problem. You'll be safe with me, bambina."

"I don't doubt that," I said, managing a small smile, "and I'll be happy to help. I'd hate to sit out of the fight, with all of you in such danger." That got a whoop of laughter out of Emmett, but Carmen smiled understandingly.

"Alice, can you tell how _exactly_ Tristan's gift works?" Carlisle suddenly asked. "If he does manage to paralyze one of us, does the effect fade?"

"No," Alice replied, her voice as dark as her expression. "His gift is _very_ powerful, and lasting. One look is all it takes, and then you're paralyzed until he kills you or someone else kills him."

A chill seemed to spread through the suddenly silent room. Jasper went to work, trying to soothe everyone. I would've tried to help him, but I was suddenly paralyzed with fear. How was I going to do this? Everyone seemed to believe the coming fight would go without a hitch, but it was all riding on _me_. Nine weeks. I had nine weeks to prepare… So why did I get the feeling that doom was approaching much faster, as if carried on a pair of dark and deadly wings?

* * *

"Are you feeling better, Bells?" Charlie asked when I got home, that evening. For a second, my mind went blank, but then I realized what he was referring to.

"Angela called?" Charlie nodded, his suspicious eyes fixed on my face. I kept my expression as bland as I could. "Good. I don't really know what happened. It must have been something Alice and I ate at lunch. By the time I got her back home, we were both really nauseated. She was sick for an hour or so, and then I was, too. We each took some Pepto Bismol and we fell asleep watching a Lifetime movie. Carlisle said it was probably just a one-day bug. We both feel fine, now."

For a moment, Charlie was quiet, and I knew he was deciding whether or not to be angry. When his cheeks reddened, I thought I was in for trouble, but his next words took me off guard: "Bella, were you really sick, or were you trying to get away from…? Look, Bells, I know how people here can talk, so I'm not going to jump to conclusions, here, but…". I quickly realized what he was trying to say, and I blushed, too. Only in Forks could news of a new scandal travel so far and fast in _one_ day.

"Dad, it's like you just said: people here will say anything about anyone, never mind whether it's true or not. No, what everyone is saying about the Cullens and me is absolutely _not_ true, and no, that's not why Alice and I left. We really were sick. Call Carlisle and ask him, if you want."

"Bells, if none of it is true, it needs to be stopped." I could tell from the magenta color of his face that Charlie was torn between embarrassment and outrage. "I've heard some pretty nasty gossip, in my time, but they're making you sound like… Well, I'm not gonna say it, but you probably know."

"Yeah, Dad, I do," I said quickly, humiliated. "Nothing I can say or do is going to fix this mess, though, and you'll only make it worst if you stick in your oar. If you try anything, everyone will just take that as confirmation that it's true and you're covering it up. I already talked this over with the Cullens, okay? We all decided to just leave it alone. In a few more months, I'll graduate and leave for college, and none of this will matter. Case closed. Please, please, just drop it. I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Charlie seemed to accept that. We both stood there for a moment, the color slowly fading from both our faces. Then, to my intense relief, he changed the subject: "Jake called, too. He was worried about you. He heard you were sick. He probably heard more than that, but…"

"Dad, please!" I cringed and stepped around him, grabbing the notepad by the phone and half-running for the stairs.

"Aren't you going to call him back?" Charlie called after me.

"I'll go see him, tomorrow," I half-growled, barely swallowing the full sound in time. "It's been a while. We should talk face-to-face. I'm really tired and I still have homework to do, right now."

"Pizza, tonight?"

"Yeah, sure," I called, just a few feet from my room. I sped up, jogging in and quickly closing the door behind me. I let myself sink to the floor and I buried my freshly red face in my hands. "What a nightmare."


	18. Treaty and Treason

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 18: Treaty and Treason**

**A/N: Hey, I'm back. Sorry for the delay. Bella's POV. Theme song: "My Sacrifice" by Creed. Enjoy!  
**

From the moment I saw Jacob, I knew I needed to get the embarrassing stuff over with right away: "Jake, whatever you heard about the Cullens and me isn't true, okay? C'mon, you know that… Don't you?" To my relief, Jake cracked a half-smile.

"Yeah, I know you can't trust the rumor mill around here," he laughed. "Imagine if the gossips knew the _real_ truth about all of us." That made me laugh, too. I couldn't help it.

"Werewolves, vampires, Saturnos… Yeah, they'd never believe any of _that_."

"Whoa, wait a minute. What was that last one?"

"Later, Jake," I hedged. "If you didn't believe the rumors, why did you call? Was there anything in particular you wanted to know? Surely you didn't buy that I was actually sick." Jake raised his eyebrows and took a couple very deliberate steps toward me.

"Since when do I need a reason to call my best friend?" With no more warning than that, he closed the distance between us and yanked me off my feet into a very tight, very warm hug. For a moment, I was startled by the close proximity, afraid of my new, growing thirst, but then…

"You know, you kind of stink, Jacob," I said bluntly. When he didn't immediately laugh and ask what I was talking about, I began to worry again. To my surprise, he set me down gently and backed away slowly… Too slowly, like he was afraid of something. "Jake?"

"You don't smell right either, Bella," he said warily. "And you're too cold. Not like _them_, but not like you, either… What aren't you telling me?" Knowing he wasn't about to let me avoid the topic, again, I sighed and looked around. Standing outside, in the driveway outside the Blacks' house, I suddenly felt very exposed.

"Can we go inside, Jake?" I asked. After a moment of thought I added, "And you might want to call the rest of the pack. I feel like they should hear this directly from me, not second-hand, through the pack-mind." Any sign of my old friend disappeared, then. The hard-faced version of Jacob took over, and he gave me one curt nod before jogging into the trees. I knew I wasn't supposed to follow.

"I'll call Emily, in case no one is out patrolling," Billy said from the front porch. I hadn't noticed his chair in the doorway. I only caught a quick glimpse of his grave face before he wheeled himself back into the small house. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him inside. He kept his conversation with Emily short, under a minute in fact. When he was done, he swiveled around to face me again, the deep wrinkles of his face darkened further with concern.

"Emily said Sam just phased. Jake'll be able to reach him… So… How's Charlie?"

"In the dark, as always," I said frankly. "Confused and oblivious, as he always will be. How have things been with you?" Billy smiled grimly and rolled his chair over to the small couch, indicating that I should sit, too. I accepted the offer with a silent nod of thanks.

"Same, same," Billy answered casually. "Been pretty quiet since the pack found you and your new friends in the forest. No sign of Victoria on our side of things. You have any news on her?"

"Yes, but that's not all I came to talk about. There's something else… It's kind of important that you know."

"Got a hold of Sam," Jacob said, ducking under the doorframe. "He'll round up the others, and they'll be here shortly. So, Bella… Did all those bites heal okay?"

"As well as can be expected," I said, cringing at the memory.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jacob pressed.

"See for yourself," I said, rolling up my right sleeve a little, so he could get a better look at the layered bite scars. Unable to fit on the small couch beside me, Jacob sat on the floor at my feet and took my offered hand. Even sitting on the floor, his head came up almost as high as my shoulder. "Jeez, Jake, you know steroids are bad for you, don't you?"

"Wolf thing," Jacob laughed distractedly, scrutinizing my scarred hand closely. "Is that why you're a little colder, all over?" He asked after a moment, releasing my hand. "The scars feel and smell more like their skin than yours. Is because you have so many of them, now?"

"That's part of it, yes," I admitted.

"What's the other part?"

"Wait for the others, Jake." I insisted. Jake nodded sullenly and turned away from me slightly, sitting more comfortably on the floor.

Sam and the rest of the pack arrived a few minutes later. Sam entered first, his face cool and composed. The others weren't as careful to hide their feelings: wariness, curiosity, and varying degrees of hostility. Tough crowd. I looked down at my hands and absently traced one of my scars, trying to ignore them.

"Alice had a new vision of Victoria," I began. "In nine weeks, she'll be coming here with two other vampires, Tristan and Annabeth. The timing could change, of course, but we know the other two are definitely coming. Here's the problem: Annabeth can fly, and Tristan can paralyze his enemies with direct eye contact."

Some of the wolves gasped. Most of them growled lowly. I went on without giving them a chance to interrupt.

"We may need to work together to beat them, vampires and wolves. Kate, one of the vampires from Alaska, can use her gift to shock Annabeth down out of the air, if need be. Once she's pinned, she should be easy prey, then."

"But how can we defeat Tristan if we can't look at him?" That was the youngest boy in the room. When I looked at him, he smiled openly. "I'm Seth, by the way. Leah here's my sister, the first she-wolf ever in our tribe. Funny, huh?"

"Focus, Seth," Sam said evenly.

"Right," Seth laughed. "Sorry."

"Same question, Bella," Jacob said, looking up at me. "Did the psychic pixie see how to do that?"

"Not exactly," I explained. "Alice's visions don't work that way. We did come up with a solution, though. It's just… Well, it involves me."

"What, as a distraction?" One of the older boys asked. "I guess that could work, if he's focused on you."

"Then he'll just paralyze her. No way!" Jacob growled. I gripped his warm shoulder, to stop him from arguing further.

"He can't, Jake," I said calmly, trying to calm him. "Just like Edward can't read my mind, Tristan can't paralyze me."

Jacob frowned and opened his mouth to say something else, but Sam spoke first: "How?" He asked, "What makes you immune?"

I took a deep breath and tried to meet Sam's inquiring gaze levelly. This was the part he and the rest of the pack had to understand. "Just like you have your legends, vampires have theirs," I began. "Thousands of years ago, an especially powerful type of vampire was discovered. They were called Children of Saturn. That's what I am."

"No," Jacob said flatly. "You're human. You're not a vampire, yet, Bella, even if the Cullens are planning to change you."

"It doesn't work like that, Jake," I struggled to explain. "No, I'm not technically a vampire, yet, but I am a Saturno… And even the vampire part is almost true. The change has kind of already started. It's all these bites. Even though most of the venom was sucked out, enough remained to make a difference: My senses are slightly sharper, my balance is a little better, and I get a little thirsty, too. I keep it in check by eating rare meat, but it's there. I even have to be careful around Charlie…"

Jacob stared at me, clearly horrified. I didn't dare look at anyone else. When Jacob finally spoke, his voice was strangled with restraint, and his hands shook slightly. "Okay… So, what makes you a Saturn-thing?"

"Saturno," I said. "Most vampires don't have extra powers. Some have one power, like Jasper's ability to control emotions, or Alice's visions. Saturnos have more than one extra sense or power. I have two, and they're growing continually stronger, even before my change."

"Your powers are working, now?" Seth asked eagerly. "What can you do? Can we see it?"

"Muzzle it, Seth," Leah scolded. I smiled at her cheerful little brother.

"They aren't really visible," I explained, "but I think you already did see one. When you saw us with Laurent, were you there in time to see him fall?"

"The one with the short blonde hair told you and the one with the long blonde hair to stop," Seth said. "Then Laurent got up and growled at you."

"The one with the long blonde hair is Kate."

"The one with the shocking power." Seth nodded in understanding.

"Normally, she can only shock someone who touches her. One of my gifts is amplification. That day in the woods, I helped her project her gift out to him. My other gift is a shield, of sorts. At first, we all thought I was just immune to Edward's gift, though that was strange, too. The truth is, very few gifts _do_ work on me. Jasper and Alice are rare exceptions. Their gifts work on me because their gifts work physically, or outside the body entirely. Most vampiric gifts work only mentally, inside the mind. That's what my shield protects me from. Mental gifts. Like most vampires, Tristan's gift only works in your mind. I've been working on projection, so I should be able to protect at least a small group of you long enough for you to kill Tristan… At least, we hope so. That seems to be our only chance."

For a long moment, no one spoke. No one moved. Billy's wheelchair creaked when he shifted in his seat. He was the first to speak: "The treaty doesn't cover this."

The treaty. I squashed the urge to run out of the room and I tried to respond with some semblance of confidence. I'd gone over this with Carlisle. I knew I was speaking to the chief of the Quileute tribe. I had to hold it together and make my voice heard. "Billy Black," I began formally, "I've been given permission to speak on behalf of the whole Cullen family, if you will permit me?"

Billy straightened in his chair and nodded once. The very air in the room seemed to change, then. The wolves sat in unison, watching Billy and me attentively. Billy suddenly looked like their chief, not just Jacob's father. Nothing about his appearance had actually changed, but his demeanor changed dramatically. He projected a surprising kind of majesty that momentarily took my breath away. I instinctively wanted to look to Jacob for support, but I knew I couldn't. The time for socializing had passed. This was strictly business.

"I told you my change has already started," I began. "The Cullens did not start it. I was bitten by the vampire, James, and then by Laurent. The damage they did is irreversible. I will never again be fully human. If the Cullens are permitted to complete my change, I will be a full vampire and part of their family. If the tribe refuses to allow the Cullens to complete my change, I will still be a part of their family, in a way, but I will be an unknown entity. As far as we know, all Saturnos in history have either been changed or killed. I am, in fact, a part of an endangered species… It may be that I am the only one left on my kind. While I remain between human and vampire form, the course of my life is unpredictable. Though I still eat human food, my thirst is slowly growing. These scars I have shimmer in the sunlight. My lifespan is no longer predictable. In this form, I may only live as long as your average human, but I might live much, much longer. What if I age too slowly? What if my thirst continues to grow, even though I'm not strong enough to hunt animals like the rest of my family? Do I starve myself? Is it possible for me to starve to death? What if it isn't? What becomes of me, then?" I gasped. There was a knot forming in my chest and I could feel myself starting to cry.

"Billy, I'm scared," I confessed. "My family is scared for me, and yes, they_ are _my family. I've been told I might attract trouble, even after my change, because of what I am, but that trouble will be much easier to deal with if I'm a full vampire. While I'm stuck in this strange kind of purgatory, I can't help anyone. I can't even help myself. If I am changed, I and the rest of my family will continue to obey the rules of the treaty, but we have to know it will still be intact. Please, Billy." I turned to Sam, then. Technically, he had just as much power in the tribe as Billy. "Please, Sam. Make this one exception. Let the Cullens bite me. Let them complete my change. Leave the treaty intact, and we can fight against our mutual enemies, instead of each other. If you find it so hard to trust the other Cullens, trust _me_. Allow my change, so I can _protect_ you. Please…"

That was it. That was all I could say. I waited for their answer with bated breath, fighting back tears while seconds that felt like hours ticked past. Billy exchanged a glance with Sam and the alpha wolf nodded once. Billy looked back at me and leaned forward, extending his right hand to me. I shook his hand tentatively, marveling at how much cooler his grip felt than his son's. He smiled and said, "The Cullens may change you, and you alone. The treaty will remain intact."

I returned Billy's smile and gave his hand a grateful squeeze. I let go and settled back into the small couch, but Billy was still watching me intently. "Bella, we'll allow you to come into our land as long as you remain in this part-human form, but we can't take chances with your blood-thirst. At least one member of the pack must always be with you while you're here. Does that sound reasonable enough?"

"Yes, of course," I replied immediately.

"Once you're fully changed, you won't be allowed across our border," Billy continued. "Not without permission, at least. If need be, we might consider revising the treaty, later. For now, your change is an exception to the rule, not a change of the rule. Understood?"

I nodded fervently. Billy nodded once.

"Good," one of the older boys said. "Can we go eat, now?" Several of the boys chuckled, though Leah still scowled. The tension in the air depleted rapidly.

"Go on," Jacob chuckled. "I'll take escort duty."

"I should be getting back, anyway," I said, standing and sidling out of the crowded room. Jacob got up and followed me. The pack trickled out after us, some of them immediately phasing, though some stayed in human form long enough to call out, "See ya, Saturno."

I expected Jacob to get in my truck with me, but he vaulted into the back, instead. "Just give me a minute," he said in response to my silent question. "I need to think."

"Okay," I said, my voice very small. Jacob didn't seem to hear me. I got in the truck and left him alone with his thoughts, grateful that the roar of the engine allowed me to finish crying without him hearing me. By the time I reached the border, my eyes were dry and my breath was steady. Jacob came around to the passenger door and I planted a smile on my face, ready to give him a politely indifferent "See you later". He opened the door and climbed inside.

"Can I come the rest of the way with you?" He asked. "I want to hear a little more about this Saturno stuff from actual vampires." He grimaced. "I never though I'd actually _want_ to speak to vamps, but there it is. So?"

"Sure," I said, and I continued to drive. Jacob shifted uncomfortably and I added, "Don't worry, I'll protect you." That startled a bark of laughter out of him.

"That's the weirdest part. You really could, couldn't you?"

I had to think about that one. "Well, I was joking, but… I could shield you from Kate's gift, but the others wouldn't be handicapped by me. They could just toss me aside if they really wanted to get at you. Hypothetically, of course."

"Of course," Jacob said, smiling easily. He was changing back into my old friend, again.

"So, you're okay with all this?" I had to ask. "With me?"

"It's not like I can change it, either way," he said, shrugging. "Like you said, it's too late. So I guess I'll just have to get used to the idea."

"Will you?" I prodded.

Jacob's smile faded, but he slung one warm arm around my shoulders. "I think so," he answered honestly. "You'll still be Bella, anyway. That won't change."

"No, it won't," I promised.

Jacob spent the rest of the drive telling me who everyone in the pack was, and when each new member changed. He was finishing the story of Seth's change when we reached the Cullen house. I automatically drove around to park outside the garage and was alarmed to see the window protectors on the house were down. Something was wrong. I jumped out of the truck and ran around to the front door. Jacob easily kept pace with me, tense and alert.

"Is Victoria coming?" I asked Alice the moment I saw her. She shook her head. She looked like she would be crying, if that were possible. Carlisle, Esme, Eleazar, and Carmen looked sick. Everyone else looked furious. Jasper darted over to me and yanked me into his arms. His firm grip only made me more anxious. He didn't bother trying to calm me down.

"Edward went to the Volturi," Jasper finally managed to tell me, though he refused to release me. "He told them what you are."


	19. Irwin

**What Have We Done?**

**Chapter 19: Irwin**

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. I'll try to update more often. Bella's POV. Theme song for this chapter: "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri.  
**

Jacob had many questions he wanted answered about Edward, the Volturi, and Saturnos. Carlisle and Eleazar explained everything to him while I sat on the couch with Jasper. He sat on my right while Emmett was a solid bulwark on my left, ready to pounce on anyone and anything that came near me. By the time explanations were over, only Jasper's calming influence kept Jacob from phasing on the spot. Fuming, Jacob stomped out of the house and phased as soon as Jasper released him. While he ran to alert the wolves, Alice stood and began to pace. Until that point, I'd fallen into a somewhat trance-like state, lost in my own thoughts. Alice's odd behavior brought me back to the present.

"Alice?" I asked, my voice soft and distant. I blinked and cleared my throat. "Alice, did you see something else?"

"Yes and no," Alice said, still pacing. Very odd behavior in a vampire. "I'm still trying to see, but…" She kept pacing, and she didn't say anything else.

"Alice?" Carlisle prodded.

Alice stopped pacing abruptly and turned to face Carlisle, nodding decisively. "We need to go to Volterra," she said. "All of us. Edward's trying to make some kind of deal with the Volturi. They're still talking, so I can't see the outcome. I just know we'll all be better off if we can tell the Volturi our side of the story. We have to hurry, though. It's a long way to Italy, and we don't want the Volturi thinking we're trying to hide. If we're upfront with them, they have no reason to punish us. We've done nothing wrong. Technically, we didn't even break the secrecy law. The pack knew about us from their own legends, and Bella's not just any human. She's a Saturno, so she's really an exception to the rule."

"I don't know if they'll see it that way, Alice," Eleazar said ruefully. Alice started to argue, but Eleazar raised a hand to stop her. "Nonetheless," he said, "I agree with you. That is our best course of action."

"Charlie," I said immediately. "What do we tell him?"

"We'll tell him we're taking you camping," Alice answered, not missing a beat. "Everyone in town believes we go camping all the time. No one should question our taking you along, not even Charlie."

"Finally, the rumor mill works to our advantage," I grumbled. Emmett laughed. Alice cracked a small smile.

"You'd be surprised just how often it does, Bella," Esme said, reaching across Jasper to pat my arm lightly.

* * *

Volterra. The worst place for a human Saturno to be. Still, I had a sizable guard of my own to protect me. Eleazar and Carlisle entered the foreboding castle at the head of our group, following the diminutive blond vampire, Jane, and the mountainous guard, Felix. Carmen and Esme entered next. I followed them, flanked by Jasper and Emmett. Kate and Rosalie walked close behind me. Tanya and Irina brought up the rear. Everyone around me moved in such a way as to obscure me from view. Only my scent and my heartbeat hinted at my position within the throng. Of course, that meant I couldn't see anything, either. When we stepped out of a long, dark antechamber, Aro's enthusiastic greeting took me by surprise.

"Eleazar! Carlisle! My dear friends, welcome! It has been too long!"

The crowd around me shifted just enough for me to glimpse Aro. The vampire from the painting in Carlisle's study was standing mere feet from me. Four vampires followed him as he approached us, seemingly concerned for his safety. Aro was unperturbed. He eagerly grabbed Carlisle's hand, lingering for a minute or so. When he finally released Carlisle's hand, he immediately took up Eleazar's, smiling congenially even while his cloudy red eyes gazed intensely at some unseen image. He was reading their minds, just as Jasper had warned me. After another minute, he stepped back.

"Marvelous," he breathed in his wispy voice. "Simply marvelous. It really has been too long. You've both done so much since last I saw you. Just look how many others of our kind have taken to your lifestyle! Simply fascinating. I've never been so pleased to be proven wrong. I am so glad you've found happiness… Of course, that isn't all you've found, is it?"

Even I could hear the clear order to move out of the way.

Only Jasper stayed beside me, keeping one of my hands firmly in his. The rest of our group parted. Only then did I see our terrifying predicament: The hall we'd entered was lined wall-to-wall with vampires. We were outnumbered three-to-one. No wonder Aro was so completely at ease.

"Bella," he sighed almost longingly. "You honor us with your presence. Please come forward, so everyone may look upon you."

Another order, not a request.

I reluctantly released Jasper's hand and walked forward. When at last I stepped clear of my vampire family, Aro stepped forward and took my hand. I instinctively tensed, and not purely out of fear. Though Aro's grip was firm, his skin was abnormally cold, and it felt strangely brittle. Alien, in some way. His freakish skin and eyes only made him more intimidating. I shuddered involuntarily, but Aro was preoccupied. He still held my hand, and his cloudy red eyes held mine, but frustration soon became apparent on his features. What had he been expecting?

"You must forgive my curiosity, dear Bella," he said, finally releasing me. "I was warned, of course, that even I would be unable to penetrate your shield, but I had to see it for myself." Stepping back, Aro bowed slightly. "Benvenuta, Isabella."

"Benvenuta, Isabella," the room chorused. All the vampires lining the walls bowed in welcome. I took an involuntary step back, unnerved. The next voice I heard only made matters worse.

"It's okay, Bella," Edward said softly. He was standing near the other vampires from the painting, Marcus and Caius. "Saturnos are honored here."

"Indeed, Bella, we welcome you with open arms!" Aro cried reverently. "Such a joy it is to see a Saturno alive!"

"Excuse me, Aro?" That was Alice. She walked forward until she stood beside me, ignoring the warning glares from the nearest members of the Volturi guard.

"Alice!" Aro's smile grew even wider. "Benvenuta!"

"Thank you, Aro," Alice replied with a courteous smile. "Might I ask what arrangement you finally came to with Edward? I only saw a small part of your discussion, you see. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."

I marveled at Alice's boldness. Even phrased delicately, that was a very forthright request.

"Oh, of course, how rude of me," Aro half-laughed. "I was so eager to see young Bella, I forgot your reason for coming here. Yes, we do have a few matters still to sort out, and we certainly have no further need of such an audience. Brothers, let us return to the residential wing. I'm sure our friends will be much more comfortable there."

* * *

The residential wing was a cross between a modern, luxurious hotel, and Versailles. The stone tiles on the floor were polished to a soft sheen. Tapestries, paintings, and other ornaments adorned every wall. Shining suits of armor were stationed at every corner, and stained glass mosaics covered all the windows. It was beautiful and extravagant, but it felt like a gilded cage, to me. I kept my eyes down and let Jasper guide me forward. I didn't expect him to try calming me. He was too busy staring murderously at Edward.

When we stopped walking, we stood before a large wooden door. A large V was engraved in the dark wood, each point accented by a different jewel: An emerald on the top left, a ruby on the top right, and a large diamond on the bottom point.

"Our quarters," Aro announced. "The other rooms would have been too small for our needs, but I'm sure you'll feel most comfortable here."

The three Volturi elders occupied three very large suites connected at the center by a large, circular room with a massive round table at its center. An elegant crystal chandelier hung over the table, its light reflecting off the many mirrors along the walls. Aro walked around to the far side of the table and opened his arms invitingly. "Please, have a seat," he said. "We have much to discuss, and one of us still requires sleep." Aro smiled at his little joke. I forced a laugh.

"Not so much, now," I confessed conversationally. "Since my recent encounter with Laurent, I can get by on very little sleep."

"Ah, yes," Aro sighed, shaking his head sadly. "Laurent. A savage and a fool. It is from others like him that we must protect you, dear Bella. That was precisely Edward's proposal, though I'm sure you still doubt his motives. Come sit by me, Bella, and we'll see if we can sort out this egregious misunderstanding."

As instructed, I sat beside Aro. Jasper was allowed to sit on my other side. The remainder of our group was forced to spread out. From my left sat Jasper, Alec, Alice, Kate, Jane, Tanya, Irina, Rosalie, Demetri, Emmett, Felix, Carlisle, Esme, Chelsea, Eleazar, Carmen, Marcus, Renata, and Caius. Edward sat on Aro's right side. I couldn't help but notice the way Jane and Alec glared at me. Aro, on the other hand, stared at me like a beloved pet.

"Now, Bella," he began with a placating smile "I understand how betrayed you must feel right now, but I assure you betrayal was never Edward's intention. He came to us purely out of concern for your safety, and one only needs to look at your many bite scars to see why. Raising a Saturno is a dangerous business, and while your family and friends here have done a remarkable job, the fact remains that they are ill equipped. Our facility is much stronger, and our guard much more formidable. Edward believes you will be much safer among us, and my brothers and I are inclined to agree."

Aro waited patiently for my response, but I was struggling to breathe normally. Edward _did_ betray me. He practically _sold_ me to the Volturi. They expected me to join them. Was refusal even an option? I had to try.

"Is this something you insist upon?" I asked timidly. "Or do I have a choice in the matter?"

Apparently, that wasn't the response Aro was hoping for. His smile faded.

"Well, I certainly hope you'll join us eventually," he said. "Edward already has." That surprised me. I was the one being sold, after all. Why did Edward join them? "If you remain obdurate, however, I suppose other arrangements can be made."

"You don't have to join us, but you must remain here," Caius proposed.

"Why?" I gasped before I could stop myself, too alarmed to be tactful.

"Trouble follows you as ducklings follow their mother," Caius responded coolly. "For your own safety, and for the safety of others, we must keep an eye on you. We must also see that you are properly changed, and changed soon. We can't have you wandering around in your current state much longer. You are too conspicuous."

I gaped at Caius in horror, unable to find words strong enough to express my outrage.

"May we compromise?" Carlisle asked, his voice as polite and reasonable as ever. "What if we agree to bring Bella here every other weekend? That way, you can see any changes in her condition for yourselves, and we can maintain our cover in Forks. As you know, we plan to change Bella after her graduation, so the humans who know her won't be alarmed by her sudden disappearance. We will continue training Bella in the use of her gifts, and we will settle things with Victoria. We will bring her here when it's time to change her."

Aro's smile returned.

"Ah, my dear friend, Carlisle," Aro laughed delightedly. "You can always be counted on to come up with a reasonable solution for all. Indeed, most reasonable. Wouldn't you agree, Caius? Marcus?" The question was apparently rhetorical. Aro continued without waiting for a response. Still, as he continued, the look that Caius gave me said he did not agree one bit. "Naturally, you will be expected to spend the entire weekend here, when you come. You will be given your own rooms here. Of course, you need not all come together, though you will always be welcome. No fighting. No leaving prematurely. You will see that the humans near you believe you are on camping trips, and nothing more. You may tell the shape-shifters of our arrangement, as long as they do not interfere, and as long as they also agree to tell no one. There. That's settled."

Aro spoke very fast. I blinked, trying to absorb all he'd said. The words that stood out the most were 'no fighting'. Before I could ask what exactly he meant by that, he stood and looked down at Edward.

"Why don't you show your old family to the guest rooms, Edward? Heidi will be arriving with our dinner soon. We'll make arrangements for the rest of you as need arises, but you should all be comfortable in the meantime."

* * *

The short walk to the guest rooms was tense. Edward led the way, and it must have been an act of sheer will to turn his back to the rest of us. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Kate, Tanya, and Irina were staring daggers at him. Carlisle, Esme, Eleazar, and Carmen were conversing very quietly. Alice appeared to be searching the future for something. I kept a tight hold on Jasper's hand. The words 'no fighting' kept replaying in my head like a broken record. I wouldn't let my family get into any more trouble. Still, I couldn't pass up the chance for a little verbal sparring. Surely that was allowable.

"So, how did you get roped into this?" I asked Edward acidly. "I would think you'd be rewarded for selling me out, not punished. Why did they make you join?"

"They didn't _make_ me join," Edward replied softly, not turning to look at me. "I chose to join them. I never would have considered it, before, but my old family disowned me."

"Don't play the pity card," I growled. "You brought that on yourself. You tried to kidnap me. When that failed, you asked someone else to do it for you."

"No one is kidnapping you, Bella."

"They're imprisoning me. Close enough."

"You aren't a prisoner, either," Edward countered. "I never would have allowed that."

"_Allowed_ that?" Jasper interjected scathingly. "Once a slave is sold, the seller has no say in what becomes of them. I know how such things work, Edward. I saw it as a human, and I saw it again tonight."

Edward didn't respond. He kept walking for a full minute before he finally stopped and turned to face us. His expression was pained.

"That was not my intention," He nearly croaked, strangled by some emotion. "I just want Bella to be safe and happy."

"Then you're your own worst enemy," I whispered, blinking back tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. The betrayal cut so deep.

Edward said nothing. He stared at me for a long, tense moment. Finally, he looked away. "I don't know why Aro asked me to escort you," he said, his voice taking on a formal tone. "I can hear someone else nearby. Irwin!"

I gasped at the name. Alice froze. Irwin appeared, quite literally, out of nowhere. He materialized in front of us without so much as a sound. Alice stared at him, effectively dumbstruck. Irwin was only an inch or two shorter than Jasper. His appearance was of a man in his mid-twenties. His curly auburn hair was pulled back in a short ponytail. He had high, defined cheekbones, and a strong jaw. His nose was long and slightly wide at the tip, softening the strong angles of the rest of his face. His eyes were wide and kind, though red. His stance was strong, but not deliberately intimidating. He inclined his head in greeting and smiled politely at Edward.

"Is there a problem?" His voice was midrange for a man, warm, and just a little hesitant. Was he shy?

"Would you please show our guests to their rooms?" Edward asked. "Aro asked me to do it, but I just remembered another errand I must attend to. You're new here, too. I'm sure you understand."

"Of course," Irwin responded, still smiling politely. "Go on, Edward. Aro won't hear of this from me."

"Thank you," Edward said with transparent gratitude. He quickly departed and Irwin turned to face us directly.

"Hello," he murmured cordially. "Glad to meet you all. The guest rooms are just around the corner, if you'll please…" Irwin blinked dazedly and his voice trailed off. He was staring at Alice, and she had yet to stop staring at him.

"Thank you, Irwin, but I think we'll manage," I said. "If they're just around the corner…" Jasper realized my intention immediately. He stepped around Irwin and started walking down the hall. Grabbing Kate's hand, I tugged emphatically. She took the hint and came with me. Everyone but Alice and Irwin followed us. As we rounded the corner, I looked back in time to see Alice take a tentative step toward Irwin. She extended her hand to him and he took it. I took Jasper's hand and pulled him into one of the many guest rooms.


End file.
